Behaviors! (3 Year Old)

Three is the hardest age a child goes through - literally. They are just starting to realize that the world does not revolve around them and they are furious about it. Also, their minds are on overdrive development but they don't have the maturity to handle what comes up there... so they think that if THEY think it, everyone ELSE can hear it or will agree.

It's a tough age all the way around A.. What parents often miss is that talking to kids at this age is what works best. Long talks alone about lots of things - not just the "bad" behavior, will help him to find a ally in the house.

At this stage he desperately needs the message: I CAN THINK AND FEEL AT THE SAME TIME. The reason for this is that they consistently find their feelings directing their thoughts. Both of them being BIG, it is important for them to cognitively start to understand the difference between feelings and thoughts.

Write this message on a piece of paper (or two or three) and place it around the house. Point to it often and talk about it when nothing is going on. When he is having a "fit" remind him that he can think and feel at the same time. What will happen is he will stop the behavior and start to think. This is important - that he THINK instead of behave out of a place of distress.

Don't get caught up in the belief that "this is a stage that he will grow out of." If you don't teach him that he can think and feel, he will never learn to do either and will turn into just another guy who can't relate to his wife and kids later on. And time-outs don't work - they will just make him mad. And with all that time to think and feel without understanding the consequences, he'll be plotting his next move...

All these regressions are involuntary; if giving your child more attention doesn't resolve them, reflex integration therapy can help.

C.

I had an issue with my two year old biting as well. I found the issue was not from myself but from the current daycare facility he was in. I am not sure if your son is in daycare, but it maybe outside sources, so always check those as well!

I found involving my kids in daily activities at home has helped lessoned issues when I had my oldest son. Helping me clean, cook dinner, or with laundry worked. I also made sure we had an hour of time alone at night where we read a book or watched a movie together. I know being a single parent , time is of the essence! Hopefully these things will work for you as they did me!

A.,
I hear you!!!
My three year old does the same stuff.
So frustrating.

Time outs did not work for me on the negative behavior.

Here's is what I figured out: when she would turn crazy, I'd make a guess as to what was wrong. (for instance, "Are you throwing toys/hitting/etc because you want the baby to get out of your space?" Most every time it was that OR she wanted me to give her attention, too.

So, with wanting the baby out of her space, I have worked with her to come and get me, yell for me, whatever she needs to do to get my attention-with words only- and I will come and help her. And in the beginning, I came to help her every single time she called so that she will trust me on it. Sometimes I set her up with her toys on the dining room table, or in a different room. I have also taught her how easy babies are to "trick". Just give them another toy and suddenly they leave you alone!! It's magic!!

Regarding the attention that she needed, I would hold her and kiss her and kind of treat her like a baby-all that good gooey love. I also take out her baby book and we look at it together and tell her stories about how she was when she was her baby sisters age. It makes her light up! (And makes me remember that I DO love her, despite the terrible-threes!)

My baby is 14 months now, and I believe this all helped. They seem to be able to play together now, and the 3yr old knows when she needs time alone and will ask for it.