Bedtime Ordeal

just wondering if you should take away a nap or if there's only one nap a day decrease the time. Also, my hubby has been playing, rough housing with my son before he goes to bed. This has seemed to really wear my son out. Maybe that would help. I don't know i know boys and girls are different. But they both like to play. just a thought.

Hi H.!
My daughter is not as old as yours, she's only 13 months, so I'm not sure exactly how a 17 month old behaves, but here's my take on it.

I know with children, they will be more resistant to going to sleep if they are *overtired.* You might want to make her bedtime EARLIER. Sometimes even just 20 minutes helps. The key is to catch them at the "right" time before the meltdown occurs.

My sister loaned me a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. He goes into a lot of detail as to why children require the sleep they do and what TYPE of sleep is required. I know all children are different, but this has definately worked for us!

In my experience, if it's an ear infection, she won't stop crying when you pick her up.

Let us know what you figure out! Good luck!

since no ones said anything about it i guess i will it's been a long time since my kids were that little but if she is attaching to that cup why not let her have it? see what she does if you leave the cup and walk out, you can always take it away after she is down for the night or swap it with water if she's a light sleeper and will wake up if you go in and take it, my 4 year old still goes to bed with a cup of water and heck so does my 6 year old and we have never had any problems, good luck.

My son is also 17mths old. He goes through that sometimes too. Have you thought maybe something is bothering her since it seems to have come on so suddenly. Possible a slight ear infection or just fluid build up. Alot of times they feel worse at night than during the day. My son also insists on holding his bottle in the bed. He won't fall asleep unless he is holding it. If the ears check out or not sick maybe try giving her a bath before bedtime. Sometimes that comforts them and sleep better.

We were having a similar problem. For us what worked was having my husband put her to bed. When I try to do it, she gets mad when I leave and wants me to stay. She's in the "clinging to mommy's ankles" phase right now. Maybe your husband would have an easier time!

Dear H.,

My daughter is 21 month now nd we have been through this twice in the last have year.
The first time we let her cry it out because she stayed in her bed an didn't come out. Took a couple of days and it was over for a few months.
The second time was harder. She started to come out of her bed over and over and over again.
There was nothing wrong with her either time. wE had her checked out by the doctor to make sure and after it was over we knew it was the powerplay that they will do till they are 21 and out of the house. She was testing us, pushing our buttons.
Our first attempt was putting her back to bed but when it took an hour and a half till she fell asleep and then she came out at 5.30 again we knew that that wasn't working.
So we thought let's by one of those doorknobs and then she can fuss in her room and eventually fall asleep. Worked well for a week but then she figured out how to open that know.
So putting her back to bed until we basically showed her that we are stronger willed than her and that we will win was the only way to get her back to sleep. In the furute this will appear over and over again. It will get more sophisitaced by asking for five more minutes of this going potty, having more juice, milk, need more hughs.....endless list. It is tought and someday they will be adults and then we will miss it.

Good luck, T..

By the way my freind resorted to putting a babygate at her sons door which is cannot climb yet and so that helps her right now.

When my son started acting like that I took him out of the crib. He was actually MUCH younger when I took him out of his crib, but he went from fighting sleep and wanting me in the room right back to his routine when I put him in a "big boys bed". I actually let him sleep on the floor one night instead of in his crib and he went right to sleep, that's how I personally figured out it was the whole crib thing and nothing else. Is she taking naps well? It could be an ear infection that just isn't showing any other signs if she is having problems laying flat. How long are her naps? Maybe she is sleeping too much during the day for her now. Best wishes!

Hi H.,

One of the worst things to do is to keep going into the room. I know it is hard, but when we do that it just feeds into the whole thing. Personally, for me, just letting her cry worked. It only took about 2-3 nights. She is 19 months now but it was about the same age as you are dealing with now. Since that time, when we say "time to go ni-night" she runs into her room and gets right into her bed (which she now has a "big girl" bed). Every child is different, but for me and my husband, that worked best. Also, someone told me that a light snack a little while before bed helps kids to sleep better. A few animal crackers or graham crackers, it helped us too. That was a good piece of advise. Good luck to you!

