Hello, Moms!
I am wondering if there any good books out there to help explain divorce to young children? My husband of 2 years told me just before Thanksgiving that 'his heart just isn't in it anymore' and that 'he doesn't want to be counseled by anyone'. It's been a while, and I'm woking on the day to day stuff, but things are getting to the point that I have to tell our daughter something. My parents are still married after 46 years, and his are still together after 38, so I can't really turn to any of them for help expalining this situation to her.
I'd really appreciate any suggestions that anyone can make. Please, if you don't have anything nice to say about my situation, let it be. I'm only looking for book titles.
Thank you!
Thanks for all of the support and great responses! I've been dealing with a lot between work and home, and just trying to take each day as it comes. I am looking into the local churches (anyone know about Woodside Bible Church?) for support groups. My soon to be ex's sister has actually been an amazing resource. She's going through the same thing right now. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason, and my amazing daughter was the reason for her dad to come along. Now that she's well on the right path, it's going to be ok if he's not around.
I know that she and I are going to be ok.
E.,
YOU CAN DO THIS. Women are born to be mothers, not necessarily wives. I was divorced with a newborn, a 2 year old, a 6 year old AND a 9 year old. Take comfort in the support you receive around you and especially...ask for help, and take it.
Oh E., I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I felt compelled to just respond to let you know that you can do it! You seem to be so strong, I hope you know that all will be okay (hard to realize being that it's so new).
Try Amazon.com they're so many books that I'm sure you can choose from. A friend of mine found a ton of books (for explaining STD's, sex, dealing with a new baby, death, and everything else) for kids. I haven't heard back from her on the actual title, but that's where she goes for her book searches, and google.com that is. At least if you do that, then you can either order it from there, or contact Barnes and Noble to see if they may carry the book.
I hope this helped you in some way, though it wasn't what you initially asked for. Stay strong, and encouraged and maybe you need someone to talk to as well. I'm sure that you can still talk to your parents. When you feel down, pray for strength, courage, and wisdom. All things that I'm sure you posess, but you will have to rely on now more often.
Take care,
A.
Your hubby needs to man up and help you with this. After 2 years...he hasn't even tried hard enough yet. He's leaving you with the explaining and he's the one who can't get a grip?? I have been married for 34 years and many times neither of us had our "hearts in it"...marriage isn't bliss 24/7. Ups and downs are part of the deal. Have you tried any groups at your church? That could be very helpful. My heart goes out to you...be strong!
E.,
I don't have any titles for you...but I also live in Rochester. You probably already know this, but the library is great. I would ask a librarian to help you.
Good luck in your transition.
E.,
I don't have a specific book to recommend, but The Self-Esteem Shop is a great resource that we are really lucky to have in the area. It is on Woodward Ave, just south of 14 Mile on the West side of the street. They have books for kids on divorce, as well as many other topics. And if you go in and tell them what you are looking for, they will pull books for you and give you the opportunity to read them then so you know you have just what you are looking for!
Hang in there!
K.
Well I don't know of any books. Just wanted to say I'm sorry you are going through this. Just make sure your child knows that this has nothing to do with him/her and that mommy and daddy will always love him/her and will always be mommy and daddy. Good luck!!! I hope you get some good suggestions.
E.,
My church has a program for children (and adults) dealing with divorce. they meet once per week. it's called "Rainbows" you could get more information from the website: immlutheran.org, or calling the office at ###-###-####. the church is Immanuel Lutheran at 21 Mile Rd./Romeo Plank in Macomb Twp. God's blessings to you.
E.,
So sorry that you are going through a divorce. I can sympathize with you since I am going through one myself. I have been married 19-1/2 yrs. I have 2 boys, an 11 and 17 year old. Even at their age it was a HUGE concern to me how to explain this to them. I did go to therapist, but for other reasons also. I do know that if you call a counseling center they can suggest some wonderful titles to look for. Also, I know that B.Dalton has some good ones too. I am sorry I cannot throw a specific one out there for you, but they do exist. I was told not to go into too much detail the younger they are. And to reassure them that Daddy and Mommy still and will always love THEM. That will never change. Good luck to you. I know it is hard and tears your heart apart, but you will get through it and be ok.
Hi E.,
I'm so sorry to hear about your divorce. This is a difficult time for you and I respect the fact you're seeking ways to reach out to your little one so he/she can understand what's going on with you and daddy, and not feel it is his/her fault. I went through a divorce when my children were very young. My son was 2 1/2 and my daughter just a few months old (when I left but actually one when the divorce was final.) A therapist made me aware of an awesome little place called "The Self -Esteem Shop" on Woodward Avenue, I think in Royal Oak but I can't remember for sure. We went there and I found a lot of wonderful ways to talk to my children about what was happening (the divorce) and their feelings. One book in particular that the kids and I still refer to and have fond memories is called "IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT KOKO BEAR"..I'll google the info and forward that to you too. It does an excellent job talking about divorce, that daddy is moving out and reassuring the little one that it's not their fault. You can even buy the little stuffed matching "KO KO Bear" for the kids to hold and cuddle with as you go through the book. I'd highly recommend this book. Let me end for now so I can send you more info. on this book and the Self Esteem Shop. Their staff are very helpful, it's a quiet little place and you'll feel some relief yourself after being in there a bit. You are not alone!! Divorce is difficult but you and your child will get through this. You're a great mom for wanting some outside input too. Have a great day! M. M. Ok....take a look at their website. They do have the book still!! Let me know if you need any help or just want someone to talk to. M. M.
http://www.selfesteemshop.com/cgi-bin/quikstore.cgi?store...=
I don't know much on this subject either. I am really sorry that you and your family will be going through this. I also live in Rochester Hills and attend a church named Kensington who offers classes to both adults and children going through this tough time of divorce. Here is a little more information I pulled off Kensington's website about help in this area:
Beyond Divorce
You dont have to go through the painful and stressful experience of divorce or separation alone. Beyond Divorce is a 10-week divorce recovery workshop combining expert teachers followed by small group discussion. Oasis is a concurrent program for children and teens affected by divorce. For info on upcoming sessions, contact ____@____.com.
I hope this could help explain to your children what is going on or maybe Kensington can help direct you to a book if that is the approach that you are most comfortable with.
I bought Dinosaurs Divorce for my daughter 18 years ago when she was 4 years old. We read it so many times that I had it memorized. Since it's still available, I think that's a good indication how great of a book it is. My daughter told me much later in life that she used to hug that book when she was sad because it made her feel better. Good luck! In the end, with lots of love and reassurance, your kids will be just fine.
