Begining Preschool After Staying with Family Friend for a Year...

Updated on July 26, 2007
A.H. asks from Port Charlotte, FL
5 answers

My daughter will be 20 months old and she isn't talking much and doesn't spend much time with other children. Her doctor suggested speach therapy since she is a little behind (it's not severe) My husband and I have decided that she would start talking more and learn some social skills in a pre school with other children her age. It will be a class of 10 with 2 teachers. Anyway, I told our friend who has been watching her and is otherwise alone during the day. She said she understands but started crying and was very upset. I feel very guilty but we both know this is best for her. I would like to do something for her to show how much I appreciate all she has done. Any advice.

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So What Happened?

I ended up ordering her a Kodak Photo book. They are really nice...You put all the photos and writing in and they print it in a leather bound book. She really does understand. She's just upset and will miss Katie. I think it will be OK. She will still be watching her over the holiday break and spring and such. I think it's a good compromise for all. Thank you for all the good advice.

More Answers

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R.W.

answers from Fort Myers on

A.
You may be doing the right thing, however, there is a program available called Early Steps that you would probably benefit from even more. It is not based on income, but call them and someone will come over and do an evaluation on your child, this is done by asking you questions and your child.
They know what is expected of a child at different age levels. If they see a delay in any area of development then they have the necessary therapist, such as speech, that come to your house, or day care, each week to give your child the needed therapy.
One of my kids had this and absolutely loved it. It felt more like a play time to them. My kids always looked forward to the therapist coming over. This program is only available until the child turns 3, then they qualify for pre-school at the public school system, provided there is still a delay.

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M.H.

answers from Sarasota on

All the photo ideas are great! And just keep in mind that you have a great babysitter for date nights! Tell her this isn't a complete good-bye! you were very fortunate to have her, but I too think it will be hard, but best. My son goes to a home daycare and learns more than I could have imagined from the other children (keep in mind, some bad too!). Overall, i wouldn't trade it for the anything!

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K.H.

answers from Sarasota on

Don't feel guilty. She did what she was hired to do. She should not of cried in front of you. Anyways, daycare will be really good for your child. It is going to be really hard for you and your child, but stick with it. You won't regret it. Your child will get sick alot, but this will strengthen her ammunities over time and will be all set when she starts kindergarden!

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K.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

A.,
Let me say that I think you are making the right decision, but of course, that doesn't mean it's not going to be a difficult transition for all of you, including your daughter.

To show your friend how much you appreciate her, I would definitely get her a beautiful card and write her a thank you note inside. I would also give her a recent picture of your daughter in a pretty frame, so that she would have something to remember all the good times they had. If you really have time to do something special, make her a photo book or mini photo book on Kodak Share Gallery online and include pictures of your daugther from the entire year they were together... those make great keepsakes and you can put text in to personalize it just for her! Uploading the pictures is easy... then the arrangement of them in the book takes a little time, but it's fun!

After that, it's really up to you as to what you think she'd appreciate most... a restaurant gift card perhaps or a gift card to Steinmart or another store she likes? Something she can use to get something special for herself that she might not do otherwise.

Good luck,
K.

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B.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I went through a simular situation but I made the decision much earlier when my daughter was only 4mths old. We had a friend of ours who also had a 4yr old at the time and needed the extra money start watching her. I realized very quickly that daycare is not ideal in all situation but in this case it was. Not only was she not getting the social skills from being around other kids but she was being dragged around on errands sometimes for the whole day or on certain days she would be dragged to our friend's grandmother's house so she could clean her house for some extra cash. Plus, the 4yr old wouldn't let her do anything, she took every toy away etc. When I was at home with my girls (maturnity leave) I took them to gymbooree classes, we hung out with other mother's who had children the same age, went to the park or zoo. We were at the park at least twice a day and I did activities with them. I honestly believe daycare is a big part of the reason my daughter is very talkative (they say she talks better and more then children a yr older then her), she is social (says hi to anyone we see) and developed a lot quicker (crawl at 6mths and walking at 10mths). Of course her staying at home with me would have been better but daycare was the next best alternative for her. No matter what you do you will hurt your friend's feelings like we did but I had to do what is best for my children. I even make choices right now that hurt my mom but are in the best interest of my kids (i.e. having my dad's wife actively involved in their lives). I don't want to hurt anyone but I need to put them first. I would have your daughter make something special for her (i.e. art work, pottery with her hand print etc). Something just form her to your friend. Then I would do a photo album with as many pictures of her and your daughter plus I would reassure her that you guys will constantly visit and she can take her whenever she wants for a day or few hours. Make her welcome in your daughter's life still. My friend was upset for a few months but she got over it. I would reassure your friend that you appreciated everything she did for you by watching your daughter and that she did an excellent job but that the doctor said she would benefit from being in an environment with a lot of other children her own age. Having one on one care is not always best for a child it all depends on what that person does with the kid. At daycare they paint, play, do various creative activities and socialize with children their own age. If she can't do that with your daughter then you are making the right choice. Just do what ever you can to make her feel that she is still apart of your lives and appreciated.

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