Beyond Potty Training Question

My daughter used to do this. I think it was out of laziness. I hate to say that about her but I think most kids are lazy when it comes to things that interfere with there play time. I started making her change her clothes herself. She got really sick of that after a few days and just stopped.

I don't see the big deal about going to the potty with her she's still little. My five year old still sometimes wants me to go with him to the potty. He just likes to talk to me while he's using the restroom. It's not a big deal to take some time and go with her. You could always say something like "I'll go with you this time but maybe the next time you can go by yourself." Don't stress about it. Just remember one of these days, she might not want you to go anywhere with her, so take every second you can with her. Good luck.

I don't know what to say about the accidents without warning (like when you two were talking to each other) but about her waiting for you to go with her - just go with her! She's only 3 1/2, she still needs you. My son is 3 1/2 and he wants me to go with him too, even if he doesn't need my help. Just go with her. And children act completely different with other people than they do with their parents, so it's not surprising she is fine at pre-school.

I think some people may have misinterpreted what you were saying here. I don't think you don't want to take her to the bathroom, rather sometimes when she REALLY needs to go, she needs to go straight to the bathroom, then call for you once she's on the potty. I see nothing wrong with encouraging that.

My daughter had a few accidents because she was playing and didn't think about it or didn't realize until there wasn't enough time to get to the potty.

Rewards are great, but I would also suggest scheduling potty breaks. Even a few with her going by herself with you nearby. That may give her the confidence she needs to routinely go straight to the potty instead of feeling the need to wait for you. I would say every hour and a half to two hours prompt her to take a potty break even if she doesn't feel she needs to go. I have a feeling this might be what they do at her pre-school. You can take her, then sometimes she can go on her own.

Good luck. Let us know how things turn out.

R.,

Little kids don't have much they are in control over, so sometimes they dig their feet in to get their way. Maybe for just a short while she 'needs' you to go with her. Maybe she's afraid of something in the bathroom at home, ever been a large spider in there? I think some times we forget we can meet them halfway and gradually resolve an issue. Find a middle ground, be it you'll stand in the hall, or Mommy will go with you every other time. "We'll take turns. Mommy will go sometimes and sometimes not because she's busy cleaning or whatever, and so let's take turns". Get her to compromise for you and you for her. She'll get the Mommy cares enough to come with me message, and feel in control of this obviously important to her issue. You'll get to show her she can do this w/o you.

She'll realize it's not so important and soon enough stop even asking you to go with her. We can be gentle and firm at the same time.

~P.
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I do want to share with you that I have seen the six month relapse SOOOO many times. I work at a Mother's Day Out, and it seems like a good number of children - regardless of the age of their potty training - had a relapse after about six months and would have regular accidents. My daughter was one of them - and most of the accidents are at home, not at school.

Don't be afraid to give rewards. A sticker, one M&M, a point toward an end of day reward, something. Start with small goals and work up from there. For exapmle, at first it can be every time she goes to the bathroom without you or without having an accident. Then you can begin to wean her off of it and gradually end up with the treat coming at the end of the day for being dry all day. Be prepared - you will probably successfully go through this, have a great few weeks, be able to go off the reward system, and then need to start it again after a month or two. That's okay. The second round will be shorter.

I have a 4 yr old daughter and she started doing the same thing. We never had a problem and then all of the sudden she started having accidents. She never had accidents at preschool only at home. She said that she did not want to stop playing long enough to go to the bathroom. We added the "staying dry" reward to the other small chores at the end of the week. It has worked great. She knew what she needed to do she just did not want to do it.

it sounds like she just wants your attention. what would it hurt to just stop every few hours, and take her to the potty? she is still little, and if she is away from you during the day at school, she may just really miss you.

for now i would suggest setting a timer. say if she goes about every 2 hours set the kitchen timer for ever hour and 50 mins and have her go to the bath room and try. have there been any major changes at home? divorce or anything? that can cause a child to regress or maybe new to day care??? and she feels comfort in having you near her all the time. good luck!

My daughter did that too. I don't know why she regressed. I guess the excitement of potty training was gone. I started making her go to the bathroom every 2 hours wether she needed to or not. She did not like that. So after about a week she was back on track wanting to do it herself instead of being told to go.
Hope this helps.
Steph

R.,

This happen to my son right before he turned 4. I did not know at the time, but the Dr Told me later in his case it was because he had been so constipated for so long it effects their knowing when to go and or they can lose control of their peeing too. This might not be the case but I thought I would let you know it could be this.

Good Luck
B.
ftwm of two 4 yr old boy and 7 months girl, married to a wonderful dad for 12 yrs