Biting - Chicago, IL

My son who is now 18 mos has gone through biting phases every time he gets new teeth. I follow the same advice as others gave -- "Ouch, don't bite! Biting hurts." I rub the area he bit and I turn my back to him and walk away from him or if he's on my lap I put him down and turn away from him. I ignore him for a short time (like a minute or two).

Sometimes he will bite when he is hungry, so if it has been a while since he ate or if he hardly ate anything at the last meal, I will ask him if he's hungry. We do sign language, so I ask "are you hungry?" and sign "eat". He will sign back "eat" and go to the kitchen if he's hungry.

I had/ have the same problem. When I mentioned it to my pediatrician he said he wasn't concerned about my son biting me (!) but him biting other kids not because it is a mean thing to do but because what he could catch from biting someone else (Hepatitis, HIV amongst other things). I hadn't thought of that, but it is a good point. There is also the fact that it is socially unacceptable to bite others! Unfortuantely he didn't have any great tips on how to stop it.

When my son bites me (and he only bites me, never anyone else), I immediately say "Ouch" and tell him that it hurts and move him right away from me, almost like time out. I don't look at him or play with him for a couple of minutes. I'm not sure he really 'gets' it, but when he comes back to me, he doesn't bite (well, until next time anyway). The other thing I have done was pretend to cry but that made him cry too, then I felt really bad! I can't say this has been very effective but he is only 11 months old so maybe he's still learning... fingers crossed!

R.

Many moms will disagree with this suggestion, but I was raised the "old school" way and that is how I am choosing to raise my own child.

My son bit me when he was around a year old. The first time I told him "no biting, biting hurts", said "ouch" and gave him a sad face. The second time he did it I bit him back -- not very hard but hard enough to make it hurt and to make him cry. I repeated "biting hurts". He cried for a minute then was fine. HE NEVER, EVER bit again. A very young child isn't going to connect "that hurts" with the pain until s/he feels it. Once my son realized that biting did huirt (because he was on the receiving end), he didnt bite people again.

Also... maybe your child is teething? My son chewed everything in sight when his molars were coming in.

My son bites when he nurses. I say "No bite, you hurt mommy" and touch his teeth and look sad, but he laughs at me! I screamed really loud the last time 'cause it hurt, and then he cried, so I'm hoping he got the picture. I'm beginning to think that my mom was right. I used to bite everyone, but I finally stopped when she bit me back!

Oh, I hear you on this. Erik use to bite and now he bites his sisters or himself. When he was young like that, I would get right down to his face and say, Erik, no biting, then point to his teeth and say teeth hurt. When he bites himself now, he bites hard and leaves marks too, and I just ignore it and so does everyone else around him, because he keeps doing it trying to get you to look at him. He never has bit anyone else or any kids though, just us. I would try that approach and it wont work right away, but being consistant with it is the key and do it every time he bites.

S. Bailey CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com

Hi,

Bite him back, let him feel that this hurts, he will stop.

J.

I know it sounds bad, but the nurse at my Dr's office suggested biting back too. My son went through this phase and I tried everything. I couldn't bring myself to do it, but my daughter bit him back. Not too hard, but hard enough he didn't like it. That was pretty much the end of his biting phase.

I have noticed when mine bite (and it is usually when I'm nursing) that my reaction to their biting is what causes them to stop. They are noticing many emotions and what happens when they do things. So, maybe if you get upset and make a noise to startle him, he will figure out that he "hurt" mommy.
Just a thought :-)

Our son did the SAME thing. At about 11-12 months he went through a phase where he would bite, but 99% of the time it was me! When I would pick him up, *chomp* on my shoulder. When I was sitting on the ground playing he'd come over and *chomp* on my leg. He didn't do this to Dad very often though. All I did was say a stern "NO!" to startle him and say, "No bite. That hurts M. when you bite." I would put him down, or get him off my lap and I would ignore him for a short time. He eventually grew out of it, in a few weeks.

I, personally, wouldn't bite him back at that age as I don't think he's doing it to be mean or hurtful to you. My husband's cousin is a social worker for young mothers and although she is STRICTLY against any sort of physical punishment, she does say to bite back. So, that's a personal decision with what you are comfortable with.

Oh, and about the daycare thing. I don't think at this age they would not let him attend. If you are concerned, talk with his teachers and the director. Sometimes, they can be a good source of information, too.