Bipolar Boss..

I think one of the things you need to do is be very specific with him. Write down the tasks. Ask him the order in which he prioritizes them, what the deadline is, etc. If he won't volunteer the information, you need to get it from him. If the assignment is new, ask questions, find out who can be a resource for you and make sure you know for certain how it should be done. Take notes. I had a boss that would give M. tasks, and then say I did it wrong or did it out of order. I kept all her emails and sometimes even referenced the conversations. "Boss, on Monday you assigned M. x and y. I have finished x and am starting on y. Please confirm if you want M. to continue on y or if you'd rather I work on A and B instead, per our meeting today." It was a CYA move - Cover Your A$$.

If he yells and comes back and says he's sorry, tell him you appreciate the apology but you would prefer to work on preventing the issues that cause the conflict in the first place. Ask him if he'd be willing to meet with you to resolve the issues and discuss your training (did you not get enough?) and job duties. Is there someone who you can work with while you are still learning? Who trained you? Be direct, to the point, and professional. Even when he is not.

I had a boss that I hated, and with nowhere to go in the company, I quit. I ended up being able to stay home, work PT and take care of my DD, but I know that's not always an option. There are books about how to deal with a bully boss that you might want to read. In my case, my manager became a manager by default and was never trained on being a manager. So she not only didn't want to let go of micromanaging the tasks (we were a small team) but she had a horrible way of managing people. She even went so far as to tell M. that my commute was wrong because I chose to avoid a road she used. I know it was not just M. because she'd made another coworker cry and someone else retired after I left to get away from her. You may want to look at this as getting experience in the short term and planning to move on within a year or so.

I believe that the bulk of your issue is your lack of experience in the workplace. I'm not talking down to you. When I was a young 20-something, I worked in high-level admin positions. (As a file clerk at 19, I was better dressed--suits that had belonged to my mother's corporate days--than many of the upper-level admins. I was naturally very skilled at the tasks of my job, carried myself professionally and took care of business, but I wasn't experienced in dealing with the personalities that I would encounter.) There were older people who didn't think that I should be able to speak to them with any kind of authority--not authority over them, just confident in what I was saying. There's a chance that, in my youth, I came across as a little cocky. Grace and tone and timing come with experience, if you're willing to learn. That's on-the-job training that doesn't get mentioned in the job description.

Maybe your boss is a certified loon, but you can't use that as any excuse not to succeed where you are. You are there because you were offered the position, not because you just went and took it. Own it. Take some initiative to equip yoursef with what you'll need to be successful in that role and with subsequent promotions. Look for training seminars that could be helpful, and sell the idea of your participation to your boss as something that will benefit him and make him look good. (They have some that teach you how to talk to certain personality types so that they'll listen to you.) In fact, first see if there is a local IAAP chapter, and join it. They will help to polish you up.

Congratulations on this opportunity that you've been given.

PS. Even your use of the term "bipolar" in this situation comes off as a tad immature. That's not a knock, just an observation that might help to explain some things.

Ask him to prioritize the tasks when he gives you several at once.
And apply common sense as to what is urgent and what is not AS urgent.
Sometimes email is a better way to communicate with difficult people.
I'd also be looking for another job. Especially if he is the owner and you lack other avenues of resolve: office manager, HR department.

Btw, you mention "bipolar" in your title, yet not on you're post. You realize that bipolar is a real mental health disorder and using it in a cavalier way, to describe a difficult or crabby boss might be offensive to some, right?

Don't let anyone make you feel like an idiot or incompetent. The way your boss treats you has nothing to do with you having your GED and only some college or the fact that you are young. Your boss sounds like a complete jerk. You on the other hand sound insecure about your background and abilities. Gain confidence in yourself and start looking for another job. Your resume should speak for itself.

So he's not bipolar and you just put that in your title because he's got rage issues, or what? Being a jerk does not equal being bipolar. And if he is bipolar it's not right to assume that's why his behavior is what it is. It may be that he's just a jerk and you need to have a conversation with him. Either it will get better or it won't.

Hi - even if you do have a lack of experience because you are young, it does not give someone the right to treat you that way. I'm sorry. I once had a boss similar to this. I had a BS and a Masters degree and this was working in a human genome research laboratory. He was a very good scientist, but he had anger issues. He warned M. when he hired M. that he has this problem and has had to take classes in anger management. Once he had his entire lab of 7 people all resign at the same time. I worked for him for about 7 months and then I ended up writing a resignation letters saying he cannot treat others this way. I gave him three chances. I think you will not be able to change this man, although talking to him calmly about it is not a bad idea. But I would definitely start looking for another job. It is not worth it to work for someone like this. You deserve better. Even if you have done something wrong...you are trying and you deserve for you boss to calmly explain to you the correct way to do something. You deserve a boss who treats you with respect. Just don't burn any bridges there because you may need to get a letter of recommendation from this guy. Keep working there and keep being professional. Keep trying to improve yourself and do your best. But at the same time start looking for a similar job working for a different person who hopefully will have better management skills.

