Breaking a Bad Habit - Attleboro,MA

If it's working, don't worry about it. My daughter slept with me as an infant, and as a toddler, transitioned to her own bed.

I got more sleep letting my children sleep with me when they wanted to. I think they needed the cuddling/closeness.

It's not a bad habit, it's a perfectly valid sleeping choice used by many families, particularly those who have two working parents. I never intended to be a co-sleeper but I co-slept with all of my kids when they were babies because it's what worked best for us. I was able to breastfeed with ease and get a good night's sleep.

If the co-sleeping works for you, don't worry about it. She really won't stay in your bed forever. If you find that you're not getting enough rest this way, or you feel like it's not safe or whatever then that's another issue but please don't feel like you have to do things the hard way because you think this is a "bad habit." It's not. It's fine.

I can't give any advice on how to break the habit because I'm in the same boat as you, but I'm of the opinion that it's not a 'bad' habit and doesn't necessarily need to be broken unless it's just not working for you. My daughter started sleeping with us for the same reasons you have...because it's just easier. But, as the years have passed, I am really happy with the situation because it gives us all some much needed one-on-one time to snuggle and focus on her. She is away from us all day and when we get home we are busy rushing around with dinner and baths and laundry,etc and I'm not able to give her my undivided attention...until bed time. That's our special time together to talk about her day, her feelings, and whatever else it is she wants to talk about. It makes her feel safe and secure and loved to be able to fall asleep next to us and honestly, it makes me feel better too. Eventually, she will grow up and not 'need' me anymore at night and will start sleeping in her own bed. She will move to her own bed in her own time... when she's ready and when she's comfortable doing it. But until then, I'm going to relish every precious moment of our snuggle time.

I don't think it's a bad habit. It works for you now, there are ways to break it later. Do what works for you.

There are a gazillion things you said before you had kids that you will reverse your stance on. I recall, for one, loudly proclaiming that I would never tell my kids, "Because I SAID so!" lol.

I don't think it's bad. We co-slept with all 3 of our babies and they still love to cuddle and snuggle with us...they are 6, 8, and 10. But to each their own!

When we had to break my daughter, she was about 14 months old. My husband took her into the guest room and got her to sleep in there until he transitioned to her room. He slept on the floor with her holding his hand for a few nights and then she was fine.

Both of my boys wanted their own space pretty early. My 8 year old was in his crib full-time by 7 months and the baby was 4 months or so. It won't last forever!

You didn't say how old she is, but according to another post of your's, she's 8 months now. That means she can stand up in her crib. So sorry you didn't stop doing this earlier.

If you are going to do what your husband recommends, then you might as well just co-sleep with her. If you two get up in the middle of the night to try to put her back to asleep over and over, she will run you two ragged and NEVER learn to put herself back to sleep. She is in the habit of waking up and that's not going to change until she has no reason to wake up anymore. The way to give her no reason to is to stop going in and preventing her from putting herself back to sleep.

It's hard. She wants what she wants no matter how much it exhausts you. She's going to cry for it too. The best thing you can do is let her cry it out. If you cannot stomach laying in your bed listening to her cry, then spend a miserable week sitting on the floor beside her crib with your hand in between the slats, touching her leg. That will make her lay down to be closer to you, rather than standing up crying. If you do NOT talk to her, look at her, engage with her, if you do NOT pick her up AT ALL, sitting in the floor just touching her will make it so that she gets tired of all the crying, realizes that nothing she will do is going to get her picked up, and she will finally drop off to sleep.

You have to be 100% consistent. If you give up at all and pick her up, you will have ruined any headway you would get.

Make a conscience decision with your husband and then do what you decide on. Either she co-sleeps, or she only sleeps in the crib. This is the only thing that's going to prevent you from total exhaustion.

I don't think it's a bad habit. I enjoy snuggling with the kids. Once she's able to walk in on her own and can just climb in and you don't even have to wake up.

