Books on Friendship and Feelings for Third Grader

The "American Girl" book series is great for this age.
They have one on friends and on emotions etc.
Just Google search it. You can find it at any bookstore or online.

It is meant to be read by the child and with the Mom.

ALSO though, it is something that needs to be 'taught' to the child, by the parent.

I have talked to my kids, since they were 2 years old, about "friends"... and how to 'DISCERN' people and their intentions... and their behavior.
My kids, know what is right/wrong, mean/nice... and what is "drama."

My daughter is now 8 & in 3rd Grade too. But she is a WISE thinker, about friends and who to befriend or not. She CHOOSES her friends and is not a "follower." She also knows HERSELF... which is a KEY thing, for a child to know. IF they know themselves, and are themselves, then this helps them to navigate... around and amongst, problem kids or 'drama' kids.

Luckily, my daughter has always chosen, nice stable girlfriends. If an icky girl tries to be mean, she speaks up and all her friends rally around each other. Or they will tell the Teacher.
There was one girl, that was... a really pushy attention seeking trouble-maker that liked my Daughter. My Daughter just did not engage with that girl and used neutral but firm talk with her. Distancing herself from that girl. As my Daughter explained it to me, she said: "Mommy, Sally is always trying to be one-up over somebody and makes sassy comments and she is selfish.... I don't like her, she gets in trouble too. She tries to get other kids to do trouble too, for her, to other kids. I know what she is up to."
This was, when my daughter was in 1st grade. She already 'knew' what that girl, was about. And she was right. I was proud of her.

So, you also have to teach your child, about people. And intentions. And about 'discerning' other kids/situations. And how to speak up, and/or tel the Teacher if it is a problem. And to tell, you, as a Mom.

You teach a child, about people, and friends and how to choose.
Thus... they will gain skills and aptitude, in how to NAVIGATE... in social situations. That is key.

All the Chicken Soup books are awesome for kids. Chicken Soup For The Pre-Teen Soul?

:)

I am going through the same thing right now. I have purchased the American Girls books. They are great about telling how to be a good friend, but not as clear about what to do when your friends are treating you badly. I do recommend them, but they aren't going far enough in my case.

I just started "Little Girls Can Be Mean", and already liking it. It talks about exclusion as a bullying tactic, and how you can work with her daughter to teach her to brainstorm and solve her own problems, with your guidance. It is especially written for grades K-6. There are a lot of real life examples, and just reading them with my daughter has been good for us.

That she is making good decisions is awesome, and that they are hard ones is inevitable. A book won't help that go away. As this book says, the goal is not to shield her from all her problems, but to prepare her for them. Sounds like you are already doing a great job with that.

Good luck, and feel free to message me to chat further.
L.

We are working through the Christian Girl's Guide to Friendship. It is good, but the last chapters are over her head and will be great for 5th grade. It gives specific examples of behavior and has the girl pick who was being a friend.

0) is there any way you can request a different teacher if you say your child is being bullied by those girls? This year was great until the kids realized the teacher was too lazy to do anything about bullying.

Hi T.-

I am sorry your daughter is experiencing this. Unfortunately, this time of year (between Spring Break and end of school) is a horrible time for girls. A teacher warned me about it when my 13 year old was in 1st grade and I've watched it happen to my girls every year since. The girls get nasty, clique-ish and look for reasons to exclude each other. Its amazing to watch the dynamics unfold.

There is a wonderful book called Simon's Hook by Karen Burnett which deals with teasing and age appropriate ways to respond. You and your daughter will find a lot of useful techniques.

Keep telling your daughter how much you support her and admire her choices. Remind her you are there to listen and will get involved if she wants you to. Just knowing you 'have her back' will help her feel strong.

As for next year, don't stress about it now. Usually the beginning of the year is pretty mild but watch out this time next year.

I don't know about other books (outside of the American Girl ones you mentioned) other than the Bible, lol. But the best thing you could probably do is just keep talking with your daughter. It makes my own heart swell with pride when one of my kids makes a hard choice about their friendships. Talk talk talk (just don't harp, lol). My son is going to be a teen this year, and when I hear him with his friends talking I don't want to be eavesdropping, but I want to know what they are discussing for insight into their minds/thoughts/personalities and character. When I hear something that sounds "iffy" I talk to my son about it later and in private. I don't tell him what to do-- just discuss the different scenarios and how he would feel "if" sort of things. I can see the wheels turning in his head, and I hear the "I know"s come out of his mouth... but he usually makes the right decision. And I'll get a random hug in a day or two.

If your daughter is a reader, maybe you could go to the library/bookstore and find some books that are stories that delve into relationship issues a little. She isn't going to be interested in a "text" about relationships, but reading a "story" about some fictional characters and things they encounter and how they deal with them can be helpful. Especially if you take the time afterwards to ask her about the book. And talk "what if"s with her afterwards.

hth

Hi T.! I am sorry that your daughter is feeling the pain of the age! I don't look forward to that era with my own daughter. I don't know if they might be too young for her, but the Francis books deal a lot with treating friends fairly and dealing with hurt feelings. In "A Bargain for Francis" her friend tricks Francis into buying her old plastic tea set (Francis really wants a porcelain one) and then her friend goes and buys the fancier set for herself. If she has a younger sibling to read to, the Francis books can open up great conversations if you think they are too easy. Another good author is Judy Blume (Freckle Juice and Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing are especially appropriate for the younger kids). Blubber also deals with peer pressure, but I can't remember how old the protagonist of the story is or who is teasing her. How to Eat Fried Worms I believe also deals with peer pressure, but I can't recall the author just now.

It is not appropriate for your daughter yet, but you should read the book, "Queen Bees and Wannabees". I read it when my daughter was going into 5th grade. Then I read it aloud to her the summer before 6th grade. It's interesting that one of the girls she decided to distance herself from in the 6th grade because she was a bit of a Queen Bee (took advantage of my daughter, for example telling her all the time, "we don't want to play with you today.") is now a good friend of hers in high school. And this time around, their friendship is much more balanced.

You might find there are some chapters or sections you can share with your daughter as a younger age. For my daughter reading the info about sex, drinking and drugs (going into the 6th grade) made it easier to talk about it in middle school and high school.

Good luck