Bedtime Problem

I am not sure how you would go about fixing this problem, but I have a good book that I think would help you. It is called "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber. We used it when our daughter was really young because she was not a good sleeper at all and now she is a great sleeper. He covers a lot of different sleep "issues." I highly recommend it. Hope it helps.

My 3 yr old goes through phases where she wants us to sleep with her too. So, we let her pick out a special night light to have on at night and that has helped. She also gets to pick out her choice of stuffed animals to sleep with each night and now has a flashlight to sleep with too. This has really helped. I thinks its helped fill the "alone" feelings she has if she wakes in the night. Have you thought about having your girls share a bed?

Hope this helps,
W.
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Usborne Childrens books

Well, your 5 year old is probably old enough where you could quit cold turkey. You might have a few rough nights where she throws a fit, but it won't be long and she'll put herself to sleep. Have a really good bedtime routine with lots of snuggling and read a few books, but always leave her room before she is asleep. With your 3 year old you need to move slowly out of the room. Start with sitting on her bed instead of laying with her. Do this for about 3-4 days. Then sit on the floor next to her bed for 3-4 days. Then every few days, move closer and closer to the door until you're sitting in the hallway. After that, just make sure she knows where in the house you will be as she drifting off to sleep (by herself!)and she should be fine. That will take care of the nighttime episodes as well. With those, you may have to just go into her room, reassure her that you are here and she is ok, don't lay down with her at all, and then leave the room. If she screams again, go back in 5 or so minutes later and comfort her againg and leave. Like the cry it out method some people use with their babies. She has no idea how to soothe herself to sleep without you. But in a few weeks if you are very very consistent, and that is key, everyone should be sleeping much better. Hope this helps!

H.,
Hey I hear you on it being a challange. We did the same thing with our three older girls and it really can put a damper on getting any cuddle time with the husband. I watched an episode on the supernanny with a couple that was going through the same thing. You start off sitting by their bed and then each night you move a little further away. It might take a while, and it is really hard at first, BUT IT DOES WORK. Tell them you love them and all that other stuff right when you are tucking them in and then NOTHING after that, because that is how they pull on your heart strings. It was very hard at first but now I tuck them in, tell them I love them and my husband and I sleep in our bed together instead of with one of the girls.
BE STRONG! GOOD LUCK!

H.,
My son is 6 and rather than screaming in the middle of the night he has learned to sneak in and make a pallet on the floor next to my bed. I am not real fond of this idea, and am trying to find a way to make it stop too. For your issue, try a book called Macy the sleep fairy. It worked for awhile with my son when he was that age.

All I could think of when I read your request is an episode of Nanny 911 or whatever that show is. There were these two children who wouldn't go to bed...they kept getting up and down. Their mother was extremely frusterated. The solution that worked in the end was that at bedtime the mother would put her children in bed and then just sit against the wall and wait. Everytime one of the children got up she was told to put them back in bed without saying a word and without any facial expressions. For the first few nights it went on for over an hour I think before the kids finally went to sleep but by the end of the week she no longer had to sit in the room anymore until they fell asleep! Maybe it would work for in the middle of the night too. I hope this helps! Good luck!

I guess I have been lucky; my daughter had to be on a apnea monitor (not so lucky!)when she was born so she had to be in her crib all hooked up so she got used to sleeping on her own, and has always been a good sleeper. However, when was my son was born he wasnt on a monitor so we got used to rocking him to sleep and gently putting him in bed when he had been sleeping for a good hour! Not a good idea! Eventually, we realised that he would never sleep on his own if we didn't let him get used to falling asleep by himself so we tried the "ferber method" which worked okay, a long as you can harden yourself to not going in at the first sound of crying! I swear, I cried more than he did! We put on the tv with no sound so he wouldnt be scared and now he is sleeping by himself with no tv or nightlight and is doing great. The only thing is our son is still in a crib and your kids obviously are not, so I am not sure if this will help. But, you could try having a nighttime ritual where you read to the girls and settle them in bed, then maybe tell them you need to use the bathroom desperately and will be back in a few minutes if they promise to be good and stay in bed! Maybe if they think you need to go bad enough they will stay put long enough to fall asleep! And I definitely recommend a nightlight for when they wake up and are scared, and having a favorite toy or blankey that they can use instead of you. Also, when my son does wake up in the night I just quietly talk to him without going to him, if you stand outside the door and reassure them you are close by maybe they will be soothed enough to go back to sleep without you having to hold them for hours! I hope you find a way to deal with this now, as it will only get worse the older they get, but I know how hard it can be to make changes in something that is so familiar, to you and them both. My son actually enjoys going to bed by himself, he stretches out and gets comfy and gives me a sleepy smile and cuddles his blankey and is usually asleep within 10 minutes. And this from a child who took naps laying on my chest with me or Dad not moving for 2 hours in case we woke him up! We were completely at his mercy, sleepwise!(but he still has me wrapped around his little finger!) Good luck and let us know how it turns out.