Bed Time Woes

Try have a movie going while you give them the breathing treatment. They will be watching the movie and will relax. Cuddly up with a blanket and a movie or a book everyone together in one pile. This will relax them and hopefully go to bed on time to sleep for you; Good luck. also sometime soft music will relax them while in bed. Worked great with my son.

First, since you can't bathe all in one place, I would have son get showered in the morning. You could have him watch a video while you are bathing girls, then let girls join him, instead of running around and getting riled up. Set a timer to go off 5 minutes before bedtime, so all will know what's coming. THIS GIVES YOU TIME TO DO THE BREATHING sessions with them, then do a story with all and then it's off to bed.

What about showers? My boys love showers, they're 4 and almost 3. I've taught them to wash themselves so most nights they wash their hair and scrub their bodies. On the particularly dirty days I'll do a follow-up wash down. My 4yo usually gets himself dressed...he has taken to making it a race to try and get dressed before I can dress my other son. It might take a bit more time, but maybe try and let them do a little bit more for themselves, that way you're not doing it all.

Hopefully you'll get some good ideas from the forum...

R.,
Try starting with just the oldest one first. Bath her, give her a book to read to or a video to watch, maybe with a light snack while you bathe the other two. Does she like to help with her younger siblings? If so, encourage her to help with her sister. Maybe she could read to her while you take care of the little boy. My children were further apart in age than yours are so the help they gave was wonderful. Do you lay out PJ's and towels and such before you put them in the bath? If not it really helps. Your are just one person and you are trying to do three things at once and it is overwhelming you. You must take time to focus on one thing at a time. Slow down for your own sanity and the safety of your children. Bath tub accidents may result and that would be tragic. In the end take time for yourself. Read to them all in one room, perhaps the living room, and then tuck them in. Hope these suggestions help.

R., don't get frazzled, get help! You are in some serious need of back up support. If you don't have a family member or friend who can help out for the witching hours, consider hiring a mother's helper.
I went through the Sittercity website and hired a great girl who comes every day from 4pm-8pm to help with my three kids. My hubby travels, so I feel your pain. Get the support you need and you're sanity will return, trust me on that :) Best to you!
-D. C

R., one day, I just couldn't get around to giving my son a bath and so he went to bed without one...The next morning, he was still alive and mever the worse for missing that bath, the sun came up, the birds sang, etc. etc, etc. From then on, I realized that he could bath every other day (unless he got very dirty playing mud, or went swimming and needed to get the chlorine out of his hair, etc. My suggestion is to bath the girls one night and the boy the next. Also, why don't you read to all three at the same time? You could all suggle up on the couch or take turns who's bed you read on. The main thing to try to do no matter what is to keep the lights low and the excitement down. That will help everyone relax. No TV at least one hour before bed (too much light entering their eyes, too stimulating.)

I don't have much else to give you but I just remember that you don't have to do everything every night. The main thing is to have a routine that works. If it doesn't work, then don't do it.

L.

well I'm not sure if this is helpful, but have you ever considered giving them a shower? Saving baths for when your husband is there to help. Giving them a shower can happen faster and all in one bathroom. Also, if you read to them together, that would help....they could all have 2 or 3 stories together and then go their own beds and you could tuck them in separately.
Even my 2 year old son loves showers so it might work.

Good luck and get creative.

I have experience giving children their breathing treatments and also have a daughter who does albuterol as needed. If your children use albuterol for their breathing treatments I would advise doing that BEFORE bathtime, maybe even before supper (unless the doctor specifically told you to do it right before bedtime, of course). Because albuterol will make them jittery and stay up longer which would lead to you being very aggitated. I was perscribed albuterol for a short amount of time..and I took a tsp and could NOT go to sleep until nearly 2am. I can't imagine what it does to babies and children. Good luck dear!!

