Boss Finally Fired Lazy, Whiny Coworker and She Asked Me for a Reference

In my jobs, we refer anyone calling to the HR dept or the boss. In my last job, we just told the person calling that we could not give out any info and they could call so and so for emplyment info.

I would talk to HR in this case, since she's considering hiring a lawyer. Then you can have the official line to give someone in the event that they do call. I would no longer take her calls.

I think the response here about forwarding the calls to her supervisor are wise. But without having a law degree, I don't think you can be sued for saying the truth if you were not in a position of authority with this person. Nevertheless if you politely decline to give a response the caller with get the gist pretty quickly. The other option is to give them the number to HR. I know I've worked at places where NO-ONE but HR was allowed to provide reference information. Good luck.

I had something similar happen to me years ago. I found it difficult because although I liked this girl personally, she was a lousy employee. When the call came, I just referred it up to my supervisor. Of course, they pressed me for more, but I just kept repeating that I was not allowed to give out any information and they would need to talk to my superiors. She considered me a friend, and I could not in good conscious sabotage her by creating obvious negative tone in my voice, so I kept it very professional. It doesn't hurt to be the better person and let this girl at least have the chance to start over. I like to believe that everyone can learn from getting fired and take the next opportunity to not make the same mistakes.

You legally can't tell people the 'truth' or bad mouth them in references. All you have to say is "Yes, I worked with her and I have no further comment on her performance." You can say you would not recommend her for the position they are asking about if they ask for a recomendation. The statement you are using is pretty overboard and the employer will get the message without you going that far, no need to be rude. Hanging up on a future employer calling for a reference is incredibly immature and a waste of their time, they are doing nothing wrong, so why punish them.

You can always refer the call to HR. Say "We have been instructed to have all reference calls routed through our HR department. I cannot give you any inforamtion on the (employee name) at this time".

End the conversation as polite and considerate as possible.

I wouldn't automatically hang up on the person calling for the reference. If someone calls you specifically asking if you'll be her reference, then you simply say, "Yes, my name is M. N. but no, I will not give a positive personal or business reference for Whackadoodle Ding Dong. It's against company policy to discuss past employees unless it's to confirm their past employment."

The thing with potential new employers is that when they call old employers they can't ask personal questions about the fired/quit/old employee. They're only supposed to ask if the person ever worked there, if they held such-and-such position, if they worked there during a specific time frame, if they worked their scheduled hours. And the person answering is only obligated to give yes or no responses. "Yes, she was my coworker from August 2008 until October 14th 2011." "I'm sorry, I can't confirm for you if she quit or was fired. If you need more details here's the number for our manager/Human Resources Department."

The perfect answer if anyone calls is "she would not be eligible for re-hire with our company", and leave it at that. Most HR people know that means they were a lousy employee.

Just say no comment when they call. That will let them know what you feel without you having to say anything. From the point of view of someone who has to call references, this would be appreciated instead of being hung up on. It isn't the fault of the checker that she gave your name. It would also stop them from trying again to contact you.

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If anyone calls for a reference, just say you are not in a position to give a reference and ask if they would like to speak to your supervisor. If they press, just hang up. They'll get the message. If you had good things to say, you'd say them. Since you decline to anything, that says a lot!

If anyone calls you as a reference just tell them your mother taught you that if you have nothing nice to say you should say nothing at all and on that basis you have nothing to say.
It's not positive, but it's not negative and no one can hold it against you.

A friend of mine who used to own his own business was advised by his lawyer to say things such as "Yes, he did work here" and "yes, that was in his job description" when faced with this kind of situation. Give neutral answers and excuse yourself from the conversation as soon as possible - say that you are late to a meeting. There can be legal ramifications to giving a bad reference so be careful!

If she's stupid enough to put your name down anyway then I'd be honest, speak with HR first to see if you can get into trouble giving an "honest" answer (especially since she's trying to sue?).. Odds are if you tell the truth the employer calling will not tell her what you said but I'd definitely be honest, let them know what kind of person they are hiring.

It's just common courtesy to ask someone if you can use them as a reference. If she choses to list you she has every right to do so, and she does not need your permission.

If you should be contacted by a perspective employer, by hanging up or saying "I did not give her permission", just makes you look like an $#*. A professional response would be "It would be best if you spoke directly with her manager, would you like his contact information?". If the perspective employer is looking for your opinion, simply state "I prefer not be be used as a reference" or "I found it very difficult to work with her".

I agree with Momma. Any place I ever worked, we were told not to give any kind of reference. We could only verify employment and the length of it.

It is a liability issue.

I wouldnt hang up on the person because they have no idea why you would be doing that and thats not fair to the person calling but I would for sure explain the situation. That she asked you for a reference and you said no and that it was not okay for her to use your name - you dont need to and shouldnt talk negatively about this person but you certainly have no obligation to talk them up or to get them another job

Do not hang up on the caller. In situations like this, I usually ask what they position that they are applying to is and then say: "I cannot recommend this person for that position". There is no nee to give specifics. What I definitely do not do in these situations is to give a letter of recommendation.

Do not say anything negative even if it is true.....Either give neutral answers as listed in some of the other posts or simply screen your calls and do not answer if you know the person is calling for the reference. A prospective employer trying to reach you but never can gets the hint pretty quickly.

Talk to HR regarding protocol as well as your boss. Then upon their advice follow their instructions. By law you may not be permitted to say anything derrogotory about her even if it is true.

On what grounds would she sue you. Anti-defamation suits are won based on the person telling lies. You're safe telling the truth.

I suggest that you not hang up. That's rude. I agree with you that you say you're not willing to give her a reference.

The law stating that you can only give the dates of employment or that you worked with her applies only to employers. You can tell the truth or not. It's your choice.

You cannot say she's ineligible for re-employment if you're not the Human Resources person.

Yeah, I wouldn't. If she puts you down as a reference, then be honest when they call or if you don't have time, tell them you're not a reference and you don't have time to answer questions. You don't owe her anything and I wouldn't bother with her any longer. Some people are clueless. Good luck!!

I would just say I would prefer not to be a reference. Saying you didn't give permission could be twisted into saying negative things about her.

You don't want to give her anything she can try to sue you over. Even if she is not successful it is time consuming and sometimes expensive.

If she is using you as a personal reference then you can say whatever you want as long as it is truthful. If it is a reference via the company, then HR only should be the contact. The only information we give here is date of hire and eligibility for rehire. That's it and HR is the only one to answer those questions.

Go with the hubs advice. She isn't worth your energy.