Birthday Party Thank You Note

I think it is much better manners to write a personal thank you to afterwards making mention of the specific gift that each guest gave him. Personally, I don't really like thank you notes that read like form letters.

No, I would want a note customized to the gift we gave. I think it's fine if you want to do both, though -- a thank you for coming to the party and a thank you for the gift later.

We always send thank you notes after the event including what the gift was. Actually I'm kinda surprised reading some of these responses that some people "hate" thank you notes. We were always taught to send a thank you note to express your appreciation for something nice/thoughtful someone has done for you or gave to you. Up until now I've always written the note for my daughter and had her do her best to "sign" it. Now that she is four and can write fairly well she will be writing her own notes this year. Maybe I'm in the minority here but I've always thought it was good manners to send a note.

I think it is a fine idea. I went to a few parties that had the thank you note in the goodie bag. Not a problem, we have such busy, hectic lives and making something easy for us moms is great. Whats better, no thank you??

Personally I think the goodie bag is the thank you for coming to the party and thank you notes should be specific to what the child brought for a present and for being at the party and should be given at a later time.

I have to disagree with some of the responses you've gotten. While I don't require a thank you note if I give someone a gift I would like them to at least say thank you. It's an acknowledgment of them appreciating what I did for them. BUT, I do send thank you notes, especially for birthdays etc. It's polite to send one and even if the recipient doesn't care whether or not I send one it's still the right thing to do. I make sure my daughter, 2, does the same. At her age I, of course, write them but she "signs" them with a doodle, scribble, or drawing of some kind.

While I agree that putting the thank you notes in the goody bag is super efficient I do agree that it's a little tacky. You know that everyone else in the group received the same note with no personalization of any kind. To me, that makes the thank you note seem perfunctory as opposed to genuine. I would say no to putting them in the bags and send them or give them out at a later date when your child has had an opportunity to put some thought into it.

I think as a society we are moving much too far away from good manners and social niceties. I'm definitely no poster child for Miss Manners but maintaining some of the formal rules really does make an impression and say a lot about who you are.

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Hopefully, by age 11, your kid is mature enough to tell the gift giver "THANK YOU" at the time he opens the gift! Once that is done, no additional thank you "note" is required. (Notes were customarily done in writing to ensure the gift giver that the recipient received the gift, for example wedding gifts, or gifts shipped through the mail or delivered by a third party to someone and the giver is not present at the time the gift is opened. If they SEE the recipient open the gift, they know this already). If you want to send a written note, then by all means do so. But it isn't fulfilling any obligation of rules of etiquette to do so, unless the presents are not opened at the party. THEN, you would need to send a note, but you would also need to be specific in the note so that you acknowledge the individual gift ("Thanks for the baseball glove"; " Thanks for the ___", etc).
I think your son will probably do all that is socially expected when he opens the gifts and you don't need to do anything else. It's not like he's 3 and has to be prompted to open his mouth and say "Thank you".... right?
If you want to do "goody bags", go ahead. But an additional note on them is totally unnecessary.

I know tons of people that say they write thank you notes it is important but I have never received one. I think many just make sure they send family one as long as the family is older.

I don't see anything wrong with it really. You will certainly have him thank the people in person for the gifts. I never understood why people have to be thanked twice. In person and on paper. I know it is good manners but I kinda see a note being for those times you don't get to say anything in person.

It would be more fun for them each to get one in the mail-the goodie bag is their thanks for attending-the note is the thank you for the (specific) gift.

I don't know...I am actually more offended by that kind of thank you than by none at all. Kind of tacky IMO. I also hate the xeroxed ones or the pre made ones with just your gift put in. Thank yous can be a royal pain-esp roping kids into writing them. But they are and oh so important lesson for your child in manners and respect.

I would say, "WOW, how organized-wish I thought of it!"
I personally think of "thank you" notes for birthday gifts in a practical sense-letting out of town relatives know that we did in fact receive the sent gift and how much enjoyment my child is getting from it. Since the children are at the party, I think it is totally acceptable.
Disclaimer: I am no authority in the area of manners, just a practical mother of 3.
Happy Birhtday!

Updated

I would say, "WOW, how organized-wish I thought of it!"
I personally think of "thank you" notes for birthday gifts in a practical sense-letting out of town relatives know that we did in fact receive the sent gift and how much enjoyment my child is getting from it. Since the children are at the party, I think it is totally acceptable.
Disclaimer: I am no authority in the area of manners, just a practical mother of 3.
Happy Birhtday!

I think it's a great idea. Many don't do Thank You's these days and it's disappointing. Maybe becuse we HAD to when we were kids!!! I make my 5 year old write them out! Pre-writing a little something and putting in the gift bag is much better than no thank you can in my opinion.

Good idea and better to knock it out than have to fuss about getting them done after the party.

Sounds great to me. Make sure your son signs them.

i think thank-you notes are essential if the gift was not opened in person. if the person has already been thanked sincerely, then further *required* thanks are redundant (although certainly not a 'bad' thing.)
if you feel that a written thank you is important for you and your kids to do, i sure won't argue with you. and i think that putting them in the gift bags is fine.
i wouldn't do it for a wedding gift or something like that. but a kid's birthday party? i think it's a nice gesture, and efficient.
khairete
S.

I had never done that before, but my son attended a party a few weeks ago and the mom had put the thank you notes in the goodie bag and I thought that was an awesome idea!

I would have no problem with it as long as the kids are also thanked for the gifts, even if in person at the party either when given the gift or when opening. I have included little tags on momentos for parties saying thank you for joining in the celebration.