I'm having an issue with my almost 4 month old daughter when I'm not at home. I work 2 hours away from home, 2 days a week, and work from home the rest. When I'm gone, I'm gone for almost 13 hours a day :(
She's had issues taking a bottle since I went to work and its just been unbearable for anyone who takes care of her when I'm gone (usually my husband, who is a mostly-stay-at-home dad of our 3 under 3 years old) because she screams and screams...and she only stops when she is picked up or is napping. We've tried almost everything to get her to take a bottle. She takes its, but does not like it. Some days she'll even only drink 2 ounces a day. I've talked to a lactation consultant and they said some babies are like that, but I've also read that it happens to moms who are away from home 6-8 hours a day -- I'm almost double that.
I've thought about things like taking her to work (which will probably never be possible) and working from home another day a week (I doubt my employer would allow another day at home), and I'm just at wits end. I am saddened at the idea that she is home screaming most of the day when I'm not there. When I'm there, she comes to me for feedings, and then is back with the other kids, and she doesn't scream, as if she knows I'm home. Any ideas?
As long as Daddy or caretaker hold her often, sing and play with her and UNDERSTAND this is a phase... it should be fine. My daughter did the same thing until just past 1 years old.
How long has it been that you've been back at work? It's amazing how stubborn a little 4 month old can be isn't it. I went back to work when my daughter was 4 months and a friend of mine watched her. I was gone about 10-11 hours/day, but it was M-F. Right before going back to work, we tried to get my daughter to take breast milk from a bottle, and she would have nothing to do with it, no matter who attempted the bottle. I tried leaving the house, that didn't work either. I was in a panic. Then, it was time to go back, and my friend was watching her, she also had a few foster kids, the youngest was a month or 2 older than my daughter. Anyway, she had success, I don't know if it was being in a new environment, or seeing another baby with a bottle, or just my friend's determined practical attitude, or "that a baby will eat/drink when hungry enough", but it worked for her, where it hadn't before that point.
It sounds like, when you are working at home, you have someone helping out (so that you can actually work while you're home), is that person your husband, or do you have someone else helping? I would maybe try to develope a routine where one person (not you) gives all the daytime feedings, even though this will mean more pumping on your part. If that doesn't work, you might want to look at care outside your own house for the days that you are in the office, but the question would be whether that made sense financially. It is heartbreaking to have your little one so upset, and it definitely adds an extra layer of guilt to us moms that have to work. Good luck!
Is she eating solids yet? I know this is crazy, but what I did with mine who was like that was to put a lot of milk with a little rice cereal and literally fed it to him by spoon. It was very soupy, but at least he could get his milk and feel better! Your baby would probably need at least two feedings while you are away, factoring in her napping, but this might work. At four months she probably needs at least 6 ounces, so I would pour that in a bowl and add just a little rice and see how she does. I know it's tedious, but it worked for us until mine would accept a bottle which was not until like 8 months!! But I didn't start solids until 6 months and it was after he was used to anything other than the breast that made him willing to do a bottle. Good luck!
.
Keep up the milk supply freeze your milk if you plan on keeping your job.Also get a receiving blanket, stuffed animal, a wash towel,a toy that she loves that is fabric put it in your bra the scent of you will linger on the item & will help soothe her.
You are away from home for 13 hrs how are you coping?I personally can't be gone for more than 2-3 hrs.
Baby is fine no health issues,not teething,ear infections that will cause her to become more cranky she is getting burped after feeedings?Do you feel that your husband is taking good care of her doing all that he can to soothe her keep her happy, warm, well feed?Your baby is missing her mama she is crying out for you.
i am at sahm, but i do pump and have other bottlefeed my baby. at one point, she would only take the bottle when she was in her carseat and not being held by anyone. i also used handles on my bottles for her (as my bottles have sippy cup tops and handles that are interchangable- tommee tippee).
i would try and feed her in a highchair or seat with a bottle.
best of luck!
I had a similar issue, although my daughter was older. I finally got the following advice from my lactation consultant - cut her off for at least 24 hours, and until she takes the bottle readily (from your husband).
It is amazing how long little ones can hold out, and just get crankier and crankier. We tried everything else, different bottles, holding her, not holding her. She had to learn that if she wanted to eat, she had to take her milk from a bottle.
The learning lasted a number of months, but slowly the amount she would take went down and down again. Fortunately by that point we just transitioned her to regular milk when I was not at home.
Good luck. I remember how hard it was. Unfortunately, I think it is harder because you are only gone 2 days a week
My daughter was the same way. We tried 24-hours of bottle only (with pumped breastmilk), but she would still refuse bottles again after another day or so. I went back to work full-time when she was 4 months old. The next 2 months were agonizing, but it did get a little better once we could mix some cereal with breastmilk around 6 months old and daycare teachers could spoon-feed her soupy cereal. In the meantime, we tried every brand of bottle. Since then, I heard about a couple ideas that we didn't try. Have you tried a medicine dropper? It is slow, but at least she could drink 1-2 ounces per feeding instead of 2 ounces per work-shift! She can also learn how to be cup-fed (we tried this...very messy and I decided I didn't want to lose half of my breastmilk to this method, but my daughter could drink almost an ounce per feeding this way). Also, have you tried the Medela supplemental feeding system? It is meant to be attached to the breast, but it can also be attached to a finger, palm-side up, so that she can be "finger fed." The good news is that you can try working on sippy/straw cups around 5-6 months old, and she will probably be good at using them by 7-8 months old! By 9 months old, we totally abandoned bottles and were completely using sippy cups. (My daughter never drank formula, so you should keep pumping away even if most of the milk isn't being consumed! Later you can add it to her food.) Good luck. Yes, it is a terrible thing to have to deal with--trust me, I understand--but you will find a way to get the milk in her somehow.... even if you have to stay up at night to make up for a extra feeding or two!
