Bedtime Battles - Aurora, IL

Updated on January 27, 2009
J.B. asks from Huntley, IL
6 answers

I've been reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, but I am still struggling with bedtime.
My son is almost 5 months old and bedtime is miserable for both of us. He likes to be swaddled so I use to give him his bottle while he was swaddled and he would fall asleep while taking the bottle and then I would lay him down. But then all of a sudden he seemed to not want to be swaddled while he drank his bottle but still needed to be swaddled for bedtime, so I would feed him his bottle and then swaddled him but then it was hard to get him to go to sleep. SO we tried the crying it out for almost a week now. We go in every 3 minutes, then 5, but instead of the crying getting better after a week, it has gotten worse. We've tried to keep him unswaddled for bedtime, but that doesn't work either. So when he finally does fall asleep he is now starting to wake up 3 times a night to eat and a couple times for his paci. He WILL NOT go back to sleep without a bottle the 2-3 times that he wants a bottle. Is this becoming a Habit? I just don't know what to do about bedtime and night wakenings. I just can't ignore him, like it said in the book. ANY SUGGESTION????

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.G.

answers from Chicago on

Honestly, I think he is a bit young for the cry it out method. They still have a physiologic need to eat at night at this age. Personally I would try to relax and go with it- keep a consistent routine, follow his cues, and accept that babies will wake at night. Someday (probably soon!) he will start sleeping through the night and everything will seem better. My 3 kids have all been good sleepers but I just established a routine, bedtime, and went with what they needed.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.O.

answers from Chicago on

JB,

I would love to tell you "I have the answer!". We had "bad" sleepers too. I had that book and at least one other. I was desperate for a solution. Our first child needed "us" to help her sleep. The second one wanted her "binky", every couple of hours!!!

First I'll say I don't think all babies can sleep through the night without a feeding. However, you have to be realistic too. If he can't fall asleep without it - yes, it's a habit.

Secondly, think of the books as a recommendation, no "THE WORD". Your Mommy instincts know your child better than a generalization about all kids.

Finally, what is his daytime routine like? Does he seem to eat/nap normally during the day? What is YOUR bedtime routine for him? If he's sleeping much or eating too little during the day, THAT could be why he's up so much or so hungry at nighttime.

We found that ONE bottle at night/one nursing session was plenty. If you keep him "sucking" to fall asleep, you are going to create a problem because he'll expect that (A HABIT) and won't self sooth.

Next, after you've determined your daytime routine is fine and he's ready for sleeping at night make sure that your BEDTIME ROUTINE is low light, low noise, triggering his body to get ready for sleep. Just because the clock says "7pm" or whatever, HE doesn't know it's bedtime. Make sure he's tired for the night.

I think one of the biggest keys for us was when the pediatrician's office said that no kid has ever cried themselves to death. He's just upset and has no other way of showing it.

So my last bit of advice is this, don't clock watch. Put him down and walk away. HE WILL FALL ASLEEP, even if out of exhaustion. Then, if/when he wakes up at night, decide if you think he needs a bottle, maybe one time at night. Otherwise, you need to decide if you want to go in, or let him be.

Just remember, he's still small. I know the night wakings are inconvenient. But the "training" to get him to sleep though the night may take a while.

I sincerely hope you find the solution you are looking for. I also hope my input helps.

S

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.N.

answers from Chicago on

He's only 5 months old--still a baby. Ignore all those people that say my baby slept through the night by such and such, it only makes you angry with your own child for not doing it. Realize that parenting is not easy and there is a reason soooo many people ask "sleep issue" questions---because babies/toddlers like comfort and love at nighttime. My son didn't sleep through the night until 15 months old--then he regressed and needed assistance. Now he is back to sleeping on his own at 23 months. There was some crying involved but never more than a half an hour. If you give him the love and attention he needs now--you will be repaid later.
Sorry for the rant. Just go with your gut--if it doesn't feel right then it isn't

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.V.

answers from Chicago on

First thing first, stop reading that book! Even he admits that some kids need twice a night feedings to age 12 months. If some do, there is a good chance that many do, and we just ignore them!

The CIO thing didn't work with us either. She just got herself so worked up she refused to sleep period. Each kid is different.

Listen to your heart and you will do what's best for YOUR child.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Chicago on

JB, I agree with courtney. He is too young for the cry it out thing. at 5 months he is probably waking becuase he is hungry. at that age they eat and poop and are hungry again quick. Is he on any solid foods yet? if not it might be time to try some. I know by that age we were feeding ours a big bowl of cereal and fruit and then a bottle at before bed. that may help. also i would stop the swaddling thing. 5 months is pretty old for that. rock him with a blanket but it shouldn't be tightly wrapped up anymore at that age I wouldn't have any extra blankets etc floating around in the crib. does he have teeth yet? that could also be going on. totally old enough for it. run your finger over his gums and see if you feel any big lumps or sharp places where a tooth has come thru. it will be in the front top or bottom for a first tooth.
S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.F.

answers from Chicago on

My pediatrician told me that at 3 months they are old enough to go through the night without eating and that at this age is when bad habits start to happen. It took about 3 weeks for all my kids to adjust and my figuring out what they needed. But all of them where sleeping through the night by 4 months. And I would put them to bed they would cry and then I would go in after 3 minutes say it is time for sleep good night kiss them and then leave. Next time I would go in 5 minutes. and then 8 minutes and so on. Each night it took less time for them to fall asleep. The first night typically took an hour. The third night 15 minutes. The fourth I didn't have to go in. They cried a little but stopped before I even had to go in. I know it's hard. My husband and I would pace or have to sit on the edge of my bed sitting on my hands to keep myself from going in. But it paid off. We haven't ever had sleep battles with the kids. the oldest is 14 and the youngest is 3.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches