I cared, but pretended not to until one rather spectacular tantrum in a grocery store when my son was 2 or 3.
I did like I always did. Parked the cart out of the way, scooped him up, and headed outside.
I have a house rule that "When you throw a fit, you don't get what you want". This particular time, he wanted to go home. OR the car. He was quite emphatic about it. So we marched (well, I marched, he did the full body flail in my arms) outside, I took him to the middle of the front (most out of the way) sat him on a hay bale, and we rode out the tantrum.
OF COURSE I'm in full body flop sweats, my naturally curly hair rising to texan proportions of "big" from the sweat, icewater for blood, my stomach in my throat, and my self esteem somewhere under my shoes. While 99.682 percent of my attention was on him, out of the corner of my eyes I'm noticing (and pretending to ignore) all the people passing by.
Tantrum passes. Tears get wiped away. Chubby little hand in mine, he walks back inside with me and apologizes to the checkers.
Right about then this 4 foot nothing, very posh (perfectly coiffed hair, impecable clothes and jewels, spine ramrod straight), very elderly woman steams right up to me.
I didn't know my stomach could get into MORE knots.
She comes right up to us, gives me a big smile, and pats me on the shoulder.
"You're doing just FINE." she declared, nodded in finality, and clicked briskly off.
That pat on the shoulder cured me of caring what other people think. I don't know why. But it did. I wish I could track her down and tell her what a world of difference those few kind words have meant to me in all these coming years.
It wasn't like I did anything different. But from then on... Parenting in Public? No worries. No more flop sweats. No more icewater and pounding heart. No more embarrassment.
Parenting in Public happens. It's when it DOESN'T happen, that there is cause for embarrassment!!! The kid who hits and just gets to stay playing. The kid throwing a tantrum who is given "whatever" (candy, toys, whatever kind of reward) to shush them up rather than "You SHOULD be upset! We don't HIT people. It's so much FUN here, but we have to go home, because you HIT." and all the variations that exist.
And know... that there are dozens of moms, catching that tantrum out of the corner of their eye, and a little smile is playing across our lips. Remembering that age and both how precious it is, and how HANDY that they're small enough to pick up!