S.B.
My kids are now 26 and 17 years old. I've had many, many parties for them.
I don't know what it is, but it seems to me like the RSVP etiquette has gone out the window. Can your child attend or not? It's a pretty simple question.
My kids had extremely successful parties. Sometimes not all kids could attend due to other family obligations, but the parents at least let me know that.
No offense to anyone, but it seems that some younger generations of parents don't really take invitations or the RSVP thing seriously.
One throwing a party just needs a yes or no so they can plan on how many guests to provide for.
My birthday and my sister's birthday are right at Christmas. No one could ever come. So, my parents got creative. My son's birthday is during the summer. We had his birthday parties before school let out. We took timing into consideration.
I would chalk this up to experience. I don't blame you for being upset, but see what you can do differently next time. Maybe only invite the kids that your children have close relationships with and that you are familiar with their parents.
My kids always invited all their school mates and with few exceptions, they all attended and RSVP'd. Like I said, that was 26 and 17 years ago.
Unfortuntely, I don't think people take it as seriously as they used to.
I'm 50 and this is a trend that I've been noticing. I wish it wasn't true.
Take your kids out to a movie or to a place that will bring them an ice cream sundae and sing happy birthday to them. Arrange for the restaurant to bring balloons to the table. (You have to plan this in advance. Maybe have dad take the balloons before you take the kids).
There are lots of things you can do to make a special day.
You'll think of something.
The kids won't be totally bummed if you aren't.
Best wishes.