Bedtime! - Bismarck,ND

Updated on December 30, 2011
J.J. asks from Bismarck, ND
10 answers

I'm at my wit's end! For the past month, my two year old refuses to go to bed(She's sleeping in a toddler bed). We put her to bed at her regular hour and she won't stay in bed. She gets up and comes running out, we put her back to bed and it repeats for an hour at least. We've tried being firm but she thinks it's a game. We keep putting her back, rocking her but it doesn't work. I've tried laying down with her but she pushes me away. By the time she does fall asleep, it's time for me to go to bed too so I can't get anything done after she's asleep!

Any suggestions or ideas?

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So What Happened?

Also, we've tried a later bedtime and skipping her nap-neither ended well

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H.1.

answers from Des Moines on

This isn't a direct answer to your question, but if she is misin gout on all this sleep that her body is used to (becasue of the night time games she is playing) then I would veture to guess she is probably overtired and would suggest earlier bedtimes while everyone figures this out. If she's overtired from even a few nights of shorter sleep, then she probably struggles each night to settle down becausse overtired state makes it hard for a child to sleep. Plus, if you do earlier bedtimes, maybe you will get her to actually fall asleep by the time she normally does since she is taking that first hour to play games anyway. Once she's got it down, work back towards the normal bedtime.

3 moms found this helpful

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Make sure her room is childproofed and use a baby gate (stack 2 if she's a climber or get a tall one. I found a tall one with vertical slats he cannot climb.)

When you put her down. walk away, turn out the light (a nightlight is fine, the Cloud B ones stay on for 45 minutes and project constellations on the ceiling) and close the gate. Leave her alone, even if she's having a tantrum for at least 5 minutes, go in, do not turn on the light, talk or engage, and place her back in bed, say "Good night, it's time to go to sleep," in a hushed voice and leave again, closing the gate. No holding, rocking, back patting, talking, etc. Keep it all very matter-of-fact. Repeat in 10 minutes, (from here on no saying anything) then 15, adding 5 minutes each time. Be consistent and she will get it : )

3 moms found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

She's 2 and this is totally normal for her to push and see how far she can get with this. You've got to pick a plan and stick with it, you can't do one thing then do another (rock her, lay with her, just putting her back) it's got to be a consistent. Of course the more you engage her, no matter how firm you're being they're going to think it's a game.

The first time tell her it's night, night and put her back after that do not look at her, don't react, and definitely DO NOT talk to her just keep putting her back this way. No matter how frustrating this gets, do not let her see any emotion from you and just put her back. If you stick to one thing for a while it will get better.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Like GrammaRocks says, be matter of fact and firm about it. You only should go through the loving bedtime process ONCE. After that, calmly, wordlessly, and even without much eye contact, simply put her back in her bed. May take a few nights.

Consistency is key. Don't give in with cuddling, etc. You've already proved your love with the "loving bedtime process."

Only one thing to add: if you have trouble ignoring the screaming, wear ear plugs.

Also, make sure your husband doesn't sabotage your hard work by cuddling with her either!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Until our children (we have 3 within 17 months of each other) learned the value of money and the different coins we were able to put our kids to bed for 3 cents a night by putting 3 pennies on the ledge. Each time they got up we took 1 coin back. In the morning they could put whatever was left in their bank. When they learned about nickels, dimes and quarters we had to increase our nightly "allowance" to 1 quarter, 1 dime, and 1 nickel. On the first offense they lost the nickel, 2nd offense the dime, and finally the quarter. Once the habit of going to bed was established we didn't need the coins any more and could move on to other reward methods for whatever behavior we were focusing on.

Also, I am a firm believer in the 7:00 bedtime. Once I became unwavering about bedtime, life became much simpler and mommy and daddy got some time alone before bed too.

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C.W.

answers from Sioux City on

As Moms, we know that some kids go to bed easily. They do what you ask them to do in a timely and compliant manner. Oh, but then there are those kids who beg for five more minutes of play time or drag out the bedtime ritual . . . and the kids who lay in bed and wail in the hopes that you will come and rescue them from their beds. Here are tips you can give your babysitter on how to get your kids to go to bed with minimum fuss.

The five-more-minutes kids and the dragging-out-bedtime-rituals kids: these kids either thoroughly enjoy whatever they are doing at the time or they just don’t like bedtime. Either way, you have tasked the babysitter with putting the kids to bed on time, and the babysitter must do so. Usually, babysitters have enough knowledge of the kids in their care to know what may be driving their behaviors . . . babysitters can thus find a motivator that will incent them to go to bed without further fuss. For example, if the kids hate missing out on social interaction, the babysitter can offer to lay down with them until they are asleep.
The lay-in-bed-and-wail kids: these kids have learned that crying loudly (and often exaggeratedly) will get adults to do what they ... http://blog.care4hire.com/bedtime-2/529

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C.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I posted before to another mommy having issues with bedtime: Our previous provider was AWESOME when our kids where younger, smaller space, they had an outdoor play area but the older my children got the less they would came home tired meaning I had to be the one to wear them out if I wanted them to go to bed on time. I switched day cares 3 months ago and they are always on the move, she takes them EVERYWHERE possible to educate/ entertain/ wear them out so when they get home they are actually tired! If this is not feasible try involving your child in an extracurricular activity (I am doing gymnastics on Friday night & Soccer Saturdays) join the neighborhood boys and girls club, for a small fee they have tons of space to let your child get creative. We have a long hallway in our house and we chase the kids playing tag. On Demand there are kids learn to dance videos and kid workouts that are a lot of fun for children and adults! If your not tired can you lay down and sleep? Good luck

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K.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

You're doing the right thing when you pick her up and put her back to bed; you just have to keep doing it until she's asleep. Tell her before bedtime that she will need to stay in bed, and then pick her up and put her back in bed every time she gets out. Don't argue with her, don't reason with her, don't plead with her. Pick something to say (mine was "I love you and now it's time to go in your bed."), and keep saying it, calmly. You're in charge, and you can't show frustration.

When I did this, it took only ten minutes. I was prepared for hours of it though, because that is often what it takes. It make take hours, for 1-3 nights, but she will realize that you are being totally consistent, and that no matter what she will have to go back to bed, and she will give in. Then she will fall asleep, probably with relief.

Don't try putting her to bed earlier or skipping her nap; those are bound to fail. Sleep begets sleep -- if she is overtired from the day, she will be totally wired and will be unable to fall asleep. Maybe you could work on improving her naps, so that she is better rested, which will actually help her fall asleep.

Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

is she getting enough physical activity during the day? Is she playing actively with other children? You have to be tired to be able to fall asleep!

Also, conversely, is she napping? Is she overtired? Does her naptime need to be moved? Does her bedtime need to be moved to accommodate/acknowledge her personal growth? Lots to think about!

In the end, I do believe we need more info!

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E.S.

answers from Houston on

J., let me know what works for you because I am in the same situation. I am not sure if I can put a gate in his room, although that is what my pediatrician recommends...sounds so cruel! :-(

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