Both Boys Want Same Toy, Do I Buy 2 - Bowie,MD

Sharing is an important skill, but sometimes it is nice to feel like you have something special that is just for you.

I would make it a joint Christmas present with both their names on the package. Its probably a toy that would be fun to play with together anyway and it is geared more for the older child but the younger child would still feel like a big kid especially witht he older one to show him how to use it. Sometimes its fun to share and its a good way to learn how. That's what my parents did and it was fine. On the few things they did buy doubles of it was a small item and similar but not usually the exact same, that way I could borrow his and he could borrow mine and it was like buying both of us 2 new things. Good luck

If you want to sow the seeds of competition and hatred between your sons early, just buy one. The older one will take it away from the younger one and the younger one will cry causing your intervention. At that point you have two kids thinking, "Mom didn't buy me my own so she loves me less," and "Mom always sides with him because he's the baby. Why did she have him anyway - she already had me!"

I know you have those warm fuzzy feelings about your boys being close and willingly sharing but this is the real world. You, to a large extent, control whether they will EVER feel that way but expecting it of two egocentric toddlers is unrealistic. If the kids feel emotionally crowded or are thrown into a situation where they must compete then nothing good will come of it.

Buy two and put their names on them with a sharpie day one. If you cannot afford two maybe you should not buy one at all.

About me: I have been a mom for 27 years.

Rocky the Robot is for ages 3 and up. So give it to the older boy and get a more age appropriate similar toy truck for the younger one. If the younger one has questions, explain that he's not old enough. Ask the older boy to allow the younger one to play with it, under supervision.

As for the general question of two toys versus one to share, I'd say share if possible, but you have to judge each situation. For instance, they'd each need their own baseball glove, but could share Candyland.

I'm leaning towards no, buy one, and let teach them how to be thoughtful to each other by sharing... I have 3 boys and though at times it does seem like it would be much easier to get them two of the same toy, taking the smooth and easy road isn't always the way to go. I've always told them that by picking and having one different toy each and sharing them they get double the toys. I won't lie it's taken them a while to get it, but finally the 2 older ones are accustomed to taking turns and sharing and actually think it's a waste to get two of the same, which really it is, specially when they change their minds sooo often about what they like and don't like. I'm getting them both two big presents this christmas totally different, but I know they both will enjoy them immensely ... now the little one, he's not quite there yet! either way it's more of a point we try to get across and a lesson on how you can't always have everything you want and need to compromise it's not meant to be seen as a punishment. Good luck!

I agree with buying to, just for sanity purposes. Also, for sanity purposes, wrap them up, and have the boys open them at the EXACT same time!!

M.

hi Stephanie,
i have 4 boys. we have always tryed to keep things fair among our boys. to keep jealousicity issues from araising its ugly head. what we did when the boys wanted the same toy, we would try to find it somewhere else cheaper or we would find a toy to match it. do you know what i mean? good luck.
C.

I say make them share - kids outgrow toys and wreck them too fast to waste your money buying the exact same thing for both kids - I would buy them each something else and then make the robot one from Santa - that way the Santa one could be for both boys....most likely they won't want to play with it at the same time any way - and they can always use it in a neutral room so they don't feel ownership....or give them certain days that they can keep it in their room and then switch. Both of my kids wanted the same book, so I bought one and they alternate reading it...in that instance I gave it to my son because it was his birthday, but told him he had to share, so he gave it to his sister when he was done with it and then took it back when she was done with it - they read it over and over again(they love the Wimpy Kid saga...haha).

Well my opinion is that I would think about if the two is really going to play with it or not. My two older ones are not that far apart in age but one is girl and one is boy. We also have almost two year old and I am not really sure what Rocky the Robot does but mine loves anything carish or robotish that makes sounds( I have no idea what the toy you are deciding about does though. I prob. would buy that if he is maybe an older two not really sure but every opinion helps in some way right...good luck and hope ya have a good Christmas!

I think this would be a good learning to share experience.

www.elephantsandgiraffes.com

Well, Stephanie, I have to agree (in part) with Chritine. In order to keep the jealousy at bay, if you can find them at a lesser price and buy 2 it would be good. They will indeed argue over it and the robot is a hot item among boys. Younger children always want what the older one wants, it's the rule. I know this is the most frustrating time of year to make a decision...I would suggest, if there is a sale on these robots, get 2! It will be adorable to watch both of them play with it on Christmas morn...Good Luck!

R.

Yes, to save your sanity buy two if you can. I mark the bottom of the toy with a marker so they can tell they have their own toy. Time will be spent playing together instead of fighting. I know sharing is an important part of life, but at 4 and 2, it is ok for them not to share special toys and have "mine".

