Biting Toddler

J. -

my son did the same thing at 18 months. It didn't last long - maybe a few months - but it was a difficult thing to deal with. And embarrassing!

We just would steer him away from people that he wanted to bite. We would pull him away, we did anything to distract him and constantly told him that we don't bite other people.

I tried NOT to always say NO! because the more my son heard it, the more he tuned it out. I used other words and gave him objects to bite into (teething toys, soft toys) instead.

Some mothers told me to bite my son back when he would bite. But I never agreed with this idea. Since he's hurting others, I should hurt HIM to get him to stop hurting? It didn't make sense to me.

Realize that in a few months, it will stop. It's just very frustrating for now.

Good luck!

PS - in response to Beth's answer - my son didn't bite out of frustration. He bit because he could. It was something new for him and he joyfully did it to others, especially at play groups. I can totally see frustration playing a part with some kids - but it wasn't applicable with our son. Ahh, the joys of childhood! :o)

My daughter started biting at approx 14 mos. It only lasted about a month, because the 1 time she bit me, I bit her back. I did not hurt her, but I was firm. Once she knew that there were consequences when she bit someone, she stopped. Some people may disagree with that, and frankly I don't care, but it worked for my daughter. It depends how you feel comfortable doing it.

Time outs don't work for kids that age, and if you yell at them, well that doesn't work either. Telling them no, with no other consequences (in my experience) only taught her the word no sooner.

Good luck!

ps. Maybe your daughter is having trouble with the fact that things have changed...with a fulltime job and being a full time college student, you cannot be home much, and maybe with the new living arrangements she is having a hard time coping. Does she like your friend and her son? Also, change, any change, is hard for a child, and it may just go away once she is used to living with the new people.

Hi J.!

I agree with both Beth and Diane. My daughter did this at age one to 18 months as well and it was extremely frustrating to get calls or reports from her day care letting me know that she had harmed another child by biting. She even bit me a few times! Most children bite because they are frustrated and upset in some way and can't express those feelings with words. Others may just find it amusing and either way it needs to be addressed right away.

I work full time too and I luckily have a great day care that is also a "Learning Center" and had a GREAT day care teacher who constantly "shadowed" my daughter while she was going through this stage. She was the one who told me that you really need to follow them and watch them closely to see exactly what's setting them off and then address it accordingly.

Luckily also at this age your child should be developing some basic words like "No, I don't like that" and whenever your daughter seems to be getting upset about something or you know she is going to bite someone, tell her to "use her words". Then repeat to her and the other person (for her at first), "No, I don't like that when you take my toy!". At first you may even want to give her a toy that she can bite on made out of foam or rubber (so she doesn't hurt her teeth as well).

I hope this helps, it sure worked with my daughter! Good luck!

Toddlers bite because they don't have enough language skills to express themselves. When she bites find the reason she was frustrated and try and teach her to express herself verbally or even with hand gestures. If the four year old took her toy or isnt' sharing whatever it be have your one year old try and apologize ( I understand she can't really talk yet) and say I know so and so made you mad but you can't bite. Yes daughter I know when so and so takes your toy it makes you mad. I know this seems weird but this worked great at a inhome daycare I worked at.

i know this sounds really mean but when she bites u bite her back not hard but just enough to leave a red mark for a couple of mins. my one year old kept biting and a friend told me to do this it worked she hasnt bitten since. Good luck!

my toddler is also doing that and i dont know how to get him to stop

Hey there! Very frustrating for you and for the child, and the child's parents. I have a college degree in child care and have worked and owned both home and center daycares for 11 years. Want to know what works? Bite them back. I know, like all the others you feel horrible even suggesting it but fact of the matter is, it does work. If you want, try everything else first and when that fails, try bitting back. It has never taken more than 2x of bitting back to cure a child. FYI as providers we are not allowed to bite children so it is up to the parent to do that. Good luck!

I had the same problem with my son when he was 2. He constantly bit at daycare/family get togethers and I kept hearing that it's just a phase that kids go through, but I also felt bad for the kids who were bitten, so I was told to bite him back, but softly just so he can see how it feels to be bitten, and from then on he has never bitten again. I hope this helps. Good luck to you.