Please re-read AV's excellent response. Never let this boss give you a task and then just walk away from you! Always, always ensure that you set priorities with him right there and then also document those priorities and deadlines in writing in an e-mail immediately, as AV wisely notes. If boss comes back to you later and rails about "Why didn't you do X yet?" you then can say -- VERY calmly and coolly -- "I'll just pull up this e-mail -- yes, I confirmed with you at 1:20 this afternoon that I would complete Y by 5:00 and X by noon tomorrow. If there has been a change, please let M. know next time by e-mail so both you and I can track changes. I want your priorities to be my priorities so let's be sure that we are on the same page." Cool, calm, never make him feel attacked but always have your tasks in writing and the order of them and deadlines in writing too.

You sound, frankly, young and inexperienced not just in jobs and education but in confidence -- or lack of it - and in experience dealing with people who are lousy communicators, which Boss truly is. Never let him see you cry. Always be more mature than he is: Never blurt anything ("But, but you didn't tell M. that!") and if he yells at you, look directly at him and when he's done do not respond except possibly to say, "I will have X ready at 5:00 and Y will be ready tomorrow at noon -- as we both documented in our e-mails." Again -- you need to get this guy's needs in writing and ensure HE understands you will follow what's written.

Is there no human resources department? I figure maybe not, or it's some relative of his if this is a small family company--? A good HR professional could be a big help and could guide you on dealing with him. But meanwhile, if you need more training, ASK for it. It sounds as if you were simply thrown into the job. Is there anyone there who has done these tasks, or similar ones, in the past? Go to that person and ask for training. Be careful that the person does not see you as (a) weak or (b) a threat -- a nasty person could, and could badmouth you to the boss, but if this person is decent you could end up with an ally and a trainer. I'm not sure you have enough experience in an office to gauge whether that person would be your ally or not, so tread with care.

Sadly, sometimes working for the boss of a firm can be the wrong place to be. I would be doing everything to build a strong relationship with another manager who can give you a good reference later, because you don't want to stay at this job forever.

And if the job is eating you up to the point it affects your relationships at home -- you truly do need to reconsider, though you may end up in another cashier job. I'd tough it out long enough to get some good experience and then get out, and grow a tougher skin. The problem is the boss, and the apparent lack of any training for you. You can ask for training, make some allies if you can, and get the boss on the record for priorities and tasks.

One last thing -- I know some are criticizing you for using "bipolar" the way you did in the title. I'm chalking that up to your inexperience. In any professional office, using it like that would be cause for comment from HR or your manager as it would be considered possibly discriminatory if there really were a person in the office diagnosed as bipolar. It's just an indication that you need a more professional environment with real training in all aspects of office tasks and office behavior. Make that kind of job your goal, and meanwhile, take care how you use what seem like joking labels.

I had a boss that would do that so I would let him do the yelling or belitteling and then I would calmly say "I can't possibly be as dumb as you are making M. sound." Or, "Am I really as dumb as you are making M. feel?" I had do do that a few times but it always stopped him in his tracks at the time and he finally started treating M. with respect and catching himself before he started acting like an idiot. My biggest problem was keeping myself from crying each time. Good luck.

I've worked for uptight people and I know people who've worked for crazy people like your boss. I disagree with JB - your boss could be bipolar - he may not be - but his behavior is completely unacceptable. My brother worked for a guy like your boss and there he was in his middle 40's, a father, career guy with more than 20 years of experience, a volunteer EMT - a guy who could handle his job, lots of stress and then some - and he too was on the verge of tears, a nervous breakdown, the urge to quit, etc.

I think many people who have created companies from the ground up are people who are driven and highly intelligent. They can also be poeple who expect that everyone just has the innate ability to figure out how to get everything done. They assume everyone should be able to read their mind and if they can't then they're "an idiot". I also think that insanity & genius walk a very fine line. I think there are many people who are highly intellignet and also have an underlying mental health problem. I think your description of your boss shows that he does as well. No mentally healthy person flips out on their employees on a regular basis. we all have a really bad day once in a long while - but not all the time.

