Hi Ladies,
Unfortunately, my boys inherited my ears. My oldest son who is 8-years-old says that some kids call him Dumbo at school. I tell him that we're all different and that we all come in different shapes and sizes. That as he grows so will other parts of his body. He says that he doesn't mind being called Dumbo, but the name calling could get worst in the future and I don't want it to turn into bullying. How should he respond to them?
Thank you for your helpful advice. A few posters have recommended to have his ears pinned back. I just want to clarify that his ears don't stick out, they're just larger than most of his classmates.
Sounds like you are handling it perfectly so far. I liked Mrs. L's advice.
one more thing.......consider longer hair. I know you shouldn't have to do that, but kids can be mean and it might detract from the whole issue.
My husband had big ears that stuck literally straight out from his head at 80 degree angles...I have seen his childhood pictures and woah nelly. He did grow into them and now they are actually the correct size on his adult head.
He told me I think before we were even married that if our kids got his ears...we would be paying for plastic surgery to have them pinned back. He was dead serious. He said he got so much teasing and flicking of his ears over the years that it would be worth any cost to save our children the experience.
I know this is not going to be a popular opinion but if you could afford to see a plastic surgeon maybe it would be worth it. (like over the summer or a school break).
I would get my kids braces to straighten their teeth, or have other issues fixed why not ears? My daughter had an eye that drifted and we had surgery to correct it (that was medical because she would lose vision in that eye if we didn't...but my husband was all for fixing it either way). My parents put me in corrective shoes to straighten my knock knees.
I know some people will say he should just learn to deal with it and it will make him stronger...but I just personally have a different opinion. HUGS!!!
I agree with Retta. If it is not an issue now, let it go. But as he gets older it is a consideration to have them pinned back. I had read an article a long time ago of a 9 year old kid whose ears stuck straight out and it was messing with his self esteem. He told his parents when he turns 13 he wanted the surgery as a B day gift. See how your son feels as he grows.
As much bullying occurs under the radar at school, encourage your child to walk away (which diffuses the bullier) as well as to tell an adult at school (and you). However, as the adult, DO make the teacher aware of it as it is their responsibility for your child to feel safe at school and it should be addressed, whether seen or not. A teacher can and should teach lessons on community, respect, etc. Be careful to not accuse or attack the teacher, best to relay your concerns calmly.
My poor husband had ears like this too(and my father and brother), his stuck out some, but they were long and just big. They still are, but fortunately, as he grew, his ears are now more proportianate to his head. You don't really notice his large ears, unless you really stare at his features and pick them apart.
If your son isn't really bothered by the comments, then I would take that as, he's being "cool" about it, so kids may not tease him all that much if they aren't getting a rise out of him. Perhaps you are just feeling your normal motherly instinct and feeling bad for him, understandably so.
P.S. Don't tell him that your ears never stop growing!!
Maybe he could say something like "Does it make you feel better about yourself to pick on someone for something they have no control over? Well, I hope it helped." Smile, walk away and leave it at that. Most people, if you confront them in a calm and direct manner about their actions will get flustered and leave you alone. Especially if it seems like they have made themselves the object of curiosity to you instead of upsetting you as they had planned. Most people that bully are made very uncomfortable by close scrutiny and will avoid it if they can. It's one of the reasons they bully in the first place; to deflect attention from their own shortcomings.
My husband grew up with ears that stuck straight out. He said the teasing was horrible but he did not let it get under his skin. I found that hard to imagine so questioned further. He said being called Dumbo was the most common and he would reply, "That's original", or "Is that all you got" and simply move on. He did, however, choose to have his ears pinned back when he was a young adult. If our children would of inherited his ears, I would consider having this corrective surgery earlier in life IF they wanted it.
Getting his ears pinned back is a really simple surgery. We straighten teeth, -- why not straighten his ears?
Instead of letting him have to build character, I don't see the harm in getting his ears pinned back at whatever age the doctors deem appropriate.
Didn't Dumbo become the most loved in the Circus? The more energy he puts into a response, the more energy the negative comments will come back. In the meantime a Bieberor similar hairstyle is popular and would cover if he wants to. It make take time to grow out and accomplish but not long.
In my very non-adult response to it...it's genetics and my parents look good at their age so I have a great future...I've seen your parents and your future in modeling isn't bright.
M.,
My daughter who is 14, has big ears as well. The kids at school would say mean things to her. I told her she had Julia Roberts ears. When the kids would say things to her, my daughter would just simply say they were jealous because she has Julia Roberts ears and they did not. After that, they left her alone. Good luck with this. Kids can be so mean.
Lisa
there is a simple surgery they can do that will tack the ears to the head more so they don't stick out.
or you can prepare him with a come back about Obama having big ears too and that he'll be a future president cause he also has big ears
