Birth Dates

too much thought and stop listening to others.

Get pregnant when you can.

Some also will say not right in Dec too close to Christmas.

When it happens it will happen.

I really do not see cons on this subject at all as long as you seperate the birthdays. I think it is just as tough having a birthday around a major holiday(like me). I do not think you should,"put off" having another baby for that reason only. Just a thought. Me, I would be lucky to get preg at all(trying for 2 yrs), and I would not care whos birthday I would be invading (sorry to sound selfish about that), just cause I want it that bad! Sore subject for me, but if you can and want to have another baby, just do it.

Hi,

My husband shares the same month and close days to his mother and brother. From his stories all I can say is that he enjoys saying that they are all in July however, he never got his own party. So, go for it, just keep their days special to them.

C.

I think you're thinking too much! LOL
Babies are a gift from God, no matter the day!
Good luck with your new "production".......

All I can say is that the moment you think you really have control over these type things, is the same moment everything goes the opposite as you plan.
Just have a baby! Don't worry about when or why. My husband and I delayed having a baby for a couple months because of similar silly reasons, and then when we were finally ready... we didn't conveive for a year - therefore "ruining" our perfect plan anyways.

My birthday and my son's birthday are 11 days apart. I'm pregnant again, and my due date is 13 days before my son's birthday. Is that perfect? Maybe not in my eyes, but in God's eyes, this is perfect.

Worry about keeping your kids safe and healthy, not trying to plan their exact birthdays for party reasons! Good luck!

I went to school with two sisters that were 2 years apart and born on the same day. They were very close. I agree about it's how you handle it. My sister's birthday is 4 days before mine and she is four years younger. I don't think it made my birthday any less special. She had her day and I had mine. My parents were very good at keeping those days special just for us. It all works out.

Good luck!

Hello ~ We have 4 boys with 3 of their bdays in April. My 12 yo is on 4/18, 10 yo on 4/2, 6 yo on 4/9 and the youngest 4 yo is 12/27 (we thought for sure he'd be our girl since it wasn't in April!!) I LOVE having their bdays all in the same month (did not do this on purpose) although it's like Christmas all over again. On their actual birthday we have just with us the special meal they choose, cake and a few presents. Then we also have one giant party with family and friends. Blessings ~ J.

I think it's really your own choice. I have a birthday 2 days after Christmas and my brother's is less than a month later. Neither thing really bothered me b/c my parents treated it fairly (although my bday parties were very small b/c of Christmas vacations).

My own kids are March, April and July and we have many local family members with birthdays throughout that time and every other month of the year, so there's always a birthday happening. I would say if your kids are close month-of-the-year wise, just be fair about gift giving and parties and it won't matter to them that they are close in date.

Also, I have a friend who has one born beginning of March, the other around 15 days later (a year apart though), she just has a really hectic Feb./March with planning, but once it's over, she's done until next Feb./March.

I have another friend who gives one of her 3 children a party each year, rotating through so she only throws one big party a year...the others get a family party only. Her kids aren't close month-of-the-year wise, but it's a great way to save.

There are tons of ways to make birthdays work for your family...just make sure to think about what you'll do before you get stressed about it.

M.

Hi M. J. My three girls have birthdays somewhat close together, #1 & #2 are two years and one week apart (March) our third one is 3weeks and 3yrs younger than #2 (February). I was trying for Christmas babies and missed! When they were little we did parties for the older two together. As they got older we quit doing parties and just had big sleepovers. When our oldest turned 16 we did a big party and will again as the other two reach that milestone. Since we had all girls I also made birthday #13 speical with dinner then first make-up shopping for just birthday girl and Mom. Having birthdays close together is both a blessing and a challange. It really isn't something you can control since you can never be sure when you will get pregnant. With our first I got pregnant right away, with the other two it took a few months. Frankly, it's nothing you should worry over...it's more important that you and baby and older sib are healthy & happy! Best wishes.

What really are the odds that you would conceive the first month of trying? If you are charting your temperature,you could increase the likelihood.However,the odds of you actually conceiving the forst month of trying are low,so don't worry about it.

My husband and his 2 siblings all have August birthdays. His dad, too. I know his mom always hosted an August birthday party for them. It was really fun and like a second Christmas! She did try to make each kid's actual birthday special though by letting the kids pick their favorite meal for dinner and saving a gift or two for that day. I think you can make anything work. And I think they have great memories because of it.

My two girls are just 9 days shy of being two years apart. I love having them have their birthdays so close together. They don't seem to mind it either (since it is all they know) and I get away with having a joint birthday party because at this age they share all the same friends anyway!

