Bed Wetting in Older Child

Updated on May 22, 2008
G.Z. asks from Austin, TX
20 answers

HI, my youngest girl is 12 and started wetting the bed when she was about 4, after being potty trained. I, myself, wet the bed until I was 7, as did my other daughter, and I figured she would grow out of it. Her doctor thought the same thing. In fact when she started her period, about 6 monthes ago, it stopped for over about 2 weeks. But not it's happening everynight, when previously it happened about 3x's a week. Her doctor stil thinks it will pass, but said if I get worried or if she wants we can put her on medication. Has anyone else had this problem?? Do meds make a long term difference? I don't want her to be struggling with this problem in her teens and adult life!!
What we've tried so far:
*setting alarms- she pees before they go off or later after they've gone off, or doesn't wake up for them at all
*the alarm system- a thing that fits in underwear that sets off an alarm when so the child wakes up as she is peeing. the alarm is loud enough to wake up the rest of the house so parents can come in if she doesn't wake up. we would forget to plug it back in after she got up once, sometimes it went off for seemingly no reason, it came unpluged in the night or some other thing was always going wrong with it. it lasted for about 3 monthes before it stopped working completely.
*cutting out foods she might be allergic too such as dairy, wheat and nuts for about a month.
*waking her up at night whenever I wake up. This is my latest effort and has been making some differences, but is no permanent solution.

Oh!! one more thing that might be important, she also has insomnia and has for about as long as she's had the bed wetting issue. I've feel they're related as they're both sleep disorders, her doctor doesn't seem to think so.

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J.V.

answers from Houston on

my oldest was 14 before he quit wetting the bed. we tried everything also, with about as much success as you've had. we even tried medication (prescription nasal spray) that worked, but not as well as expected. the bottle was supposed to last 30 days, but after 2 weeks he would be wetting the bed again. and the dr. wanted to see him before every refill. that was several years ago, and they may have better meds now, i don't know. at any rate, one day we realizes that he hadn't wet the bed in a couple of weeks, and that was the end of it. it never happened again. i bought adult diapers (Depends brand) for him because he was way too big for pull ups. he never had a problem spending the nite at friends or going to camp. something about not being at home made him more aware of the problem, or maybe he didn't sleep so heavily

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T.C.

answers from Houston on

I was a bed wetter until I was 16. I just slept so hard nothing could wake me up. They talked about putting me on medication but my mom didn't want to do that. I just thought I would write you a quick note that there is hope that she will stop as she gets older. It is hard staying over at peoples houses but mine lessened so I could without having accidents.

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C.L.

answers from Austin on

G.- You may also try supplementing her diet with vitamins. Go to people's pharmacy or try contacting the company Shaklee. I am a loyal customer of Shaklee, and I remember hearing a story of a Shaklee rep saying that she wet the bed at the same age, but that once she starting supplementing her diet it helped. Also, I think a chiropractor could be VERY helpful. Trust your instincts, just because the doctor doesn't agree, doesn't mean your wrong!! Good luck, let us know what happens!

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J.S.

answers from Houston on

My 15 years old used to wet the bed and we put him on a nose spray to help and it really worked (prescription) It was great because it just relived the stress of him having to worry about it. At this age, they are going to sleep overs etc. and you do not want her to be made fun of. He is a heavy sleeper. I think I would have isomnia too, if I was afraid I was going to wet the bed. The presciption is worth it. He does not have a problem now.

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R.M.

answers from Austin on

My son was still bedwetting at the age of 14. Our doctor perscribed a tranquilizer or it could have been an antidepressant that he said was used to stop bedwetting. With one perscription bottle of pills we no longer had the problem. I do not remember what it was called. My son is in his late forties now, but you might check with your doctor to see if that is still an option. R.

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A.J.

answers from Austin on

You said your doc thinks she'll grow out of it, but has he bothered to TEST her for any illnesses, such as diabetes or sleep disorders? If not, my best advice would be to find a new doctor and get another opinion! If she has insominia and is wetting the bed when she is this old, then she needs to at least be test to be sure that there isn't something physically wrong that could be fixed.