Hello,
I have too boys also and I am faced with the same decisions. My boys are 10 and 5. I don't by the exact same toys. I may by similiar for example one got a DS for my 5 year old and a PSP for my 10 year old because of their age difference. In your case, I think you should hold off on buying Rocky the Robot for your two year old. You may try to get him something similar that may be less expensive or another toy that he really wants. I think he may want it just because his big brothers wants it. I hope this was helpful.

i have the same problem i have a 4yr old and a 2 yr old so ya when i was a kid my parents did it for me and my sister which are two yrs apart and we didnt have a problem with it i mean at least they wont fight over them so ya i would i am this year for they wont fight over it it makes it easier for us stay at home moms to and then the younger one feels bigger when he or she sees they a have the same toy as bigger brother or sister. if possible get them i two differt colors

Obviously there are some things you need to buy 2 of...bicycles, helmets, etc, but this is not one of those things. I would bet that the younger boy is just repeating what he hears his brother say. You could make it a joint gift or choose something really special for your younger son-maybe even a smaller robot or similar toy from the same line. My boys are 2 years apart and, of course, you have the moments when they both NEED the same toy at the same time, but I think you'll regret spending so much on the 2 robots when they are both left forgotten. Good luck to you (I fondly remember when my boys were 2 & 4-such sweet ages! :)

I guess it depends on where this toy fall son their lists. Is this THE toy for this Christmas. And is it likely they will play together with them? then I say buy 2. But I would avoiid the concept of avoiding arguments by buying multiples of things. I don't know this toy, but I suggest that you buy one for both of them - joint gift - and make them share it. I wouldn't give it to one, if both say they want it. IF sharing is a problem, the toy goes away - simple. Or set up a schedule of play for it (like alternating 30 minute periods). If it becomes clearly a favorite, then you can always buy another.

We're in a similar situation. My girls are 8 and 6, and I bought my 8 year old a digital camera at Walmart on Black Friday. It's a nice camera, not too expensive though ($69). Both of my girls like to take my camera and snap pictures around the house, but I just think my 8 year old is more ready for a camera of her own. I'm a little worried about Christmas morning though, afraid my 6 year old will be disappointed. So I bought her something I know she'll love - and both gifts can be shared even though they'll technically belong to one girl or another. If my little one is disappointed I'm just going to have to tell her she needs to learn that she'd younger and she won't always get what her sister gets at the same time. Big sister also got a hamster when she turned 7, and my little one is waiting with baited breath to get her pet on her 7th birthday. I think it's a good lesson, even though it's hard at the time :)

Oh no. They'll both want to play with it at EXACTLY the same time. Is the the MATCHBOX Rocky the Robot Truck? Robots can be anything these days. For a 4 yr old, ok. For a 2 yr old, it might be a bit ahead of his age range, but he'll grow into it as his brother grows out of it. For the 2 yr old, go with a Tonka truck (which is about half the price of the robot), needs no batteries, washes up with a hose after a dusty session in the sand pile, etc. I guarantee you, after the novelty of the talking robot wears off, they'll both want the Tonka truck. They trouble with anything with batteries is they wear out fast (what kid remembers to turn them off?), they make too much noise (stickers over the speakers help with that), and if you forget to remove the dead batteries, you can get battery acid problems when you finally do remove them. For my sister and me (22 months apart in age), if we wanted the same things, Mom would get us different colors of the same item if the price was reasonable. This was easy enough with dolls and such.
Additional Comments:
How did marketing get to your kids? TV? Just before Thanksgiving, start watching less TV (or more DVD's - has WAY fewer commercials) and keep the live TV watching to a bare minimum from November through end of December. After New Year's the sales pitches fall way off.

I have 3 year old twin girls. Although they are good (sometimes) about sharing toys, there are certain things we have two of...quite a number of things we have two of. Not so much for them...but for our sanity!! We have a brother and sister in law that just roll their eyes that we would consider purchasing two of something. But they only have one kid, so they don't quite understand (that should change in the near future for them). But honestly, there are certain things the girls are not required to share, like the teddy or bunny they sleep with. Those toys are off limit. However, I would by the two if you want any semblence of peace on Christmas morning. Of course be prepared...that even though tere are two of the "exact" item...one of the kids will only want the one the other kid has and the "other same item" is not good enough. I can't explain it, I don't understand it, but it's bound to happen.

if they're both CRAZY for it i'd say buy 2, it'll save a lot of frustration as they'll both want to play with it at the same time. however, if you're not really sure about the younger one's desire for it, i'd probably go with something different but really cool for the younger one. love the tonka truck idea. they are indestructible and most boys love them.
khairete
S.