Being Succesful with a Behavior Chart and Stickers

You might consider re-wording your expectations to reflect behaviors you want them to SHOW rather than AVOID. For young kids (and for all of us) it can be difficult to simply refrain from a behavior, especially if it is one that is already habitual.

Phrasing positively might also help you get a little more specific about what you want from them. "No competition" could mean a million things. Are you saying they can't play ANY game with a winner? No racing? From your description above I might use "Be a good loser" instead along with "wait your turn" and "give a turn to others". You could also add "Be a kind winner" as the companion piece.

Similarly "use kind words" instead of no bad language etc.

You might also want to give them the possibility of earning MORE stickers per day (but needing a correspondingly higher number for the reward as well). The trouble with just ONE sticker for the WHOLE day is that if they mess up in the morning there is no incentive to IMPROVE their behavior during the day because they've already failed. Maybe one sticker for meeting each expectation, but then they need 50 to earn a treat.

Last, I'd suggest setting the reward ahead of time. "A candy bar", rather than "a candy bar or something small" will avoid having to negotiate about what counts as a reward (which could undermine the whole reward idea if they feel like they didn't get what they wanted).

Hope this helps.

Well, charts and stickers are really good for kids to one extent. They can see how they are doing. BUT...sometimes they need an instant reward. They don't always have the ability to wait and associate that reward with the action that got it.

I do think they are good for big rewards but you might do better with an instant reward at the end of each day too. I think the candy bar and something small at the store should be for small things. That's really a small reward for days of good behavior. Perhaps you can adjust it to where they get more rewards each day and then their chart is for a bigger reward.

Just a thought. I used the Halloween size packages of M&M's, Skittles, stuff from the Dollar Tree, etc...cheap items that are not too much. That really worked.

But the final thing is that this baby sitter needs to man up and learn how to deal with the kids arguing and try to teach them to work things out on their own. It is soooooo hard. I have one that has behaviors nd one that will lock herself in her room to get a break from her brother. It's hard. I KNOW!

But as the babysitter your kids come first and her kids may not be able to be there for her to be effective with your kids.

So they get a sticker for every please and thank you? They could earn 10 stickers in like a day, right? What exactly is the babysitter complaining about? I think you need to start there. Sounds like the sharing and taking turns in the biggest deal. They are at an age where they can wait for the reward. But is the candy bar or small item what they really want? My son is 4 and we use a sticker chart (we use star stickers on the calendar so he can really understand) and it usually is for things outside his comfort zone. I think need to base the chart on the complaints of the sitter since they usually don't complain unless there really is an issue. Maybe in the beginning, make the reward instant like going out for icecream or whatever they like.

Ok, then just make the chart about being a good sport and in general, following the rules. I would have them decide the reward...within reason of course.

At their ages, waiting nearly two weeks for a reward is a very long time. I'd make things a bit easier to earn -- a small reward after five stickers, a bigger one at sticker number 10. Deferring rewards is harder for younger kids, and over the summer, the system will lose its interest for them if it takes too long to see any reward. Older kids can wait a lot longer for a bigger reward.

I would also have the rewards right there. Sticker number five goes up, reward is instantly in hand, rather than having to make a trip to a store. Also a trip to the store could result in "I'd rather have that thing over there instead of a candy bar" issues. We kept a black bag of rewards hidden at home, and my daughter got to reach into it and pluck something out of the mystery bag -- she loved that as it adds some excitement and the reward is not the same thing every time. If they always, only get candy bars, again, they may lose interest after a while. Mix it up even if that means putting different but desired types of candy into a mystery bag. We also used notebooks, cool pen and pencil sets, small books, small toys, balls, etc.

I might also revisit the rules for which the kids are earning stars. It might work better if you have very specific and concrete things that get stars, rather than something very broad, which I think "Sharing and taking turns" is....unless the sitter is giving a check mark or something each time she sees sharing take place. I'd have her sing out, "I saw you share right now! Good job. Now you get a check mark toward today's star" or something like that and she should put a check mark on the chart somehow--the moment she spots the good behavior. It just seems a little vague to have "manners and sharing" as a chart-- usually charts are for very specific behaviors. I'd add in some chores too -- a check for putting toys away the first time they're asked, or one child has the daily chore of X and the other the daily chore of Y. That's specific.

Just be sure to keep the kids' interest up or in a few weeks they'll tire of it and the sitter will have more issues. As another person who posted said -- maybe the sitter needs to learn how to work with the kids so they learn to resolve things on their own. That goes beyond charts and into the sitter's experience and abilities.