I have a seven (almost 8) year old daughter. She goes down for the night easily after a shower and reading. However, she gets up MANY times for up to the next two hours. She is never scared or upset (and of course not sick) but she uses every excuse she can come up with. The bathroom every 15 minutes, drinks of water, asking what the weather will be tomorrow, etc. etc. The constant getting up would be frustrating enough, but she is the type of child that needs her sleep or the following day her behavior and academic performance suffer greatly. I have tried reward charts for staying in bed and negative consequences like taking privlages away - nothing to date has made even the slightest bit of difference. Have other people experienced this? Any ideas?
Let me clarify from a not so nice response....I don't exactly LET her come out of her room but I don't lock her in the bedroom so she can open the door. I do turn her around and put her back to bed without any interaction from me and I have been doing that for over a year consistently and there has been no change. There is no need to be rude, we are mothers on here to support each other, I am a good mother as I am sure you are.
I put her to bed between 8 and 8:30, she does have to go to daycare in the morning. I have tried moving the bedtime back but that just moves back her up and down from bed giving her even less sleep which leads to a rough day the following day. I also have noticed that if I push the bedtime back she just gets up earlier (some days at 4:30am) so
I hope you don't take this response as rude also - but why aren't you enforcing the rules?
You're the parent. You're in charge. Stop playing with stickers and BE a parent.
You know the sleep she needs better than she does. You know she's playing a game. Now put a stop to it.
She's a kid, she's supposed to push boundaries. You're a parent, you're supposed to enforce boundaries.
We made a deal with our daughter, she could go to sleep whenever she was ready. That meant she had to be in bed by a certain time, but sleeping was up to her. She would read.. Or listen to books on CD..
BUT she HAD to get up on time with no complaining and be able to function. Her grades had to stay good..
IF she could not get up in the morning or complained in the morning, I would set her "sleep time"..
Honestly had very few times when she would start to complain and I would remind her of the agreement.
The good news is that in College, she was used to setting her own sleep time and knew exactly how much sleep she needed.
Maybe consider trying this for your child.. That way she stays in her bed, but she can decide what time she falls asleep.
I guess why are you letting her keep getting up? Does she NEED the water, or is she just getting up for it? Our daughter is allowed to come out if she has to go to the bathroom, and that's it. If she comes out to the bathroom, she goes right back in. If she comes out to bother us because she wants to stay up, she gets put back in bed once nicely (kisses, hugs, tucking in, etc), the rest of the time we don't talk to her we just walk her back to her bed, no more kisses or hugs, she knows she should have stayed in bed. She's 6, almost 7, and knows that she needs to stay in bed so she does. By 8 she should understand the rules.
I wonder if you can allow her to read in bed? I have always been such a night owl... Even when I was young I couldn't settle at night. My dad would let me have the light on in my room and read for an hour after bedtime. It really helped me settle. (Instead of having her read before bed, have her read in bed.)
If she doesn't want to read, maybe get her a journal and have her write in it instead.
Maybe give her sleepy time tea, to help her body relax. It comes in grape now, or the original flavor.
Try to get rid of excuses too. Give her a bottle of water to keep near her bed. Tell her the next days forecast before bed. (You can make it part of her bedtime routine to look it up.)
Consider doing the following. Take note of what time she is actually falling asleep. Let her know that you appreciate that it is difficult to be in bed, but not soon asleep. Together you will change things for the better.
Her current bedtime is 8. She actually sleeps no earlier than 10.
For 7-10 days, make her bedtime 10:30. Don't compensate by getting her up any earlier, or allowing naps. Within 2 weeks, she should be quickly asleep by 10:40, and not getting out of bed.
Keep it at 10:30 for another week, to reinforce the habit of bed = sleep.
Then slowly peel back bedtime, 10 minutes at a time, until it's at your prefered 8.
Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.
Shut the door and don't let her get up.
Also, totally agree with S B.
I have told my DD that if she gets up for no reason over and over, then there will be a consequence. I've told her that she needs to stay in bed both for her sake and everyone else's. If she wakes me in the night with her getting, up, then she gets Cranky Mommy and that's no fun, either. I have told my DD that not going to sleep may mean we don't do x outing later - not if both she and I are tired. My DD is allowed to play quietly or read if she's not immediately tired. Many nights I turn off her light to find she's been looking at books, but I know she's conked out in 20 minutes or so. Does your DD need more down time before bed?
I would keep telling her to go back to bed with limited interaction. If she is a worrier, give her paper and a pen and she can write down things like "what's the weather?" and you can answer them in the morning.
That said, my SD has had sleep problems forever. She gave up naps around 1 yr old and has been taking medication for insomnia since HS. If you think there is more to this than just stalling, a call to her pediatrician may help.
I have an 8 year old daughter and she is the same way. Even during the school year when she is up at 6:30am! We put her to bed at 8pm and she is sometimes still awake at 10 or 11pm! She does get scared though. She has a very active imagination (always has) and she has some pretty severe nightmares and she remembers them all. She sometimes says that she doesn't want to sleep because she will have scary dreams.
The only thing that has worked for us (meaning having her stay in her bed and not get up a thousand times) is to play music in her room. We are christians and we have a childrens worship CD that is very calming. We keep the hallway light on until she falls asleep. We let her read.
I guess for your daughter, just make sure she has water before, goes to the bathroom, has her clothes laid out for the weather so she knows what it will be. Say your prayers, read with her, and kiss her goodnight. Maybe try a sticker chart? I hope things get easier for both of you!
I don't have any answers for you, but, I just wanted to let you know I feel for you. I was wondering if its she has insomnia? I know that kids can get it and that it can make life difficult. Maybe she lays there and then it doesn't work so she gets up frustrated. I do that from mine. I can be up the whole night like that. Good luck! Maybe talk to a the doc? If something works will you let us know so that we can keep it in our arsenals for later please?
I don't understand these some people. Their responses are so rude and I'm sorry for that! We had a friend with similar issues. She tried a reward system chart and received stickers if she had a good night without coming out. One week with stickers every night meant a trip to the dollar store, one month was a trip to something even more special like chuckie cheese (yuck) or a movie, etc... Three months later they didnt even need to do it anymore!
What time does she go to bed?
I figure 8-8:30, to get up 7 or so.
If she doesn't have to get up to go to daycare, how about trying a later bedtime?
If she does have to get up, try an earlier bedtime. When she is upset enough with going to bed earlier and earlier, then she will stay in the bed and earn a later bedtime.
My 7 year old takes about an hour to go to sleep if she doesn't get enough physical exertion during the day. I would suggest playing Wii or going for a run together after dinner.
If she wastes an hour getting up and down have her go to bed an hour earlier that night. If she wastes 2 hours she goes to bed 2 hours earlier, etc. You don't need to use it as a punishment. Just matter of factly tell her that a growing body needs sleep.
I love the reading in bed idea. That always gets me sleepy!
Sounds frustrating. She's just not tired when it's bedtime. I have one like this and we got some sleep aids from his psychiatrist. He takes PRN Clonidine when he just can't fall asleep. He's out within a bit and he sleeps soundly. He is pretty easy to wake up if I need him to wake up but the next day he's in a much better mood.
