Binkies and Other Forms of Self-comfort

hi, we did the same thing with the binky(went down to nap/bedtime). now im not sure if you were interested in taking the binky away, but at 3, this worked great for us. right after her 3rd birthday, we started talking about the binky fairy, and how she comes and gets all the binkys from the big kids to give to the babies at the hospital but she leaves any extra special present. we sat down and wrote the binky fairy and letter telling her the special present we would like. the first night, she changed her mind, but we kept talking about the special present she asked for. the 2nd night she was ready. we ran out to the mailbox and put all her binkies inside. she went to sleep fine. the next morning, we ran out to the mailbox and there were all presents inside. you could even put balloons or decorations to make it seem special. she was so excited. only 3 times since then did she ask for a binky, and we simply told her the binky fairy came and took them all and we didnt have any. she said she wanted them back and wanted us to get more at the store, then went to sleep and never said it again.

it was a great experience and at 3, her teeth shouldnt be damaged and she has the understanding to explain things like the binky fairy. also, dentists will prefer items that you can take away vs allowing something like thumbsucking to start.

for the other things, my nephew is the same way. he plays with the little tag on the back inside of his pants. big comfort thing. they have tried talking about it with him (3 1/2 yrs old) and he says he understands, but he just cant help himself. your daughter probaly feels safe because no matter what, her nipples are always with her, kwim. dont reintroduce the binky as its better to get rid of that for the teeth, but instead, try introducing something else, like a stuffed animal, blankie, maybe she would like a taggie blanket since its gives something tactile. or maybe try to find something more suitable for her to use like this http://panachechic.wordpress.com/2008/06/08/onyx-donut-sh... or maybe some sort of jelly bracelet. something she can use for comfort, but not to stand out too much. i know its not solving the problem, but some kids need that comfort to deal. and some people do have oral fixations.

since she is starting school, it might be a great time to try to introduce some new special object and have it be school only like have her only put on the necklace as she is leaving for school and take it off when she gets home. and just explain to her she cant put anything in her mouth at school but if she really needs something she can use her special necklace.

the only other option would be to just tell her she isnt allowed to put anything in her mouth at school per the teachers instructions, and just hope for the best. being around the other kids, she may be so distracted, she wont do it. unless they tell you she is doing it, you wouldnt even know, so it might not be an issue for either of you. maybe she stops, maybe she doesnt but its not detrimental. well, good luck to you, cant wait to hear how she does:)

Hi C.,
i have to start by saying my baby is only 6 months old but i do have 2 other children.i have a problem with pacifiers and i really didnt want to give her one..but it comes a time when u feel like u have to. I suggest u just b a little patient because she will get out of her bad habits eventually..u just have to tell ya baby no,no when it comes to her playing with her nipples. I know that must b disturbing.anyway i wish u luck and hope that she begans to realize that no,no means dont do it...good luck

I would suggest taking the binky away totally and maybe try to find a special something to replace it with. My 4 1/2 year old son loves his blanket and takes it everywhere. I took his binky away around 12 mos. because it never gets easier (as you know). Good luck!

Hi C.. We have dealt with the nipple issue as well as hands & other things in the mouth.
Ok, first - nipples. That is a private body part. We told our son that if he wanted to play with his nipples that was fine, but he had to do it in private, so to go into the bathroom or to bed. After a short while, it was too much of a hassle to stop what he was doing to go into a room by himself so he stopped - or maybe he didn't & just does it in private, I guess I don't know. BUT he doesn't do it around other people or constantly anymore and that was the goal.
For the hands going in the mouth, we used Mavala Stop. We told our children that if you are still putting your hands/fingers/thumb in your mouth at 3 y/o they will start to taste bad. That is your bodys way of telling you that it is not good for you. Then we put the Stop on at night when they were asleep. It didn't take more than a few times for that habit to be broken.
A far as other things in the mouth go - I'm sure there is a better approach, but since I was never able to think of one- I tend to ask if they know where something has been. Do they remember when it fell on the floor of the bathroom at the store (even if it didn't - at this age they are easy enough to fool)? How do they know it doesn't have poopy on it? With my oldest 2, this worked and my youngest it still too little to know what will happen.

Hi C.
You are certainly a busy mom. I had my twins when I was 40 & it was so different than having the boys at 20. Everything seemed to be magnified, maybe it was just because they were twins, but I think my age had something to do with it.
I taught preschool for years, loved the classes of 3 year olds that I had. I taught 20 years but never full time. I saw alot of kids go through my classes in those years, even though many of those years were only one day a week so that mine would be able to play with other kids. Anyway in all those years, I only had one 3 year old come with a binky. She never needed it during school, and I was steadfast that it had to stay in the lunchbox. It did.
This is what I told that mom, and it worked. Tell your daughter that 3 year olds(pick any day) can't have binkies. The dentist says that your teeth will _________ (protrude). Tell her to look at her friends, or watch when she sees kids big like her, they don't have them and you want her to know so that she chooses to not have it anymore by the time she is 3. Talk about it when you see kids at the store, emphazing the you guessed their mom like you didn't want them to have to "have braces to fix their teeth" ""have the dentist fix their teeth. Especially if you see a baby with one, say see binkies are for babies that don't have all their teeth. Be bold and ask mom "how many teeth the baby has" You get the idea. Then when she turns three, because that day will come, if she hasn't already thrown it away, say it has to go. If you don't want it to be on her birthday, so it the day before so she doesn't wake up with it in the morning.
As far as putting other things into her mouth, that is just wrong and needs constant correction. She sounds like a real oral child who needs lots of oral stimulation, gets pleasure from it. Call a dentist and ask what he suggests. They sell guards to prevent sport injuries perhaps getting her something like that would be the good consequence for "keeping her teeth straight"
Has she been to dentist? Maybe going and informing him ahead of time the dentist would help you out with the situation. Just a thought. It is hard to break habits.
God bless you and your family.
K. married 38 years, mom to boys 37, and 32, and the twins are now 18 and heading to college in just a few weeks.

how about chewy tubes...its actually a therapy product so you might want to ask your dr first...you can do a google on it and find out more

Hi C.,

Well all I can recommend as a mother but most importantly as a dental professional is that you NOT re-introduce the binki and if at all possible eliminate it all together. It is TERRIBLE for teeth and will cause her problems that may lead to braces and other orthodontic treatment years down the road. I think that putting the other things in her mouth with taper off as she grows. Just hang in there and continue to enforce that nothing except food should ever be in her mouth.
Good Luck
Renee H