Bedlam at Bedtime

Oh - I would be losing my mind - so frustrating for sure.

How about:
1 - Put the 2.5 year old to bed an hour earlier. Then spend speical 'quiet time' reading with your boy to get him to unwind.

2 - Divide them - even if it means a sleeping bag on the floor of another room. Until it gets the point across.

3 - Try to convince your son that he is the 'Big Brother' and he needs to help you get his 'Little Sister' to sleep. Since in the morning he knows that he has been naughty - I bet you can use this to have him play the 'Big Brother' and show his 'Little Sister' how to sleep.

4- Put a gate on the room door. So at least they cant get out of the room.

Good luck. Post back and let us know how you did. I am sure we will all need to user your success story soon.

L.

Hi S.,
I can totally understand your night time issues. My suggestions would be to separate the two little ones at bedtime. Are separate rooms possible? How about putting the 2 year old down a half hour before the 3.5 year old?
Consider a special time alone with each one to read a story and cuddle. Does dad help out at bedtime?
Check how much sleep they are getting at daycare.
No active play before bed.
No sugar sweets before bed.
Hope this helps.

It's all about listening and following rules.
Your kids need to listen to you and follow the rules.
It's just gonna get worse the older they get! Make the punishment fit the crime and make sure it is enough punishment to make them want to listen to you. Sit in their room with them and make them do what you say. You may be in there for hours but you need to do it. I wouldn't talk so much just move them back to where they are suppose to be - in bed! If my daughter is late for bed she goes to bed early the next night. She is a bit older (7).

Try putting them to bed at a different times (maybe a half hour apart, depends on how quick the first one falls asleep)... most likely the younger one. Make sure she is asleep before big brother goes in there. Make it very clear to big brother that he must be very quiet so as to not wake little sister up. A consistent routine of bath (try lavender scented baby bath, epsom salts followed with lavender lotion) pajamas, brush teeth, stories and NO ROUGH PLAY.. just calming activities also help, warm milk or chamomile tea - you get the idea. Try a soft noise in the room, like a humidifier (esp. this time of year) or one of those things that make a creek sound, we even rub scented oil on our son's feet and he loves this.

the younger child might balk at first.. but the older child will probably see this as a privilege and be more compliant with what he is required to do while waiting for sister to be put to bed. This will give each child a bit more one on one time with a parent which will help the settling down process also.

hope this helps

Hi S.,

They had an episode on supernanny about this. As you have learned getting mad just makes the kids taunt you more. I learned this too. With our daughter who is 2 we have a gate in her room and as long as she plays quietly and does not scream things are fine. Many nights she falls asleep at the gate and we wake her a few hours later and walk her to bed. She is then fine. Since your kids are a bit older, the gate may not work. However, there is something else, if you and your hubby are both scientists, you most likely are very busy and sometimes kids behave in the way you mentioned due to needing or wanting more attention and quality time. I have had that happen with our daughter. I stay home but my hubby works and when she does not get daddy time life is very complicated at bedtime. We put her to bed together, play relaxing music, sometimes read a book to her, and have a prayer. This has helped us a great deal. You can also google bedtime techniques and get more information on how to calm your kids before bedtime. Blessings to you and your family. :)

Katherine

Oh how I have felt your pain. I like in a small apartment and we don't have the space for the kids to have separate bedrooms. So my 4 and 3 year olds share a room. Mind you, they are 14 months apart, so it can be *fun* sometimes. They used to have beds next to each other, but they kept playing and crawling in and out of bed, so finally I moved them across from each other and for some reason, that keeps them separated enough at night so they don't climb in bed with each other, but together enough that they still know that "sibling" is there and isn't pulled away from them. My kids got used to sleeping in the same room, so when I would try to take them away from each other at night (my son sleeping on the couch, my daughter in the bedroom), it resulted in one kid waking up 500 times a night. My kids will sometimes play at night, but they stopped that once I sat in the room with them (not saying a single word, not looking at them, just sitting there) and if they got out of bed, I put them back into it. Eventually (after about 3 solid weeks of this - sometimes for 3 hours, sometimes for 15 minutes of me sitting there) they got the point and it was a month well spent for me because now they go to bed peacefully and I barely ever have an issue with them. I started in the middle of the room and then I gradually (one week at a time) made three steps to the door and at the last week, I was sitting in the door frame and essentially it was for 5 minutes only and then they would fall asleep and I'd close the door.

If that method doesn't work, you might want to consider separating them if they don't get upset with it.

Also, you might consider rearranging the room so that they have less to "work with" at night. Put all their toys are in a rubbermaid tub you can pull out of the room when they go to bed so they have nothing to play with. My kids have a table and chairs that we take out of their room at night because otherwise they will play with it. Take away the temptation for them to be naughty. It's worth the time to figure out what works, otherwise you will be pulling your hair out. Good Luck! And let us know how things turn out!

Beka

Have you tried alternate bed times?? The younger one should go first and then the older one. They will probably not like it much in the beginning but if they are not going down at the same time you might have a better chance. I only have one child but friends and family have more and this has seemed to help some of them. Good luck!