Breaking Bad Habit After Being Sick

A dear teacher friend of mine (who is now a mom of older teens) noticed this behavior pattern with her kids too, and suggested that for every day of the 'bad habit'/change from the norm (we all make concessions for kids when they're sick or traveling, right?) to expect three days of working to get things back to normal. This is not an exact formula, by the way, but all that to say, you may be in for a week or so of work in getting things back to how they usually are.

If it were me, I'd expect that she's going to get up and that she's going to use the reasons that were previously valid to get the same parental attention. ("I'm sick/I'm scared" as you wrote.) At that point, not a lot of talking, just take her hand and walk back to bed. I wouldn't engage in trying to do a lot of explanation of why she's not sick or anything like that, just "You're in your own bed tonight. Go back to sleep. We'll come check on you later." Keep taking her back to bed. As I said, not a lot of explanation nor do you try to reason with her. Try to keep your emotions neutral and keep engagement to a minimum.

Sometimes, with my son, I'll appoint one of his bedtime buddies (animals) to 'watch out for' him. My short explanation to him, when he gets up is "You're fine. I'll see you in the morning." and then no more conversation. No hugs or kisses (don't want to validate their waking with positive attention) no "I love yous". Just "You're fine. I'll see you in the morning."

Be patient, be consistent and know that she *will* get back in the routine if you don't give it any more attention than is due. This might be hard if she's getting emotional, but if you expect her to sleep alone and she had no problem with it before, it will be best to minimize the issue.

Good luck! And I wish you and your husband plenty of patience. I know how much I dislike being wakened. We also have a rule in our house that if our son wakes us for no *real* reason (wet accident/throwing up, etc.-- he hasn't had any nightmares as of yet), there's no video/tv time for that day. I hate to punish it, but our sleep was getting wrecked by a little boy who wanted "company" at night. ugh! You have my empathy. :)

If she is "sick" does she need to go to the doctor? Does she need to be taking medicine.. does she need to stay in her room longer during the day to get better? Is she going to be too sick to get Christmas gifts in a timely manner?

Put it back in her corner.. "I am so sorry you are so sick, we were going to go ice skating (pick and event) , but I guess you need more time in your bed to get better ."

Remind her she needs to sleep in her own bed at night. She is a big girl. We used to give our daughter some new choices. Do you wan tto sleep with your head where your feet normally are? Do you want to make a pallet on the flloor to sleep on tonight? Do you want to borrow dads sleeping bag?

Play around with getting her to want to be back in her room..

we had this happen when my son had hand, foot, and mouth disease. he did not eat solid foods for almost a week and slept in our bed. i wouldn't say it was a mistake because he was really seriously sick. but it was a nightmare getting him back into his own bed. after awhile i couldn't deal with him in our bed anymore. i just did the supernanny method of putting him back, over and over and over again. the first night it was almost three hours - along with screaming, kicking, crying, and full out tantrum. the next night it was about an hour. the third night it was about 20 minutes. i was very annoyed with supernanny for not mentioning how long it REALLY takes. or how many nights lol. but it worked. he has been a champion sleeper in HIS ROOM ever since - just like he was before that. her website will have many good tips. good luck, i know how frustrating that is.

If she wakes up, tell her she has to go back to her bed. If she says she's sick and you are sure she's not, tell her so. If she is sick, take care of whatever she requires. If she says she's scared, go to her room w/ her.

I would use a positive reward system. My daughter started getting scared after our second was born, and I used to tell her I would be back in 5 minutes to check on her. Then, I would go in and praise her and tell her I'd be back in 10 mins, etc. She felt safe knowing I was coming back and in the morning she would get a prize. It probably took 2-3 weeks before she was back to sleeping in her bed without anxiety. Good luck!