Birthdays for Large Families

I come from a big family, too. We only celebrate the kids' birthdays. Each family plans parties for their own children and we do something different every year. When my 4 kids were little, we'd have a party for each one individually and alternate between inviting extended family and same age friends. Same with my siblings, each year was different, sometimes a big family gathering, sometimes just friends and same age cousins. Then 3 of my siblings had girls within a month of eachother so one year we had a big family party for all 3 cousins at once.

I like that we can be flexible because as the kids get older, they want to choose what to do and who to invite to their parties. Since no one expects to be invited to every party, it gives each family the freedom to plan what works for each child on each birthday.

Our large family gets together once a month. We don't give gifts to neices and nephews. Parents are responsible for gifts for their own children. With big families, the expense of giving a gift to everyone in the extended family can be too much. We all agreed on this.

As a child, I only had maybe 4 or 5 actual birthday parties where friends/other family was invited. The other times were small intimate immediate family thing for my birthday. I loved them all.

I like the seasons idea, a big party 4 times a year for those whose b-day was in that timeframe, and then each family can do whatever they want for their kids birthday. Having family parties all the time gets overwhelming, and expensive!

I have a big family too. Not quite as big as yours though :) I like the idea of getting together to celebrate birthdays once a month, but that still seems like a lot! I can almost see doing one big party a season and celebrating all the birthdays for that season then. You could do something a little more intimate on their actual birthdays. Right now they are too young to really care, to be honest. By the time they're old enough to really care, you'll be inviting their friends over! :) Also, you're kids are still young enough that they don't have a reference for "normal." So, if you decide to celebrate with a HUGE party once a month, then that will become their "normal."

you could have a big family party for the extendeds once a month, then on your kid's actual birthday, just have a small family thing with cake.

If everyone gets along and enjoys each other's company, the more the merrier. And as a quick response to "I don't want my kids feeling let down because theor day isn't celebrated enough". Childhood birthday parties come and go. They do not greatly impact your child's psych or inform your child as to how much you love them. Relax and enjoy your family.

We do celebrate all of my kids,nephews & nieces my sil thought it would be a "great idea"to have my son & her daughter together I did just to shut her up but wasn't happy about it.So now when I do any planning I send invites only no phone calls that way she can't ask me to celebrate her daughters at the same time & now they are all at our home not at in-laws,or restraunts.The big family will alwasy be this year I didn't invite everyone I told my mil/parents that it was getting to be too much we were spending 3x our monthly food bill on food for the parties so it will be narrowed down I doubt there will be any hard feelings because everyone is talking about their own budget cuts & not wanting to go to parties any more these are of course the older aunts & cousins that have older kids.Things change I do think if your having parties keep it small or big dow hat you can provide what you can regardless of what others say about it.I don't see myself having these parties up in the teen years unless it is with their friends but family parties will be for a while till they don't want them anymore or till thye want to start inviting more friends over so then there will of course be more family elminated not to be mean but come on family for everything they have friends I have friends who I would like to invite.

I think the big family party once a month is a good idea. The small family party at his home with parents and sibs is also a good idea so they will have that special feeling. Having 2 special days is not going to be a bad thing for any kiddo.

My family isn't as big as yours but I have 4 boys plus my mom who all have October B-days...what we do is have a big family party for all of them together then on each's special day we also make it special...special dinner, the day pretty much revolves around them, whatever they choose we usually do, within reason of course...and we usually save their biggest gift for their actual birthday!

We did monthly get togathers and did the celebrating all at once when I was growing up. The month that had holiday's or birthdays got celebrated.

Haha! Four our huge extended family we have up to THREE "parties" for every birthday when people are kids:

- Day of: immediate family only. Birthday child picks dinners, cupcakes, we sing. We'll often do some kind of outing or inning, (like the zoo where we have a membership), or marathon videos / videogames, or go on a hike/swimming, whatever. Free stuff that is just parents, sibs, and bday child.

- Kids Party. The is the only "paid" party, and family aren't invited. Grandparents MAY be invited to help out kind of thing esp when young, but this is the "friends" party. Cousins are invited, so parents of cousins (like the all the other parents are welcome to stay or drop off)

- Family Party. For our fam it's either dutch DimSum, or potluck bbq. Grand total usually works out to $10 per person. Typically there are anywhere between 20 & 60 people there depending on who is in town. This is the one per 1 to 2 months sort of thing. Everyone who has a bday near (so July 9th & Aug 15th) would both be guests of honor.