It could either be her testing/wanting you to come back in, which would mean that you should just let her "cry it out" a bit. However, it could also be something bothering her such as an ear infection or her molars coming in. It's a bit early for her 2 year old molars, which usually come in around 19/20 months, but it could still be that.
I would rule out an ear infection and teething first and then I would work on not going back in there. As for the "crying it out" lay her down, let her cry for about 10 minutes, and then go back in just to lay her back down and rub her belly. Don't talk or converse when you go back in as this will just re-start the whole process.
Hope that helps! Good luck and keep us posted.

My daughter is going on 18 mos. nd typically has no problems going to bed. But when nights get rough like you have explained I always head to the dr's office. Its typically an ear infection or teeth comming in. She never shows any change in mood till bedtime at night when its due to an ear infection. I'd stick with your normal bedtime routine - when you fierst put her down let her cry for 5-10 minutes then check on her. I go in and hold my daughter for just another minute tell her I love her and its time to go to bed. Sometimes thats all she needs is that last kiss or hug, then I lay her down. If she continues to cry i let her go for about 20 mintues before i go in and lay her down and walk out. You can check for any incoming teeth, or if all else just make an appointment with her doctor, if nothing else it will comfort you in knowing she's fine or possibly gettig sick.
If it helps, my daughter started to sleep with a bear at about 16/17mos of age. Maybe she has a bear or doll she plays with to cool down at night before bed, try putting her to bed with her one animal or baby.
Hope this helps.

They all go through this a little. In everything I have read most professionals believe that around this age they want to be having fun with mommy and daddy. She has tapped into the fact that mommy and daddy don't go to bed when she does. She probably feels like she is missing out on something and that she wants to be where the action is. Her routine hasn't changed....But she has. You have one smart little pumpkin on your hands. Each of our kids went through something like this. I would get her through this phase before you even think about getting her a toddler bed. Or you'll have her running out of the room the minute you walk out. Each time our went through this we changed things ourselves a little. When it was bedtime we kept up the routine but then until the kids went to sleep we kept the house completely quiet. We read more books around those times...Well hubby actuially read...which is huge in itself. And after they were sound asleep then we went about our evening activities. If there was something we really wanted to watch we would watch it in our room. Also I have found that having a CD player with repeat play option is great for a buffer. We turn on classical music in our kids rooms every night. They go to sleep in class and the music helps buffer against the sounds we are making in the house. We sneak in and turn the music even lower when we are going to bed. My kids now sleep through everything. Its tough and this phase will repeat every couple of years. My girls ages 4 and 5 are now going through the million excuses to get out of bed and prolong going to sleep phase. We have stayed stearn but I can't tell you how many times in the last few weeks they have gone back in their rooms and closed the door and hubby and I have completely cracked up laughing at what reason they came up with or what weird question they felt the need to come out and ask us. Hang in there. Give her her snuggles and put her to bed. When she cries go in and sooth her the first time, but leave her in her crib. The next time wait a little longer etc.....that method. And letting her cry it out is ok too, but its ok to walk in her room keep a safe distance and still tell her you love her but that it is betime. But the more you go in there the more of a game she will make it. Also I put all three of mine to bed with bottles of water at that age. We are huge water drinkers around here. To this day we all have sports bottles of water on our night stands at night. I see nothing wrong with that. And as far as people saying that hurts with bed wetting at night....All three of mine potty trained by 2.5 yrs and slept through the night with no accidents by age 3. So I don't believe it. You know your child I don't think anything is wrong with her since she doesn't do it at naptime and she cheers up the moment you walk in the room..Even at that age girls are so manipulative with their emotions, and I really think she is just playing a game with you.