My 2 oldest (8 and 6) have birthdays that are 3 wks apart. For the most part, we've had separate parties because they're a boy and a girl, so they invite separate friends. One year we had it together but it was too big and too stressful. I wouldn't hold off getting pregnant unless you want to for other reasons. Do what feels right for you and your family. If you feel you don't want the stress of birthdays so close, then wait. But it's really not bad.

Hello. I have two children that were born three days,4 yrs, apart. We planned the second but i ended up getting pregnant sooner than anticipated. and both of my children were due to be born in April and BOTH were born in March. I felt bad having people come one day for two parties but family said that was ok with them. My daughter is 4 and my son 10 months so I am thinking about taking my daughter out the day before, just her, to do something special and then have a combined party.

i had baby #4 ON baby #2's 12th birthday. It didn't go over very well, although it is a date they love to share now. (one is 25 and the other is 13 now)

I would personally space out the dates by a month, but in the long run, I don't think it makes tons of difference one way or the other.

ok here are my thoughts. IF you have control over the timing and there are no extenuating circumstances, then i would definately say wait and try to plan it out to a different month.
Personally, i think birthdays are the one day a year you shouldn't have to share, that it should be all about you. Maybe I'm selfish, whatever.
That being said, no one really has control over conception, birth etc etc. And in the grand scheme of life, having to share a birthday with a sibling isn't the worst thing that will ever happen.
What type of personality does the first born have?? The kind that is totally easy going and would love sharing or a little more sensitive etc??
It's obviously up to you, but i would plan a better time.
Who are these people that are telling you when you should try to get preggos, immediately??? I'm curious as to their reasoning. I know there are exceptions but generally if you've gotten pregnant once already adn didn't have trouble why assume you wouldn't be able to concieve the first month you tried??
It should be interesting to see other peoples thoughts on this. I wish you an easy pregnancy and a healthy baby when ever it ends up happening.

this is somewhat hilarious to me. This year I am having one birthday party for four, yes four of our kids. The birthday's are April 5, 7, May 8,23. Oh, and my husband's birthday is May 25. That's 3 boys and one girl and we are having Pirate themed party where, the turning 8 year old has decided that everyone has to wear an eye patch. Also, he is very excited about getting a present for his baby brother's first birthday, which is only two days before his.

I guess it depends on the child, but, my kids, with two birthdays in each month, it's an early opportunity to teach them about giving. They each will buy a gift for their sibling that shares their birthday month. They are currently wracking their brains for the perfect gift, and they come up with a new 'perfect' one every few hours or so.

Oh, and the oldest two are both born in December. We like to keep it in twos I guess, and there haven't been any complaints yet. I think they almost view it as birthday buddies.

Wow! You are putting a lot of thought into it, and I never really did. But, here's how my family is.
My brother and I are both born on the same day, 4 years apart (this also happens to be the day after our mom's birthday). Growing up, I remember that 1 time (and only once) my mom threw us a combined birthday party. I HATED it. I felt so gipped. Now, I do think its pretty cool though, cause we call each other birthday twins. So, now, I don't mind so much. Though, we live near our mom and it is a bit upsetting that I call them to wish them a happy birthday and no one ever calls me.
I also have a set of brothers that are twins, but born on different days (close to midnight). One of them was killed in Iraq almost 2 years ago. Celebrating the other's birthday has been difficult because its hard to separate the 2 of them.
So, I guess, if I analyzed it, I'd say wait a month. But, no matter what, their sibling will be a gift, no matter when he/she is born.
Best wishes and good luck with your upcoming pregnancy.

My nephews are abut a month apart and it's really nice - they are close in age, like yours would be, and as they are getting older we can get them one really nice gift to share - a big set of legos for example - that we know they'd love but we could never afford just for one. Also, because my daughter's birthday is about the same time (though she's a good bit older older), we've had several "cousin birthday parties" with the extended family that they all loved - one year we let them decorate their own cake, for example - and had their own separate cakes and celebrations with them on "the day" with just immediate family. Good luck with your decision!

My sister and I share a birthday. We are 8 years apart. It comes in handy when having to throw birthday parties. Your oldest might not be too thrilled about sharing a birthday or having a birthday so close together. I am pretty sure it was not fun for my sister to have her sister sharing her birthday, but it is great now. We have a very close bond and I love sharing my birthday with her.

I think that it is great to have the birthdays close together. From the last week of September to the end of October, all four of us have a birthday. We get all the birthdays done in one month and don't have to do it again until the next year. No way to forget about them either.

Also like someone else said, you may not get pregnant right away either. So it might be a month later.

