Birthday Party Invitation Ettiquette

How about a book swap. I went to a birthday party that said on the invite, "no gifts please, but for please bring a gently used or new book to swap with."
When we got to the party, there was a table were are the books (unwrapped) were left. Then halfway through the party, all the kids were invited to the table to pick a book to take home. Most people still brought gifts (I did), but you didn't have too and I thought that was a great idea!

By the way, I had 3 kids so I brought 3 books.

Your PRESENCE means more than PRESENTS...

Yep...Only your pressence is necessary

Last year I put "Your presence is/are your presents!" on my invite. I think it's becoming more & more common. Plus, children that small can only focus on 1 or 2 gifts anyway.

Have fun!

I totally agree with Cheryl O. Im glad you asked, Im planning my twins b-day party but they really dont need gifts. So I was trying to think of the best way to word that gifts werent expected.

I often did a combo party for my two youngest as their birthdays were just 2 days apart.

First of all - They each had separate invitations that they passed out to separate people. So, excluding direct family, most people had no idea two children were celebrating and didn't feel obligated to buy gifts for both.

Secondy, etiquette says you're not supposed to mention gifts. So I've seen wording/phrases like "Your presence is gift enough".

please, no gifts. your presence is your gift. or something like that.

I have many friends, us included, who did not have birthday "parties" for their kids, until 3-4 years old.
By that age, the child then is aware of a "party" party.

If you are broke, there really is no need for a 'party.'

Experts in manners will tell you never to mention gifts on an invitation, but I don't think that's realistic. I think it's perfectly fine to put "No gifts, please."

For family, you might include an insert that says, "If you truly want to give a gift, here's some great ideas," and then list things like bubbles and bubble wands, kick balls/bouncy balls and other inexpensive items, or choose a gift in the $20-$25 range that you know your kids like and ask that they contribute towards that. Even then, you should say, "The best gift is having you there, so please come celebrate. Other gifts are not necassary."

You could also choose a theme - water parties work great in the summer - and ask that everyone choose a gift (water guns, water balloons, beach balls) that fits the theme, and hold present opening time early in the party, so everyone can play games with the gifts.

I had a couple of friends write

"No Gifts Please"

after the invite. I didn't find it rude or anything. Actually people followed it. So, it was all good.

I've found that if you say something like "presents not expected" or "your presence is more appreciated than presents," people still feel the need to bring em. My youngest son recently turned one and I wrote,"no gifts please" on the invitation. It worked. We had great turnout and no gifts (but some cards). The cool thing is that it caught on in our group of friends and other people have done that too. Don't worry, we still privately had him open some gifts from us. :)

"Your presence is a perfect present for us. Extra gifts not necessary."

I like the book swap idea below. It's the only response I've read so far, but a cute/cool idea.

When my youngest was born, I included something about how everyone had been incredibly generous in the past so presents were not necessary; we just wanted to have them come and join in the celebration of this little girl's birth.

I'd say 60% of the guests did not bring gifts, and those who did certainly brought less than they had to our older daughter's welcome party (she was born early '08, when people were just insane over the amount of gifts they'd give). It was oddly nice.

The good thing is that your daughter and son are close enough that there are a lot of toys they'll both find interesting (I have an 11 month old and a three year old and they share a lot of toys).