Birthday Party Invite/reminder Etiquette

I always text or call the people. It may be rude on my part but when I'm paying for a cake or stuff (like skating, bowling, etc) I want to know how many people are coming. 99% of the time when I call, they ARE coming but forgot to let me know. This includes family!!! Frustrating...

I would email, call or text. In the past when I have had parties and the cost per head was $25+, you bet I called to ask people.

I just said, "______, Could you please let me know if you will be joining us on _____ for the party. I have to give my final number of guests attending to the location and I need to know if I need to include you in that number or not. Thank you!"

It is hard to get a anyone to RSVP and I don't get it because it is not that hard to just call , text, or email a yes or no.

I would phone those who haven't replied tomorrow.

If today is the deadline, I'm not sure why you've already sent a text reminder AND an email reminder. Sometimes that just annoys people and they don't respond.

At this point, those who said they would let you know are either pushing the deadline or just aren't going to respond. Some people just wait to see if they get any other offers, frankly, and hold you off until the last minute (pushing the deadline). So the best thing to do is to assume they are not coming. Don't plan on them coming. If they show up, you have to absolutely looked completely shocked, pause for a full five seconds (a long time!) without saying anything, then quickly recover and say, "Oh my goodness. What a surprise. Well, by all means, come in. We'll set an extra place for you! Susie, my Jennifer will be so surprised and happy that you are here!" You then respond with incredible manners and consideration to those who have none. It doesn't solve your immediate problem but it will lessen the likelihood that they will do this again.

You can have a few lower-end goody bags for those who didn't reply, although you hate to penalize the child for the parents' bad manners. I don't believe in going overboard on goody bags anyway, and certainly not investing in a whole lot of extras for people who have not replied. We also never had huge parties (such as inviting the whole class) so we never gave the impression that it was almost an "open house" type of environment where people feel it just doesn't matter or you won't notice a few more people.

And if people fail to reply on 2 occasions, they don't get invited again. You tell your child the hard reality - Susie's family doesn't reply or they don't plan, so let's save our invitations for people who are likely to come.

I used to think that e-vites were less likely to get responses than paper invitations because the e-mail version seems like a lot more people are being invited and therefore a few RSVPs missing won't affect the total party. A paper invitation could get pinned to the bulletin board or stuck on the refrigerator, and it didn't get lost in a parent's in-box. But I'm not sure anymore, and mostly now I think the tide has turned and many people like e-vites so they can reply right then and there. When we get class lists and so on, they rarely include home addresses, just emails, so more and more we are in the exact position you mention of not having addresses. Recipients also know it's easy for you to electronically send out reminders - which you should absolutely not be in the position of doing. But here we are.

So I think you either tell your child who is NOT coming (because no RSVP means they didn't say yes), or you tell her you have no idea because they didn't reply. (Depends on her age and ability to absorb the concept.) That teaches her the frustration of being ignored and reduces the possibility that she will ever put others in that situation.

Personally, I don't re-invite people who didn't reply the last time. I am of course pleasant to them when our paths cross, but I assume I'm not too high on their priority list or they just really never learned manners and I'll be facing this every time. I move on.

Good luck and I hope the party is successful!

I think it's fine to text or call today and simply say I need to know if your child will be coming to the party. Let me know today, thanks!

I agree that texts are easy but sometimes people do brush them off. Calling them might ensure more of a response but you can always text and if you don't hear from them by tonight, call them tomorrow.

message them again. I always liked doing actual invitations so its easier to remember when you see it on the fridge or cork board. i also include an rsvp by date.

Since this is always a problem, contact the people again. E-mail those to whom you e-mailed invitations, and text those whom you texted - or do both for both groups. "Ella's birthday party is coming up Saturday - haven't heard from you. Shall we expect you? Please let me know by tomorrow (add your phone number)."

There isn't a way of getting RSPVs out of everybody, I guess, unless it's going to their homes, banging on their front doors, announcing the event, and refusing to leave unless they give you a definite yes or no. Maybe even that wouldn't always work.

Call them.

Text messages are easily brushed aside. They don't carry much urgency. Call until you actually talk to someone and let them know that you are finalizing your guest list and need to make sure you have enough cake and food for everyone.

I would contact critical people ONLY--the people whose attendance is most important to me. I would CALL them. Otherwise, give everybody until the deadline to reply. Then, make your actual guest list from the people who said that they are coming. Do not plan for other people who might just show up.

Why not give them a call. If you aren't good enough friends with the to even have their phone numbers why invite them?

I invite people I know and I make sure my kiddo is actually friends with them. We have invited the whole class to things but I don't include RSVP's on those. I simply say come join us and don't worry about letting us know. There's cake and drinks and lots of fun. Then I don't do goody bags, I don't do a bunch of games or pay for an expensive place that no one really wants to go to.

For my son's 6th bday party I personally handed out the invites to all the boys in his class. I decided to just not even put an RSVP date on the invite, I've noticed that some of the invites we've gotten haven't had an RSVP date either. I held the party at my house and figured I could easily be prepared for everyone to come or just few. I bought extra favors, in case siblings came too...you never know and saved receipts to return them if needed. Most people responded a week before the party and one mom called the night before, which was fine because I was prepared for that. The people who did not respond did not attend. I know how busy people can be and I didn't want a mom to feel like she couldn't bring her son simply because she forgot to RSVP 3 days in advance, I myself have been forgetful.

if you look back, you'll see this question comes up over and over again.
if you are okay with the number of guests being squishy, let it go.
if you really need to know the numbers for planning and cost purposes, call your invitees on the phone. you cannot assume that your RSVP count is correct.
khairete
S.

Send a reminder. If they are like me, they will sincerely respond with something like "Oh my goodness, I thought I already let you know. Joey will be there for sure. I'm so sorry I forgot."

More than once, I was SURE I had responded to an invitation, only to realize after a polite prompt that I must have forgotten.

Ahhh! I know *exactly* what you're talking about.

If you sent them two different reminders, they are simply being rude. Assume they're not coming.

And this sounds silly- but thank the ones that DO rsvp and tell them how nice it is that they respected the Party Code :)

Best of luck!

Hi M.,

I concur with the responses below encouraging you to call them. I am going through this myself with my Son's party coming up on Saturday. I did have to actually call about half of the guest list but everything is finalized.

I understand if you're hesitant because it might feel pushy or because you may not know the parents of your kid's friends very well but a phone call is the most direct way to finalize things. A couple of the moms bringing kids to my DS's party on Saturday I'll be meeting for the first time. It's no big deal, we're all moms and hopefully we all understand.

have fun!! S.

I would send a reminder notice... Maybe something along e lines of, "Just a reminder; ____'s birthday party is coming up! Please RSVP no later than (I would give them a couple days...) so I can plan accordingly. Thank you!"

People suck at the RSVP.
I don't know why: laziness, lack of manners...who knows?
Call the non responders. If they're talking to you directly, they'll commit O. way or the other.

No more texts/emails! Call them (with your voice) and say you're getting the final number for the party and ask if they will be attending.

It is not rude to do that. It is rude that they didn't reply.