Good Day Ladies,
My husband has quit smoking for 11 days, I'm so proud of him!!! I know it's hard for him, he's been doing it for 20 years... Please give many any advice that will help me be more supportive to him. I've never been a smoker and so glad that I didn't go down that path, but I have been around it all of my life with both parents smoking. My dad is doing very poorly and been hospitalize twice in the past 2 months because of his breathing, he'll quit for 2 weeks and start back up. Anyway, my husband is having the 2 week itch and I do want to continue, and I want to be positive and help him quit, but sometimes I just want to buy him a pack so he's in a better mood.
Please help, all opinions and suggestions are welcome...
thank you!
Thank you All! I bought a lot of gum and he's been chewing it like crazy. He has went "Cold Turkey" not using anything. He was positive himself the first few days.
I did have a co-worker tell me I need to spend more "quality" time with him... it sure would be easier if he was nicer... but maybe more will do the trick...
I do try to be very positive for him, encouraging telling him it's one day at a time... I do tell him I'm not buying him anymore... We already talked about how much we are saving a month ($100) which is always needed for us anyway.
Thank you all very much, I do appreciate it!!!
I quit smoking over 15 yrs. ago. i had smoked over 30 yrs. I asked my Dr. for a mild tranquilizer and took one when I felt I couldn't make it.That really worked for me.
A friend recently quit smoking. She has been using the electronic cigarette. She smokes it and it seems to satisfy the craving for nicotine. I think she ordered the cigarette online.
Maybe worth a try?
Do not buy him a pack!!
Get him gum, beef jerky, sun flower seeds, hard candy he can suck on or something else. He needs to do deep breathing techniques. It isn't just the nicotine, but it's the breaks and deep breathing as the smoker draws in that is also addictive psychologically. I don't know, I smoked for several years and quit cold turkey.... about a month later, I gave in on a very stressful day, had a cigarette and it almost made me throw up! That was my last one ever.
I would also suggest (if this applies in your household) to try to avoid drinking anything alcoholic in nature. I smoked for a few weeks when I was a young adult (21ish) and even though I discontinued the practice and never missed it... for about 2 years... if I had wine or beer--- I would crave a smoke from a friend. They just "go" together. So try to avoid social activities where alcohol will be served. It will help with his cravings to not have that going on.
My hubby went through it with me. I smoked for about 8 yrs or so before I quit. I used the patch all the time, also used dum dums. I had a sucker in my mouth constantly for the first 4 weeks. The thing that really helped was the positive reward system I came up with. Every day the first two weeks I gave myself something small as a reward (nail polish, a cute pen, etc) Then I would give myself weekly gifts for the next 4 weeks slightly bigger. Then It was once a month till my one year mark. I figured If I could make it one year I could make it the rest of my life, but my hubby did buy me a laptop computer for my 2 year cessation. My anger was the one thing that was hard to control. It took several years for me to control outbursts. It used to be when I got mad, I would go smoke. Once that was out of the equation, I had no clue how to be mad without hurting people around me. I think it is safe to say I am over that now and I am proud to say it has been about 12 years since I quit! For people that do not smoke, please do not assume it is easy to quit, I tried 3 times to quit, it is not easy! The persons will has to be stronger then the habit they are hooked to.
The cravings are a challenge, but so are the habits of smoking - when/where/why, etc. Try to help him find ways to replace the smoking with other things. Ex. If he smokes before breakfast, what can he do instead of the smoke before breakfast, etc. good luck!
I read somewhere a list of 5 things smokers wish the rest of us knew. One of them was not to use guilt or scare tactics to try and pursuade them. They already know that stuff and tune you out the minute you go down that road. I know that's not what you're doing. I'm saying that to say - they suggest the best way to be supportive is to be positive. Say things like - think how proud the kids are going to be when you kick this. Come here and kiss me, I forgot how good you taste when you aren't smoking. I'm so glad you decided to do this for us and stick around a little longer.
DOnt do it! let him know you're proud, maybe you could calculate how much $ he's already saved and buy him something? or take him to a movie (not a chick flick) something to reward his efforts and praise him.
I am answering as a person who currently smokes and has done so for over 40 years (I have experience with failing to quit), and my husband died at the age of 52 from complications related to pneumonia and long term smoking. With that said my suggestions are: Don't be the one to bring up the subject of smoking at all, he may bring it up and then you can say something supportive, but if he has managed to get his mind off smoking don't be the one to get his mind back on it. Try to have lots of things around to snack and nibble on, low calorie would be good, but anything that he can satisfy oral gratification works, pretzel sticks, pop corn, celery or carot sticks, grapes, M&M's, you get the idea, stuff that he can put in his mouth and they also give him something to do with his hands. He might put on a little weight but that is better than smoking, and if he puts on much he can always take up something like walking or running which would help with both quitting smoking and controling weight.
My final suggestion is be forgiving if he is grumpy and even if he slips. It took one member of my family five years to quit - it was quit, start back, quit for a bit longer, start back, quit, over and over, finally after five years he never started back and has been smoke free for over 20 years. Good wishes to both of you.
I'm trying to quit too.. it's hard. I get very temper mental. Just the fact that you WANT to be supportive... you already are :) GOOD FOR HIM!!
make him a goodie bag :) put in gum, suckers, mints, hard candy. Anything he can toss in his mouth when in need of a cigarette.
Not sure if he taking anything to help him, but both my mom and my husband found Nicotine Lozenges/patches REALLY helpful when they quit.
Good luck!
Ah, yes, I went through this with my husband when we first got married. He was determined to quit because we were married and had a new baby and he really wanted to be around for a very long time. It was hard at first because he was SO moody and cranky; and the fact we had a new baby didn't help to ease the tension. But he suffered through the cravings and so far he hasn't smoked a single cigarette since he quit cold turkey eight years ago. My advice is to just take a deep breath (for yourself) and know that he will be in a better mood soon, he just needs to get through the initial pain of breaking the habit.
Also, anything that distracts him would also probably help. My husband played quite a few video and computer games to distract him when he was tempted to smoke; does your husband have anything he could do to deal with those times he's really tempted?
That is awesome that you are being so supportive of him, hang in there and you'll both get through it! :-)
Good for him!
Don't buy him a pack!
Buy him his favorite gum or snack instead...and when you see he is becoming grouchy or irritated maybe bust out with some lovin' or kissing??
I'm with the last poster: The offer of good lovin' is a great way to get his mind off of his cravings and put him in a better mood! A win-win for both of you!
Don't help him give in to cravings. Get him some gum, some candy, anything but the thing he chose to give up. It'll be rough, but he'll probably thank you for it down the road after he's kicked the habit for good.
