My step son is 11yrs old and he is having an issue with bedwetting. He has been a bed wetter for several years now, but the problem that we are having lately with him, is that he is not telling us he has wet the bed and he continues to sleep in it. He finally told us why he does it. He said that he's to tired to get out of bed to go pee. He also said he's not embarrassed about it at all. This excuse is absolutely unacceptable to us. And we find this issue to be very troublesome down the road and throughout his adulthood. Not caring that you have wet your bed and you choose to sleep in it and get back in it the next night is rediculous.
If anyone has any ideas on how to handle this...or what we can do as parents to help eliminate this problem, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!!
PS. We have tried eliminating drinks before bed and making him go pee right before he falls asleep.
My brother wet the bed until he was 16. My mom started making him wash his own bedding at 10 years old. This slowed the bed wetting and he eventually quit altogether.
A., I was a bedwetter. The last time I remeber wetting the bed was in high school. I would wet and wake up and just move to the corner of the bed and go back to sleep. I didn't want to tell my mom that I had wet again, I certainly didn't want to wake her up! I also would not tell her in the morning, I'd just hope my sheets would dry during the day, then of course I got to the point that I could wash them myself, but even that was embarrassing because she might say "you wet again?". I know it is disgusting to sleep in urine, but this is a very embarrassing problem.
I do not believe that he "doesn't care". He is just saying that. I do however believe that he feels too tired to get up and pee. He's at that half awake half asleep point where your brain is fighting itself "let's get up" "no, we are sleeping". I would even dream that I was in the bathroom and then I'd wake up wetting the bed.
My son, now 11 had a bedwetting problem. We invested about 3 years ago in an alarm system that had a sensor that went in his underwear. I really did not believe this would work, I'd tried something similar as a child, but my husband insisted we try. I took about 2 to 3 weeks of my son using the device and his problem is now gone. I am soooo glad we got him the alarm system. I'm not sure he even remembers wetting the bed now.
Good Luck, M.
A.,
This is not uncommom (especially in boys) Do you have any children of your own? Have his father and/or mother to get him check out by his ped and try not to make a big deal out of it. Get rubber pads for his mattress and let him know if he has an accident it is up to him to change his own sheets. I would also reccommend that you teach him how to do his own laundry at this time.
For me using the term "this is absolutely unacceptable" when it comes to a child having problems, is "ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTALBE"!
It will all be OK as long as there is nothing medically wrong.
Blessings....
I wonder if he's telling the truth? Maybe he doesn't want to admit that he can't control it? Usually bedwetting is a physical problem and a child's body has to develop the ability to control the bladder during sleep. If it's not physical, I would think it would indicate a kind of serious emotional problem. I think a trip to the pediatrician is in order. Please try not to blame him but just try to solve the problem.
My 11 year old still wets the bed....and will not wear a pull up (unfortunately). But he does not know he is peeing until he is wet. Then he will get up and change and throw a towel over it. He doesn't tell us all the time either and it ticks me off.
Since yours seems to know that he is doing it...check it everyday and make him do all his laundry, sheets and clothes. Every time.
I took care of a bed wetter and I put a double layer of rubber sheet, sheet, waterproof mattress pad, sheet. At night if he wet he would peel off the top layer and put on dry underwear then in the am take a shower put the dirty stuff in the washer and when he got home from school put the dry stuff on top. He was close to 13 when all his insides and outsides caught up to each other and then did not have any more problems.
Maybe you could get a moisture alarm for his bed. At the first signs of moisture an alarm sounds waking him and you. This may prompt him to not want that as an option and decide getting up would be best.
I had a bedwetter at 12. Nothing was wrong his bladder was just not as developed as the rest of his body. Could be becaue he was a preemie. who knows.
We went the medication route. Mine did care and was terribly embarrased. He also had daytime wetting problems.
So our doctor recommended DDAVP. He never had any side affects and was off of it in two years.
Previously I had tried everything. The bed alarm didn't work, getting him up didnt' work, dehydrating him didn't work. MAking him do his own sheets, eating dry foods(rice cakes) yelling, crying, rewarding for dry nights, nothing worked.
A.-- Hi, I’m Dr. W. from the GoodNites NiteLite Panel. Mamapedia is wrapping up a partnership with GoodNites and your question is definitely relevant to what I talk about with the NiteLite Panel and in my practice. So many of the responses from Mamapedia members are right on target. Despite what he says, he does care. Remember, bedwetting isn't a choice for him. It's not a behavior he can control, so he needs your support. At his age, try being his advocate for this very private issue. Never talk about this in front of his friends or relatives. You can get ideas here and on the GoodNites website. These are good talking points, showing your concern and willingness to reach out to him. He can look at the website on his own, too. He might appreciate your understanding and helping him learn that he's not alone.--Dr. W., GoodNites NiteLite Panel
Make him do the laundry. Give him extra chores.
He needs to see a Pediatric Urologist. My grandson still wet the bed up to this year, he's 11. The Urologist that he saw a few years ago gave us good advice about constipation and drinks. Being constipated causes the bladder to be compressed due to the pooh pushing on it. It makes the bladder unable to hold even the normal amount of urine. If they are dehydrated it makes the bedwetting worse so cutting off drinks has a bad side effect.
Don't cut off drinks.
Getting them up out of bed to go during the night only makes you and them tired. If they don't get the signal from their brain they just aren't getting it. It's like if your brain doesn't give your heart the impulse to pump the blood, either it works or it doesn't. It's not a choice a child can make.
As for the sleeping in the sheets again, that's just sad, he needs to wear under-jams or overnight diapers for adults. He may have all kinds of things going on in his mind and he may not be sleeping well. He needs to go to bed earlier for wind down time and get relaxed before bed so he can get better rest.
So, I guess my advice is be prepared to wash his sheets and bedding every day or get this seen by the Urologist,he may just not be ready. it can happen.
plain & simple: seek medical help. seek counseling.
Give him the means to succeed.
You could have him take a shower in the mornings even if it means waking up a bit earlier. Look into whether there's any foods or medications that make it worse. And let him know that if it's not getting any better, you will have to take him to the doctor. It depends on whether it's something he can control or not. Most kids grow out of bedwetting eventually, but my brother had to have surgery, I think it was to add an extra tube between the kidney and bladder.
Whatever you do, do not punish him for it. It's not that he doesn't care, he is just embarrassed.
I was a bedwetter until I was almost 20. It got a little better as I got older but it didn't stop completely until about 20. When I wet the bed, I would cover it up with something (a sheet or towel), change my clothes, move to a dry area.
You find that it happens so often, you get used to it and it seems almost pointless to wash your bed set everyday! It tore me apart as a little girl and made me depressed as a young adult. It's a good thing my parents never made a huge deal out of it. They knew I was ashamed and tried to just help me deal with it. You can take him to a urologist and see what he has to say. I went before and all they told me was that I would grow out of it.
Don't ever punish him for it, he is not doing it on purpose no matter what he says. He knows he can't control it, so he tries to pretend that he really can. I know exactly how Michelle G feels!