Good Luck

A.

My kids birthdays are about a month apart in the calendar year and we do special things for each of them but have a combined party in the middle to invite family and friends that live further away. I was afraid that not everyone would make the trip multiple times and didn't want anyone to have to choose which one to go to.

That is one advantage. The other was that seasonal clothing would be the correct size for the next child. And November/December babies are a great tax break!

My suggestion is if you are ready to try to conceive go for it. Don't worry that this baby might be born close to your other child's birthday. I think the bigger issue is how you handle it. If their birthdays are close, make a point of making it a "non-issue". Let it be a positive life lesson on sharing and celebrating. I have a twin brother and never felt slighted that I didn't have my own personal day. We always shared parties. It was a lot of fun. We usually had 2 cakes. If there was only 1 cake both of our names were on it. This is a unique bond I share with my brother and even though we are not particularly close as adults, I cherish the memories of our childhood birthdays. Not once did anyone ever indicate that having to share a birthday was somehow negative. That is the only con I can think of - if someone tries to put a negative spin on it.

My brother's birthday and mine are the 15th & 16th of the month but 5 years apart. My brother resented me for many years for taking the specialness out of his birthday. We also had a few parties together and they usually did not go well, in my opinion.
My older sister and brother have birthdays at the beginning of the month and the end of the month, 1 year apart. They were always very competative but didn't seem to have the same issues that my brother and I did.
Take from it what you will and good luck.
H. H.

I have to agree with just about everyone else on this. My kids birthdays are less than a week apart but they are 5 years apart. I was due the day before my sons birthday. THe doctor though let be induced a few days early so I didnt have to worry about them having the same birthday. But that was a choice that I was given. For my daughters 1st birthday last year I did 2 seperate parties with family that way my son didnt feel that all the attention was off of him and all on her. This year and from now on im hitting 2 birds with 1 stone. Ill actually be doing this in a couple weeks. Each of my kids will have there own cake and each is going to have their own theme of plates to go with it. This party is going to be family then a couple weeks after that im going to be throwing my son a party at Chuck e Cheese or something similiar with a few friends from his school. My son will be 7 and he is thrilled to have his party like this. He feels that he is getting to celebrate twice. Over all I wouldnt worry about it. You can make it seem cool to share it with the older or younger sibling.

My boys are 3 yrs and 8 days apart...so their bdays are roughly 1 week apart. To add to it - one bday is 5 days before christmas and the other is 3 days after!! Is it hectic - yep...is December a little nuts - definitely - but I wouldn't change it!! I have separate parties for them (and I also cook Christmas dinner). It can be a lot...but it is a lot of fun!!!

The pros and cons of a shared birthday are less an issue than the myth that you'll be able to control the exact date of your conception! Many women have no problem conceiving the first time, only to find they can't conceive a second child (called secondary infertility)--my SIL experienced this, and tried for a couple of years using expensive and emotionally draining infertility procedures before giving up. Are you under 25 and already using infertility procedures? If not, start trying to conceive now; it could take several months (if not years).

My oldest brother and I are 7 years apart. His birthday is on the 16 and mine is on the 20th of March. We always had joint birthday celebrations and we loved it. My Mom would combine themes. Like one year I remember it was Superman and Wonderwoman and another time (when we were real little Rageddy Ann and Andy. As my brother got older (pre teen, when he was 12 or 13 and I was 5 or 6, we still did the joint party for our family and close friends and then he got a separate small party for just him and his friends. You'd really have to ask my brother :) but he never seemed to have a problem with it and I think it actually helped us to become closer since there was such a big difference in our ages . . . .

M. J,
For me, allowing nature to create what it sees as appropriate is best. To put of creating that next beautiful little being because of a concern for birthdates seems strange. Raising a whole and healthy child isn't about whether two birthdays fall close together. Should this happen, there are many ways to still have each child experience their own special birthday. You referenced they would be several years apart - so themes and age appropriateness would make celebrations unique (not to mention if there would be a difference in the sex of the children). Also, you could provide added "specialness" by having special "one-on-one with Mom/Dad" birthday time. Maybe a special lunch out, spending 2 hours doing activities totally selected by the child, etc. You could create some very special rituals BECAUSE of the closeness in the birth dates.

G.

