Biter! Please Help My Daughter Before She Gets Kicked Out of Daycare

Updated on August 28, 2006
K.A. asks from Altamonte Springs, FL
7 answers

Don't know what to do, she NEVER exhibits this behavior at home only in her classroom at daycare. She just turned 2 in June. Last year's class was chaotic, didn't like the teacher. Just moved to a new classroom Aug 1 and the incidents have tapered off. She didn't attempt or bite for 4 weeks, until yesterday. Daycare will try bumping her up to the 3's even though she missed the cutoff by about 3 months, since she is very verbal and has an older sibling at home. They will try this for 2 weeks, if it doesn't work out, she's out for a month! Don't know what to do, no family in the area, we've got to go to work each day. Are they overreacting? This is normal for a 2 year old? They are suggesting a Behavioral specialist, but it seems most deal with autism and ADD. Seems a bit extreme. Are they tired of dealing with the problem? Would a smaller home daycare work better? Please HELP!!!

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So What Happened?

Thanks for the advice. I talked to a few parents also and they think the daycare is overreacting and doesn't want to do the extra work required. I called a Behavioral Therapist and they practically laughed at me. You need a physician referral for their services and they mostly deal with depression, autism, sexual abuse victims etc. She said a 2 year old biter would NOT qualify for their purposes! Well, 2 days in the "big kid" classroom and so far so good :)

More Answers

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N.W.

answers from Orlando on

Hi K.,

My daughter is 18 months and she bites now and then at daycare. At this age this is the only way kids can communicate. My daughter will bite when she feels threatened. For example, if another child tries to take a toy from her, or if someone has something she wants to play with she will bite. Try asking the daycare if they see a pattern as to when your little one bites. This can help figure out why she is biting. Most daycares should understand that kids this age bite as long as they dont break skin.

Good Luck

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A.L.

answers from Orlando on

Usually kids bite out of fustration,,,what's the ratio in her class? Are they able to keep an eye on all the kids? Can you pop in on the daycare without your dtr knowing your there so you can observe her class? Can she tell you why she bit? what's the consequence when she does bite?...and has anyone ever bitten her? Sorry I have more questions than answers right now...but this might help know why she's doing this?

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C.B.

answers from Orlando on

I too had a biter when my son was younger. From the time he was teething till he was about three he used to bite other kids ALL THE TIME! Sometimes he did it so hard he actually broke the skin. Well when I went to my Dr. she told me it was normal and the reason kids usually bite is because they are frustrated and cant tell you whats wrong. She also told me he would grow out of it. Alot of times the reason my son bit other kids was because he wasnt getting his way. Thats when I had to sit down with him and explain if he was frustrated he needed to talk to someone rather then biting and hurting someone. I wouldn't give up hope on her, she WILL grow out of it. If your daycare wont work with you then they are not that good of a daycare. I had my son in 3 different daycares (not because of biting, we moved) and out of all the kids he bit or that bit him, I never saw them kick a kid out or suspend them. In the last daycare they did move him up to an older class (ahead of his age also) and that actually helped. I hope that it will with your daughter too, if not Im sure you will find a better daycare that can help you and work with you to solve the problem. Good Luck! :)

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R.J.

answers from Orlando on

hello

I agree with other moms. And if they can't help you with this i would try sending her somewhere else because if there a daycare center they should be use to this. If you can i would leave work early and just come in to the daycare to and check in on them and your child. Also if you decide to change places look for a daycare center where they have parent watch it a program why your child is at the center you can log onto the internet and watch your child and also the school. Where do you live?

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M.

answers from Orlando on

You definately need to find a different daycare. Probably one with smaller number of kids.I worked in a daycare with this age and one of them was biting someone else at least once a day. They get frustrated and this is how they react. It passes quickly. YOUR KID IS NORMAL. Obviously your current daycare doesn't know this. I get a little angry when people quickly say get a specialist when this is a normal growing/ communication stage. Follow your heart you know your kid!!!! GET ANOTHER DAYCARE.

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B.B.

answers from Orlando on

I was a young 3's daycare teacher..one of my kids was a bitter. I couldn't understand at first why...just like your daughter he was very verbal. I sat down one day and showed him picture of a bite on a other child. I asked him if he thought that mite hurt. I allow him to express what he thought about that..(the idea of biting). I then asked why he would bite if he thought that it would hurt. This is were I found out he was trying to express that he was as strong as the big boys. He didn't really know the words to express this feeling he had. Maybe your daughter is trying to let the other kids know in her class that she also is a "Big Girl". Try asking her what she thinks of the idea and about whats been happening in class to see what she saids and very important how she reacts with her face,hands and posture

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J.W.

answers from Orlando on

Hello K.,

How are you doing? I can relate to your situation, my youngest daughter who is now 4 had this same type of behavior issues when she was younger, about 2 years old. While she was in a daycare facility with the younger infants, most of which were just learning to walk a few steps. She seemed older for her age and had learned from her bigger sister how to stand, walk and run at an earlier age than my first. Anyways, she played rougher with these infants usually causing them to fall down by continually bumping into them, then she too started to bite, mostly out of frustration. Because when they decided to place her (even though she was smaller) in a class with toddlers, she stopped the biting. They reason I believe my daughter was acting out in frustration was because certain behaviors over the years keep showing there mean little heads. Lets just put it this way, the ladies that I use to work with got a good laugh when on a daily basis I would have to list all the things my lil' one should not do to others because she would not want these things done to her.
That is silly that they would suggest for you to take her to a Behavioral specialist, sounds to me like they are overreacting.

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