Help! My middle son, who will be 3 in November, has started biting. He's old enough to know better, but he still does it. It usually only happens when he's provoked, but recently it's happened when I'm not in the room to referee, and always with the same kid. These are not just little nibbles, these are close to drawing blood bites. We've put him in time out, we've talked with him, he's apologized, but it continues to happen. He is a high energy kid, very smart, very curious, but aggressive. He also has a high pain tollerance.
I need some advice. Please HELP!! I thank you in advance.
That is a hard one. I read the other responses and putting him in time out and give the other child full attention, where he can see it, works great if his love language is time and affection. My oldest (13 now) when he started biting I did what my Grandma did to us ..... she bit us back in the same spot .... hard! He never did it again. I am not sure if that is the best way to handle it or not.
Good luck
R.
Hi Mechelle,
You say it is always the same kid (sibling?) but then later say he's "aggressive". Does this mean his aggression takes other forms when directed to others? Are you concerned that this may spill over into other behaviors and other situations?
I would start by giving more positive attention to the injured kid (if its a sibling and you can). Less or no attention for him when he bites.
I am not sure that kids really understand the apology thing. They do it to please us more often than to say that they are sorry for what they have done. You can continue to expect and encourage that as a form...but it does give him attention from you as you prompt it from him.
Does your son like to please you? Can he be encouraged to do nice stuff to/for others and then get your attention? (Not too gushy here) My daughter pulled hair (of strangers) and I had to encourage hugs and other stuff. She switched. But now she's experimenting with pushing other kids. Another thing to work on...around.
I think you have been unlucky to get the big no-no first...BITING. You just need to make sure this does not get to be a battle of wills between you and your son. Be creative and give him tools to communicate, get attention, express anger etc. If aggression continues/expands...I'd take a look at the stresses he's under. Maybe more prof advice.
Hello, This may sound cure, but they only way we were able to stop the bitting was let the other child bite him back so he know how it feels. Our boys never bit again.
Hi Michelle and John,
I really do just start biting back when I have a biter.
First you have to make certain you are not using any form of verbal or physical violence to control him. They do what we do...so if we use violence to make a point so will they.
I don't hit or yell so, when I bite...it really impresses the kid. LOL!
The other short answer is to offer a reward for every day he does not bite.
Also, you did not say if he was biting a sibling. If he is then you may be unconsciously setting up a jelousy for him with that sib. Make sure he gets equal time and attention...that may help.
Alright Sweeties...I wish you well and lots of love and luck.
XXOO, J.