If she's waking consistently at the same time she may be hungry. I always give the kids a before bed snack. Something that won't cause them to be gassy so no broccoli and cheese left over from dinner...lol.

I usually do a good protein then a small serving of complex carbohydrate.

Left over spaghetti, a meat sandwich on a good wheat bread, a grilled cheese, something that won't upset their tummy and won't sit like a rock all night, something yummy and special and good for them.

This way it's takes time for their tummy to digest it all the way and this should help little ones sleep more solid.

I offer the kids either a meal or a snack every 3-4 hours. In child care we aren't supposed to let them go without food more than 3 hours. Infants and toddlers are more fed when their hungry but the toddlers work to get on the same feeding schedule as the rest of the building so the cook isn't making several meal/snacks extra per day just for one group. So this is my habit.

I suggest you try and find out why she's waking so much. It could be her age, kids go through phases every few weeks in infancy, every couple of months for toddler age, and pre-schoolers every 3-5 months.

If they're still in a crib I assume she's under 18 months. So she's likely waking up hungry or thirsty.

Our solution was to get a king-size bed and a rail for one said and put me in the middle. I get to tend to baby throughout the night, and my husband and I have contact with each other. In our minds, there are other benefits, as well.

I brought my kids to bed in the middle of the night until they were weaned, 18-20 months.
Once they were weaned they slept through the night most of the time so it was never a "bad habit" for us.
On the contrary, our kids never had any bedtime or sleeping issues at all.

You work, you need sleep, it is fine. Everyone does it at one point! She won't come in forever. You have to choose your battles. My kids used to show up during the night. There were four of them lol. We all survived and they grew up well adjusted lol.

I don't really think that's a bad habit! Unless your more disturbed by her coming in. But it sounds like she goes right back to sleep and you all get more sleep than bringing her back and waiting for her to get back to sleep. My 4 yr old comes in our bed in the middle if the night and I love having her :)

This is not a bad habit unless it's causing you to be tired.

You don't say how old your daughter is, but my 3 year old still cycles through needing an adult with him (I have 3 sons; he's the youngest). You can take turns getting her back to sleep, or you can cuddle if it works for you and your family.

When I was worn out from co-sleeping, we transitioned our youngest to a toddler bed, and my husband stayed with him until he fell asleep, because he was still nursing, and if he was with me, getting him into his own bed wouldn't have worked. He slept alone just fine until recently, when he started having bad dreams.

In the big scheme of things, this time is short. If you want to co-sleep, do it safely, and don't worry about it. If you don't want to co-sleep, brace yourself for the tears, and do what you need to do.

Hey Everyone,
thank you so much for the answers and advice. Its nice to know that so many other people do or have done it. She will be 8 months next Wednesday, I know she is not waking up because she is hungry cause the min I pick her up she puts her head down and goes back to sleep but if I put her in the crib then she wakes up again and cries, when I put her in my bed she stays asleep. she likes to be in-between my husband and I being able to touch us both. Neither of us mind that she ends up there because I love snuggling with her and my husband doesn't get to see her all day like I do (she's at work with me) so he likes to have that time with her to. I just want her to be able to get use to her crib and sleeping without us. With our busy schedules its nice to also have some alone time with the hubby!!! lol. However, last night she stayed in her crib all night didn't wake up once.
Lets see how tonight goes :)

google "sleep training"

If you are looking for a compromise..

A. Either , just take her to the living room for a little while and hold her.. This could be enough for her for a few mins. It might not be as comfy as brining her to bed, but that is the point she will then not bother.

B. Get one of those kids couches.. put it on your floor, and put her on it. She is near you but you all have your space.

C. Or just carryon how you are.. :)

I often let my kids in, in the middle of the night. I figured I was doing pretty good getting them to at least fall asleep in their own beds. I usually don't sleep as well so eventually me or my husband would put them back in their bed before morning.
I don't think its a big deal. They are only young once :)