Behavioral Problems

my daughter now 3 1/2 also was a "difficult" child and still is but she also has social and very poor speech. she has been diagnosed pdd so far (autism just not a specific form so far). Her sleep patterns make her tantrums intensify. I would talk with the doctor to rule any kind of problem like that. What you can do which i do for my daughter also helps with my other two kids is a schedule. we do the same routine everyday and it helps alot with her, and my 6 year old son and 7 month old daughter. She now is in school full time so it is alittle beit easier on me but when she was 2 i put her in daycare for 3 1/2 days a week just for the break and happy relaxed mommie is a better mommie

I am not sure what to say, but I am a clinical psychologist, and I would recommend you take him for an evaluation by a child psychologist (PhD or PsyD). I'm not saying something huge is wrong, because it doesn't sound like it is, but maybe a psychogist can help you figure out ways to curtail things, as well as get to the bottom of his behavior. Good Luck.

You must be exhausted with this hurricane and a baby girl too! You, however, are not alone.

I must second going to the pediatrician. There is something going on and you need to collaborate with your dr to find out what. If your dr blows you off, go to another one. This sounds like a developmental disorder emerging. Rectal digging and feces playing, rigid diet, endless tantrums and food allergies can be hallmarks of many things, Autism included.

God bless you and your family! Let us know how you do.

I agree with all of the posts that advised you to get to your pediatrician & seek Early Intervention services. Your pediatrician should have lists of resources. You could also call your county's Intermediate Unit (IU) for help. If your son is diagnosed with a disorder - any number of the ones mentioned here - he will qualify for a lot of services. Some counties even have services that will come into the home for support and teach you some of their behavior management techniques and therapies. You need to seek outside support now - the earlier the better - not just for your son, but for your whole family. You will be surprised at the support you can get - do not go it alone! If he is diagnosed with something, EDUCATE yourself so that you can ask good questions & seek out the services your son needs.

Please seek help from your child's doctor. All two year olds are rambunctious, curious, etc. But having been a preschool teacher for more than 13 years & seen it "all" this sounds like a deeper issue.

(((A.)))
I have an autistic 3 yr old and from what you have said in your post, I see A LOT of flags for Autism Spectrum Disorder.
What you need to do is address your pediatrican for a opinion (be warned, they aren't trained for it sometimes. Sad I know) and you live in PA so look into early intervention services.
They'll evaluate your child and recommend some type of therepy for him.

Relax it's play time to kids. My son has come a long way.

I worry about you saying he has regressed, and that's part of this. At this age it's VITAL to get an evaluation cause the sooner you get the child help, the more benefical it is for all of you.

I do it all, special preschool, therepy, play group. It's a new way to parent that's for sure.

Ask you doctor for help. Then ask for the numbeer to the early intervention services in your area.

I wish you luck. If you need anything, let me know. I've been there, still doing it kinda of mom.

N.

I don't know if you've talked to your pediatrician about his behavior problems or not, but I would suggest doing so. My son has nut allergies and also drinks soy milk (because he doesn't like dairy milk), but does not show any of these behaviors. He's about 27 months - and he gets into plenty of trouble and doesn't listen to everything I say, but nothing to the level you described. He has picky eating days, but then another day he'll be extra hungry. The playing in his feces thing disturbs me - while it can be just a curiosity thing, it is also a sign of emotional issues that need to be addressed. While all toddlers find plenty of trouble to get into, they typically want to please and make their parent proud of them. It sounds like he is completely unconcerned with doing anything to make you happy and does quite the opposite by causing damage.

Your child's pediatrician should be the first stop for identifying questionable behavior and referrals for resources that may be available or necessary for you and your son. You are clearly feeling plenty of mental and emotional strain in caring for your son and need to reach out for assistance of some kind for your own sake. If you do not get the response you want/need from the pediatrician, you might consider talking to another one in your group or finding a second opinion by asking a friend for a referral to their ped.

