Please please stop trying to get him to wake up when he urinates.
There is nothing that you can do to get him to wake on his own at night. You will have to wake him and take him to the bath room. I do not think it is ok to give him the drugs that adults take that empty their bladder before we go to bed.
I know it is hard to wash the bedding and his clothing daily. He has to shower or bath each morning. I know all this is very trying for you. Your son has heath issues that add to the smell and amount he urinates.
Instead of trying to change the bedwetting find a new way to cope with it. My brother and cousin had the problem. My brother slept like a rock. He did out grow the bedwetting. My mother coped by placing a shower curtian ans towels in the bed with the beding. They would not let my brother drink after dinner. He was taken to the bathroom bedfore my parents went to bed. We never made a big deal out of it we just simply gather the bedding and put in the washer. We coped and did not ingore the issue. My poor cousin had a terrible time. Her urine smelled strong and it was the whole bed. Her mother was ill when she had her so that might have contributed to the issue. Bedwetting is very tramitic for a family.
As a parent with a busy life I understand your exhausted with the process. As a big sister I know how ashamed your child can feel. I do not find the situation embarrasing. I find it a fact of life. I know that he cannot help it. I wish society did not have so many health issues that they cannot face. Breast cancer, bedwetting, after birth issues and the list goes on for what people suffer in silence. We should never have to suffer because of the ingorance of doctors and society.
Laura Bush just went to the middle east. Do you know that 40% of the woman under 40 have breast cancer. They cannot seek treatment because the doctors and technicians are men. This reminds me of the 1960 here. When will we all take care of each other regarding illness with loving understanding instead of how the illness effects everyone arround us the world will be a better place.
I am happy God believed that you were strong enough to be the parents of such a wonderful child. When you go to bed tonight know that you have the strenght to deal with this and a lot more. I send you my love and understanding knowing both sides of the issue. I believe that you are brave to talk about the issue and wonderful to keep trying instead of giving up.