I think it all depends on you and your preferences. I have 4 chidren that are all 2 yrs apart. The older 2 have shared a b-day party every year, and they don't seem to mind at all. My youngest 2 are just 2yrs and 3 days apart, and my 2 yr old is really excited about sharing her birthday with her little brother. You just have to keep in mind that eventually they are going to want friend parties and invite thier friends from school, which is what I am going through right now for the 2 older children. I have rented the local skating rink for thier party and they were each allowed to invite 8 friends from their schools, and I am going to have family and friends come too. It seems to be going really well with the planning, and their party is on Sunday. So it should go really well. It might end up costing a little more to have more people there, but you only have to do it once a year for their birthdays. I hope this helps easy your mind a little. Good luck with the pregnancy, and everything will work out!

Whatever will make you happy, if you feel comfortable having b-days further apart that's totally fine. I will say I didn't do the caculation until I was preg and we have one at the beginning of the month and one at the end. If you go all out on b-days you can save by doing combined b-days or if you want to do seperate b-days than it's more work and more stress. I personally share a b-day with my sister exactly six years apart; some years I hatted it, some I treasured it. Now every year we spend our b-days together. So feelings will change as the years go by. But it all comes down to what works best for you.

I'm with you and would prefer to space my children apart. Right now I also have a daughter who's birthday is in November so I will TRY for a spring or summer baby next. Although I don't much care and can never really bank on getting pregnant in a specific month. Bottom line: we can do what we want to try and plan but things will work how they work. You could start trying now but not be successful for 6 months...you never know. Good luck, relax, and if you feel ready for another at any time go ahead and start trying whenever.

my bro & sis are 2 yrs apart to the day. They each had separate parties w/friends & one party w/the family (but they each had their own cake). My bro never cared. My sis sometimes hated it, but she also had "middle child syndrome". She always felt jipped about something. I always thought it was cool & wished I could have shared my bday.

My husband and his brother are 3 years apart and there birthdays are 20 days apart. My husband was born on the August 6th and his brother(who is the oldest)was born on the August 26th. He tells me that they never had separate birthdays that they would share a birthday party and they hated it. Now Me and my daughter share a birthday actually on Monday the 9th, its different when an adult and a child share a birthday. But do what you feel would be better for you and your children.

I wouldn't worry about it. They may fuss when they are younger, but they get over it and like it when they are older. My mom and her youngest brother shared a birthday. He was born on her 12th birthday. She said that was the worst birthday of her life, because she was finally having a real birthday party (the depression was ending and her parents could afford a party finally), and then her brother was born and the whole thing got canceled. In my large extended family, all of us cousins shared birthdays with each other or holidays, it seemed. We lived next door to each other, and I had one cousin born on Christmas Eve, I was December 26, and another cousin was New Year's Eve. We had the best school vacations with one party after the other! My boys are one month apart, and my husband and oldest son are one week apart. This year hubby turns 50 and son turns 21. It's going to be a very special week, and we're all looking forward to it.

Hi,
the only thought I can offer you is that my brother and I were 2 years and 6 days apart. I don't believe my parents planned it that way, but that's how it worked out. Anyway, he and I never had any problem with it. They always had separate b/day parties for us (not that that was a requirement, but prob. easier since we weren't the same sex) and made each of our b/days about us. Now that we're grown up we do a joint celebration. I think it would work out just fine. Good luck@

I see you got a lot of responses already. My sister is 2 years and one day younger than me- and to top it off, our birthdays are the week before Christmas (dec. 19 & 20th). Honestly, it never bothered either of us growing up. Of course, in our family there were 6 kids, so we never really made a big deal out of birthdays (which also never bothered us). My own kids are very close, my first two are Oct.8 & Oct 12, one year apart. They are so young that it actually makes it easier, because when one has a birthday you don't have to explain to the other that they have to wait a while before it's their turn. We don't really do parties, but I know families that will just have one big party to celebrate all the birthdays in a particular month.
All this to say, it hasn't bothered me sharing a birthday so close to my sister (actually, it's kind of fun), and so far it doesn't seem to annoy my kids. But, the decision is entirely yours. If it will bother you, then there is nothing wrong with trying to space out your pregnancies.

Just go for it. Getting pregnant can be so tricky sometimes that if it happens, be happy and work out the details latter. I say this as an avid planner too. I charted things out to plan what month my first would be born and then the same for the second. Number three was a surprise. During my pregnancy we thought #3 and #2 would be spaced nicely and have different birth months. Then the little turkey liked his home so much that he stayed in there for 10 extra days and now their birthdays are very close. You will find ways to make each kid have a special experience and it will be nice to share gifts or parties from time to time as well.
You can only plan so much....
Good Luck!!!

My sister and I are two years - and two weeks - apart. It has never been a problem! My family always just made it a point to have two seperate celebrations as we were growing up. Now that we're older, it doesn't matter at all!

Hope that helps you feel more comfortable with moving forward! Best wishes!