Boy Breaking books--Book Fairy Needs Help Deciding What to Do

He's not ready for regular books. There are lots of great board books out there, including versions of classic story books. Let him use board books for another year and listen to stories and he'll learn!

I wouldn't get rid of any books yet. I would put them all away but maybe five then each week he goes without breaking a book return more. If he regresses then remove the books again. My daughter went through the same thing, now she is 5 and takes good care of her book and enjoys listening to how some of the books got broken. She says "I know better now. I was only a baby with a temper."

Well, the 'Book Fairy' could write him another note- but maybe the 'Book Fairy' who he never actually sees, is a little too distant for him to feel she is a real threat, lol!
I think the Mom Fairy might need to take over from here- just tell him what you would have put into the note. I would take the books away and ONLY bring them out for when you read TO him or read together and make it clear to him that YOU will have to hold the books. Same deal at the library.

Some kids just go through this book phase- and some never do! I don't think at his age money will mean much, but your idea of taking him somewhere, getting some books and having him donate them might be good. Just keep being consistent about what you do. Honestly, I think maybe the Book Fairy, although it was a sweet idea, might just be confusing the issue at this point- or at least, not convincing him to stop. Maybe he thinks if he does it again, he will catch the BF leaving him another note and see her! Good luck!

Me, I'd probably remove all the books and visit the library for a while.

I'd explain he can't take care of his books nicely, so he can't have them; that you two will visit the library and borrow books for a while so he can learn how to take care of books. People tend to take care of things that aren't theirs.

Once he's shown he can be nice to books, he can start receiving his own again.

Take heart, my kids went through an awful phase with books. Now she is a fervent reader :)

I think books are not the issue, the issue is that the tantrums need to be treated. And apparently he knows the book breaking bothers people so he does that, or they are just too darn handy. Let's for instance say it wasn't a book, but something else. Think about what you would do then. He needs a moment to chill and then a real consequence. At age three, books are important to him, but I have a hunch they are more important to the book fairy, who put money, effort and time into acquiring them for the little person. My advice is to a)put the books out of the way of reach and b) react quickly and realistically to the actual issue: if you are in a question about what that is, think about what actually just happened. At any rate, the consequences should be something he actually gets that moment. I hate saying time outs, but a lot of kids really do not want them. And not long ones. Very short is good enough. Perhaps less than a minute even. Next is take the books away most definitely, hide them or way up high and do not give him access to them. Think of all the other ways you can let him have a consequence for his actions. It is not so much about what we think it's about what you see will help him remember and what will protect him in the future. And telling him you won't go to Disneyland won't work either as he is probably not very familiar with Disneyland. Think of it, they do not give licenses to people who do not obey rules, or follow laws. That is an end result of what we begin to teach children every day. Acknowledge his anger yes, follow through,follow through on your consequences all the time.

LOVE LOVE LOVe the book fairy idea. Also Hazel has some great suggestions.

This is a tough one. You don't want to overly punish (ie- taking away Christmas presents or money.) Making him give away the books-- well, at this young age, he's not going to understand.

Here is what I would do:
The Book Fairy will write a letter today about how she is concerned for him.She wants him to have his books, and she also knows that we have to take care of the books. So she's decided to make you the Keeper of the Books. For the next while, she's asking *you* (mom) to keep all the books put up, and to please give him the books when he wants to see them, one at a time. When he's done with one book, it needs to be put away before another one can come out. And yes, if it's dinnertime or you are busy, the "library is closed, and will be open later".

If it were me, I wouldn't discriminate between valuable and less-valuable books. This is too arbitrary at his age, and the goal is for him not to rip ANY books.

The Book Fairy wants to peek back in on your family in a while and also see that he's learning how to take care of himself in safe ways when he's mad. Breaking books is one way to express anger, but there are also safer ways. This sounds secondary, but it needs to be your first focus: helping him find more appropriate ways to express his anger. Some of this can be done with empathetic language from you, so he knows that *you* know how upset he is. Some of this can be done by giving good boundaries and redirection (soft cloth balls to throw when we are mad-- Mr. Rogers has some great videos on this subject "What Do You Do With The Mad That You Feel?", and while I'm not a big fan of TV for kids, do highly recommend this.)When he wants to hit, he can choose playdough or a pillow. If he wants to rip something, he can ask for old newspapers.

And yes, you should repair the broken books. Have him sit with you when you do this. He can hold/pass you the tape. Explain that the Book Fairy needs him to help you fix the mistakes he's made. If the book is beyond repair, "wow, this is sad. We won't be able to fix this one." He'll get to see the damage firsthand. Overall, though, the focus should be on helping him find safer ways to express his anger. The preservation of the books is ultimately secondary. I do understand your pain, too, as I am a huge book-lover. It's difficult to see our children being thoughtless/careless with them. Let's hope the book fairy can peek in around January and see that kiddo has found new ways to show he's mad, so that he can have his books back as a self-serve item, instead of having to wait for you to do it for him.

Lastly, you could let your son know that until he's ready to show you that he's careful with the books, no real library books, period. I wouldn't bring it up as a punishment, but if he asks to check out books at the library when you are there for yourself, simply explain that when he's being careful with books *all the time*, then you will know that he's ready to borrow a book again. This might make an impression--that other people really don't want their property damaged.

He's three. He's not ready for regular books.
Fabric/cloth books are perfect. These are great for little kids. They are sturdy. You can wash them. They are almost indestructible.
If he's getting better, then graduate to some card board books.
For now, he can only see the valuable books when you read them to him.
Let him know you value books and he hurts your feelings if he damages books.
http://www.amazon.com/Squishy-Turtle-Friends-Cloth-Books/...