You really, really need to look for a new job. I don't know why you think there's nothing out there - you have some college and a high school "degree". GED or diploma - it doesn't matter. You should spend an hour a day searching onjline job-sites. You can find something - I'm certain.

do not let this boss beat you down psychologically. He's wrong. Get out of there!

Get a notebook and pen and keep it in your pocket while at work. When the boss hands you a stack of work and starts to walk away say 'hold on a minute'. Then look at the work he handed you then tell him I can do A now, B a bit later but remember I have only been here a few weeks and I am not sure how to do or I've haven't been trained on C. Also write it down in the notebook and have him sign or initial it then the date and time. If he won't sign or intial at least he knows you have it written down.

I have worked for bosses like yours. And while they may not be clinically bi-polar. It is a good way to describe them.
I was hired for an outside sales position several years ago for a company with multiple products after about an hour and half of training I was told to start cold calling and sell. HUH????? Then I went out and picked up business cards to call decision makers to set appointments. I was given the end of the conference room table as a work area and told to remove everything when I left. Then I got yelled at for using the phone. And was told I should go home and use my phone to make the calls.

My best advice is to do the best job possible under the circumstances and polish up you resume and start posting it on employment sites.

Your casual use of the word "bipolar" to describe your boss tells M. all I really need to know about your education and maturity level. If you really want to better your position in the world, you can start with not ignorantly characterizing someone's behavior by casually using a term that's actually a specific medical diagnosis to describe the behavior.

Your boss isn't biposlar just a jerk. If the company you work for has email, make the email work for you in effectively communicating with him. Even though he is the boss, he doesn't have an inherent right to talk to you with anything less than respect. It doesn't matter what level of education you have or don't have. Since you have been there it would be a great idea for you to update your resume since now you have different experience on it and shop it around.

In the meantime and between time. Everytime he gives you an assignment you email him asking him for confirmation of the details of the assignment given. If he gives you more than 1 thing to do send him an email that either confirms the order of things or asks him the order of things.

When he yells at you because that is his style, not because you have done anything worth yelling about, let him know you were awaiting his confirmation email letting you know how to proceed forward. This way you have an email that this is what he told you to do and the order it needs to be done in.

EXAMPLE:
Boss asks you to file some documents, call a client to confirm a meeting and finish a spreadsheet. You could ask him what is the order of priority or you could email him. The email would look like this.
Based on our conversation you asked M. to file the documents, call this client and finish a spreadsheet. I'm sending you an email to discover from you the priority on these tasks. Please understand I will not move forward until I receive a response from you confirming the order of the tasks requested.
Then you don't move forward until he gives you written clarification. Hold him accountable for everything via email. Yes it's a pain in the butt however, you have a paper trail that marks him as the offender.

Remember to blind copy your personal email and perhaps an interested 3rd party like your boyfriend or mentor or someone else who isn't with this company. Alway CYA (cover your @ss).

I've done this and it is empowering and liberating. No more need to stress, just shift the stress back at him by holding him responsible for everything you do literally. This email trail may become helpful if you have to leave the company and possibly file a law suit.

His treatment of you is abusive and should not be tolerated even if you need the job. I hope this helps.

I like Rev Ruby's suggestion to use a notebook to write down what he tells you to do, as he tells you, and then get HIM to initial the answers to your questions. I am afraid that if you email him saying you won't proceed until you hear back via email, that he will ignore the emails and will be screaming at you for not having started.

Have you talked to the other people there to find out how they handled him when they were new and just learning the ropes?

I understand why you are calling him bipolar. Maybe he is and maybe he isn't. It is a good way to describe his behavior. I don't see you as immature for using the term. I do appreciate that you are young and inexperienced in the workplace. I hope that you find another job. Whatever you do, don't talk about the problems you have with this one when you are interviewing for the next job. If there is ANYONE in the office who you can call your "supervisor", give that name instead of the big boss's name when you apply for other positions. Maybe you'll be lucky enough that they won't call the big boss for a reference.

I have only hated one person during my life and it was an old boss who made M. feel the same way. Best thing was getting out of there and finding a better job. Now I'm the boss and I am sure those days shaped M. into a kind and fair business owner and manager. Don't stay in that toxic environment, start working on finding a better fit.

In the meantime, ask questions about priority and deadlines. Ask questions if you don't know how to do something. Be as patient as you can, but gently remind him that you would love to have his requests via email, so you can track them. If he yells at you, tell him in a clear and calm voice, "Do not yell at M." or "You do not need to yell". He's a bully and he needs to hear you speak up for yourself.