A.,
I am going through the same thing with my daughter (turned 3 in March - I have a 14 mo. old son too). We just started seeing a child psychologist to help us because we aren't sure what to do. She was potty trained too and now just refuses to do it. She sneaks all day into cabinets, medicine, lotions, anything she knows not to touch. I can't say that I have an answer, but some suggestions are: Talk with your pediatrician about it and see if they have some insight. Our psychologist recommended this to us and we have set up an appointment this month with her pediatrician. The other thing the psychologist recommended is....send her daycare or preschool or something each week. There is so much tension in the house right now because we are together every day all day and she said that it would be good for both of us to have a break. My daughter started talking really early and now talks to me like a teenager. She is in my face testing me all day sometimes and that is frustrating to me because of the constant confrontation. We started reading 123 Magic (this is on discipline) and it has helped some. Anyway, these are just a few suggestions, but I mainly wanted to encourage you to not be afraid to get help. I have felt so frustrated with my daughter at times and feel like it is my fault and there must be something I'm doing wrong, but that's not the truth. Some kids are really difficult and stubborn and it takes alot of committment on the parents part to keep being consistant, but it's better to deal with it now than later.
Good Luck,
D.

hi i feel you. i have a neighbor who has a son like that he too is 2 yrs old. its like when he comes outside he is like a firecracker and just goes off falls really hard down and it does not phase him he does not stop for anything. she the mother has made a comment that she thinks he has addh? she was going to talk to her ped doctor and see what he thinks she is against medication at this point because he is still so very young. maybe talk to your sons doctor. good luck H.

Call your local Early Intervention program and ask for an evaluation. Some of the behaviors you mentioned sound a little above and beyond typical "terrible twos" behavior. Early Intervention can determine if he's eligible for services, and if so -they'll be provided in your home free of charge. Check the phone book for the number, or call your pediatrician to ask for it. Good luck and best wishes!

J.

A.~
I would certainly seek help with this. Talk to your pediatrician first and if he/she tells you "he's just two" get another opinion!!! You know best.

We went thru a lot w/ out our son when he was young, starting at around one. Our Doctor kept saying "he's one, then two then three..." you get the picture. Well, now he's six and in kindergarten and struggling -- academically and socially. We have to meet w/ his school staff every 30 days because of his behavior and lack of attention.

We had him evaluated when he was 3.5 (on our own, since his doc wouldn't refer!) and the psychologist said he was "controlling" and basically told us to keep him on a schedule. Well, now...because of his school behavior we took him back to the psychologist and found that he has ADHD and we took him for a speech evaluation (even tho he's speaks well, just has an extremely hard time learning to read) and then an Occupational Evaluation. We learned from those two evaluations that he has an audiotry processing disorder and also has dyspraxia.

I guess my point is, if you feel that something is just 'not right' DON'T WAIT!! The earlier you learn techniques to work with your child the better off you will be and him, as well.

Good Luck!

my advice to you you is to pick your battles wisely. is it really so important that he wants to eat choclate or that he poops on the floor? my oldest was something like that, she would find 1 little wrong {like her sock wouldnt line up right} then she would rip off all her clothes scream, throw a holly fit that would take 3 adults to get her dressed. she onlt wanted to wear this 1 shirt, and we had to have the same night gown every night, and some nights she wouldnt get a batha t all.

she was about 2 when all this started,and it never got better, her baby dr said she had attention defict disorder, but that was bull, as she could keep her self focesed on those toons or video games for hours, it wasent until i got ahold of a fellow named nick beatty, who is a very good counsler and wrap around service provider, that we got a proper diagonise. opistional definate disorder, broken down it means, what we say is black, they say is red, if we say eating poop is bad, they will do it more. and nothing you say or do will change their minds, except...

instead of saying or yelling and i hope to god you dont hit{that only makes it worse} just act like you dont care, say something like, {when he eats poop} that really has to taste bad" then just walk away, ignore it, wait awhile then say go back and say"time to get cleaned up" but dont preach about eating poop, or anything, say nothing if at all possible,

you have to keep your cool, and refuse to be drawn into a battleof witts, you wont win, you know this by now, and it will only get worse, you think you "want to get away now" wait until he starts school and comes home with 40 other kids attidudes, and thats something else, school will be a nightmare,

get a proper diagonise now dont wait, dont settle for adhd, or add, those are just generic terms for when drs dont want to be bothered, and medacation is not always the answer, most meds dont work for everyone, and some can not be given to kids safley under the age og 12.