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H.J.

answers from Houston on

I would seek further medical advice from a sleep disorder specialist. Seems to me that insomnia may be related to the bedwetting at such an advanced age. My aunt's girls (3) all wet the bed until around puberty, then it stopped, and I would be concerned if she were my child that it had not stopped. Time for a second opinion, and maybe some further internet research!

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T.B.

answers from Houston on

G.,
My 7-yr old still wets the bed. Our doc at Texas Children's always told me (when she was a bit younger) not to worry until she gets older. It has now started affecting her in that she doesn't want to go to sleep overs and would miss out on camping with her brownie troop. Our doc then prescribed a nasal spray--with our ins. it is $10. And it has worked. She is was getting so upset with herself about wetting the bed. The best thing about the med is that we control how much she gets. We started with 1 spray and can go up to 4 a night. Right now she is using 2 sprays, but after a few months we can start tritrating it down and hopefully, her body will have learned to produce the needed hormone to keep her dry at night.
I also tried limiting her fluids and getting up in the middle of the night--which seemed to work for a week or so and then she was wetting b/f or after. And I was just drained.
Good luck!

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B.C.

answers from San Antonio on

G.;
The Insomnia is the key>>>get a another doctor! Better yet,
go to a sleep disorder specialist!

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L.L.

answers from Houston on

I would get a 2nd opinion. I would find a different doctor and see what he/she says. At 12 years old, that can be devastating. My son wet the bed until he was about 10 and we tried many of the things you have. He never spent the night at other kids homes and was very self conscience. At 12, I can only imagine it being worse especially for girls.

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L.G.

answers from Houston on

My 9 y.o had this experience for a while. Took her to the Dr.for respiratory problems and discovered that it was the cause of her bedwetting! Her doctor said that she would be in such a deep sleep that she couldn't feel the urgency to use the RR. She would go to slumber parties or to relatives houses and feel ashamed b/c she was still wetting the bed. But, he Rx her Singular for asthma and she has not wet the bed since! She smiles now, is happy to spend the night with everyone! I also don't allow my kids to drink anything at least 2 hours before bedtime b/c that can be a great factor as well. I wish you good luck and finding the right thing for your child. I agree with some of the other moms...find a sleep doctor or a respiratory specialist, b/c I know from experience that there is a connection.

Good Luck and God Bless

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C.H.

answers from Houston on

There are natural remedies which are great and don't have the side effects of meds. In a good health food store, they can muscle (resistance) test her--painless: no blood, sweat or tears. They will be able to see what is most effective for her.
Blessings, C.

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B.S.

answers from Austin on

I agree, "insomnia is the key." My thought is the bed wetting is a result of the insomnia,as in once finally asleep, she's sleeping so sound (from exhaustion) she's not waking up. Insomnia is a serious problem and can lead to mood disorders (mental illness). Your daughter NEEDS quality sleep. Take her to a child psychiatrist. If you're in Austin, Dr. Robert Dobyns is an excellent one.

I've seen many questionairres for children with issues (such as ADD, ADHD, etc) and bedwetting is on the list.

You mentioned you love coffee. Is your daughter consuming any caffeine? That could be a problem with the insomnia. Wean her off the caffeine and see if that helps, or at least no drinks and chocolate after 2:00 PM.

I hope you ALL can get a good night's sleep soon!

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H.F.

answers from San Angelo on

Lots of posters to childhood bedwetting have said to cut out milk from the child's diet completely after lunch. Worth a try...I would look into the respiratory angle and even make sure your urologist has performed ultrasound to make sure to rule out physical problems.

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A.W.

answers from Killeen on

I have a 10 and 11 year olds who both bed wet from time to time. It was a lot more often when I first got them in my home. What I did that helped a lot was not let them drink anything an hour and a half before bedtime so that whatever they drank before would come out before bed. I would make them potty right before bed as well. This worked some, but the other thing that helped a lot was lowering their soda intake. They were drinking 2-3 sodas a day, so I lowered it to 1 a day but eventually quit buying them and now they only get soda if we go out to eat. Now they only bed wet maybe once a month.
I myself was a bed wetter and sometimes it never goes away. I will be honest and say there are still times that I wet the bed a little bit because I am such a heavy sleeper that I never know I have to pee until I was peeing. My mom took me to a doctor who ran tests on me and traumatized me at age 7 and they discovered that there was nothing wrong that I was just holding it too long before going. The older I got, the few and far between did the accidents happened. Hope this helps!

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C.S.

answers from Houston on

G.,

I can not stress enough the importance in having an ultrasound performed. I suffered the same thing when I was a child. If it hadn't been for a doctor that insisted that the others were wrong, I might still have a problem. I had a tube that wasn't connected properly, and it required surgery. Without him insisting on performing the x-rays and tests, I might never have been diagnosed correctly. This may not be her problem, but I highly recommend you have it checked out. The name of my surgery was called a Bi-Lateral Uretur Implant (hope I spelled it correctly). Good Luck, and don't ever let the doctors punish your child or make her feel less than b/c of something she can't control. If you need any help, please don't hesitate to ask.

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A.S.

answers from College Station on

See a different doctor. They are absolutely related. Maybe see a Psychologist. A 12 yr old with insomnia??? I will keep you in my prayers.

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D.C.

answers from Austin on

G.,
I have two friends that have used the prescribed nasal spray with excellent results. I don't know the name of it but one of my friends said, "just ask the doctors about the nasal spray for enuresis, they'll know what you're talking about."
Prayerfully this will pass quickly for your daughter. Be patient with her and love her through this.
D.

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T.P.

answers from Houston on

Be patient she will eventually grow out of it. I know personally it will happen. Just be supportive,kind and loving and she will remember what you helped her through. Let her know that she has to listen to her body when she is sleeping because it will give her warning signs, like a pressure feeling and that is her body's way of trying to wake her up. Remember she is not doing it on purpose it is probally just because she is a sound sleeper or overly exhausted. Hope this helps.

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H.L.

answers from Houston on

Below is the same question asked on April 1 and my response to it. Don't be quick to add prescription drugs to her system. I hope that this can be helpful to your family:

Bed Wetting
From: Mary Joe C Date: Tue. Apr. 01, 2008
Any recommendations for a 14 yr. old still bed wetting. He's a very hard deep sleeper. Spent over $5,000.00 on medication and the bed screen alarm, that he used until the novelty worn off. It's affecting his social life to a point that he can't go and spend the night away from home.

PLEASE HELP!!!!!

A little about me:

Concerned working grandparent, with one grandson age 14.

(Response:)

I was a bedwetter sporatically into my 20s. I was and still am sometimes a deep sleeper. My 14-year-old (step)son sleeps really hard and sometimes wets the bed. Once you rule out any physical problems, he should have some psychological therapy. Even adults sometimes revert to this in the face of certain stressors. Don't let him drink anything but water after a certain point in the evening, and not too much of that; empty his bladder just before bed. Also, he might be such a sound sleeper because he's not getting the right amount or type of rest. (At a certain time in the evening, have him relax and wind down into sleep, instead of just falling off to sleep. Make it early enough where he can wake up naturally in the morning, or wake him gently. It's just so jarring to wake to an alarm clock or someone yelling at you that your psyche is traumatized, and you can't truly relax in anticipation of that alert.) After that, don't make a big deal of it with him. It'll make things worse if he's embarrassed. Before sleepovers, my mother would talk with the parent(s), and they'd make sure that I slept on my own bedding (alone and not on the sofa) and would wake me at night and/or get me up first in the morning so I could "freshen up" before the rest of the group. Get him a plastic cover for his mattress, and make sure that he knows how to operate the laundry equipment. Make him responsible for cleaning it up, and then leave it alone. It'll wear off. I hope that this helps.

I'm in my 30s now and have dreamt of going to the toilet while sleeping with my husband. Yep, you guessed it--I'd have to wake him during the night and fix him a bed somewhere else and remove and wash our sheets. It happens. Treat it like it's just one of those things, and it'll bring less and less anxiety.

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