my daughter is now 20 with a daughter of her own, in some ways she is better, in most ways not, but the pick your battle skills still employ today, nick beatty, audry jones,are through the centerville clinic network, you can find audry at carmichaels clinic, go to the second door, not the main door, tell her your story, and she can get you started in the right direction.

save your sanity, your son may not be able to help what he does, but you can help what you do.

Ok I went through and am still dealing with that with my 4 yo. My friends stoppped inviting me over because he would trash their house. I was at my wits end and didn't know what to do. Sometimes he still gets ahold of the toilet water so you are not alone. You need to call the local MHMR in your area,a child psycologist, or the Early Intervention Unit and they will send people out or have you come to thier office to evalutae your son and get him therapy. The EI unit is the best if you can find them in your area. At that age I was told my son probably either had ODD which is oppostional defiant disorder, SID which is sensory intergration disfunction, or PDD which is Pervasive developmental delay. You should watch your son. Write down the worst things he's doing and when he seems to do it most. Write down any questions you might have. Then when you do have an appt. it makes it much easier cause you have things right there and don't forget something important. My son has been getting therapy for a couple years and he hardly does any of thoes things anymore except for the tantrums and even they are as bad as when he was 2. You can message me or emeil me ____@____.com if you need help finding the EI in your area or just want some tips. Good Luck! M.

Hello,
I am a behavioral specialist and an autistic support teacher. As many have already said- talk to his doctor. Depending on where you are in PA I could refer you to some developmental pediatricians. What you describe is not typical, although I must say that I am not a doctor (I have to say this often for law). As for autism as some have said, does he talk, play, socialize? Those are very much key components. Along with early intervention there is also Provider 50 in PA. Provider 50 is free to parents (at this time). People who are trained to deal with behaviors come in to your home and work with your family. I do this in my second job. There are numerous agencies. There is a process to it; starting with MH/MR office for your county. If you have any questions please feel free to message me!!

my 3yr old duagther is the same way i'm going thru alot with her behavior, she is always bothering her 7 month old brother and just trotures him all the time, just recently she put destin cream all over his face and hair becuase she knows he cant fight back lol but i also tired so many discipline with her and nothing works she takes me as a joke and she doesnt listen to anything i tell her and its so bad that at times i cant take her out alone just me and her because she always acts up but now if her father is around she tends to clam down a little but much. as far as eating she's a really good eater and eats anything i give her but then again she dumps everything on my rugs and plays with it like its funny. she'll hit me back many times and i get tough withher but she laughs or crys for a while but then goes back to doing it al over again. I to am thinking about putting her in head start even tho she isnt potty trained and refuses to use the bathroom when she needs to go but she'll change her own diper she wont let me do it for her and i tired being on top of her to go to the toilet but no luck lol well i dont have any advice to give to you since i am going thru the same thing myself. i feel like i never get a break from her besides when she is asleep or entertain with her older brother but then they fight like cats and dogs so sometimes that doesnt go so well. i think she needs to interact with kids her age and girls so she can have more play time and less focus on doing the wrong things. Well good luck i guess this is the age that they just test the waters with thier parents and see how far they can get away with things. if u ever need to talk or just vent feel free to email me i'm here as your mamasource buddy...

Jayda

Hello,
My name is M. and I am the mother of a 91/2 yr old and 20 month old boys. My 20 month old has gotten worse so I know what you are talking about. He climbs on everything and jumps off. He used to eat everything and now he is so picky I can barely get him to eat. He is so attached to this binky it drives me crazy, so I can understand. I guess it is the terrible two's, but mine is going through it before he even turns two. I try to be patient, but find myself yellign sometimes for him to stop. That does not help he keeps on doing it until I have to get up and talk to him in a very stern voice. So if you find out how to handle a 2 year old, you let me know....GOOD LUCK!!!