Shaena

Personally, as a single mom of two, I think you are doing great!!! I know that bedtime can get hecktic, but really, you are doing great.
Our routine is about the same. I make sure that dinner is done no later than 6pm (sanity dictates it). Then, we have a "race" to see who can get to the bath first! My kids are 5 and 3. Then, we get upstairs, do potty jobs while the water is getting warm and race for the shower. We don't do baths on school night, just takes too long. We group shower, otherwise I will not shower. If they hear the shower after they go to bed they will come to see me and keep getting out of bed, so we are a group!! On days I dont' get in with them, this is a great time to talk to your kids about stuff that happens at school {if you were too busy at dinner time} and ask them how their days went. Also a good time to teach the little ones about their bodies.
Then, we get out (or they get out) we all towel off and get jammies on, brush teeth, read a couple stories, one last potty job and off to bed, usually no later than 7:15 or 7:30pm. After that, I patrol the hallway for 15 minutes to make sure they are STAYING in bed, then by 8pm, I have my own time to do whatever, usually relaxing, checking emails and watching shows I had to record!!
My son does do the breathing treatments also, but I try to get it in right after dinner. It's to hard to squeeze it in during or after shower time. Then, if he needs one, he gets one in the morning just before breakfast but after he is dressed.
As for being frazzled, this is WHY I am in such a rush to get them into bed no later than 7:30pm if I can help it. I need QUIET TIME for MYSELF and so do YOU!!! Don't feel guilty about cramming them into bed at night, they NEED the 10 hours of sleep too!! They get their sleep and wake up well rested in the mornings which also helps you out too because (hopefully) no one is fussy in the mornings!

Keep up the good work, MOM!!

My bedtime routine takes almost that long and I only have 1 very healthy daughter!
Just wanted to say it sounds like you have a pretty good handle on things, maybe some of these other people can help you fine tune things, good luck!

first I would give the girls a bath and then your son. I would not try to do them all at the same time in different places....that is so tiring! Instead of letting them run around while finishing up I would only allow them to be in a quite spot and read a few books...no more running around after bath time. I would also try having book reading time at night after batha nd either during or after bath to help wind them down. I do book time in bed but that may not be possible. I would try the counch or something but no more playing after bath. Try these and see if it helps.

YOU ARE FINE. Don't put yourself down. Anyone would find it difficult to get 3 kids, bathed, clothed, read to and "breathing treatmented". Does your hubby work nights or just not get home by 6:30?

If he does not get home before 6:30; my suggestion would be to wait until he is home. Give him the 4 year old - who seems to be the odd guy out. Bathe the girls while he is reading to the 4 year old. Have him bathe your son while you are getting the girls ready for bed. Read to the girls while they are getting their breathing treatments. He gets the son ready for bed and gives him the breathing treatments. LIGHTS OUT as you tuck all of them in.

The only other solution is to do more things together ie, reading to all of them together in one central place instead of their rooms. Giving all their breathing treatments together in one central room. Don't know what you can do about the bathing process tho...

GJKBEAR

I hope this is not too late, but this has helped me get my three kids to bed on time each night. Try to bathe your daughters and/or your son their bath earlier in the day around 4 or 5. Also, they may not need a bath everyday. I give my kids a bath about three times a week (healthier skin and hair)! Keep the computer and TV off after 5:00. No sugar at dinner or after, especially since one of your daughter's has ADD.

I read to all of them at the same time and have my oldest daughter does her required reading for school (she is 8 and has to read 20 minutes every day). About 10 minutes before bedtime, I say, "Time for bed." I have time for hugs and kisses and prayers for each of them. Most of the time, I do all of this by myself.

Good luck!

My sister has two boys (ages 8 and 4) and a girl (age 2) and they all bathe together in the master bath "big tub" and there is no problem. I also agree with other posts that they don't need a bath every day. At the very least they don't need their hair washed every day. You could consider reading to them while they play in the tub or as others have said, read to them all at once on a couch or while everyone is gathered in one bed and rotate whose bed so they all get a turn choosing a book and having "special time" in their bed. I have two girls myself and we read one book and while the simple book might not stimulate the older one and the harder book might go over the head of the little one when we switch off, it is really the time we spend together that is important. I also understand how the breathing treatments stretch bedtime as I have to administer those to my girls and I agree with another post that it might be well worth it for you to invest in another nebulizer to decrease the time that takes. Good luck to you and please give yourself credit for all the things you are doing WELL, Mom!!

Breathing treatments, with nebulizer for us has always wound my kid up, I don't know whats in the stuff but maybe you should do that earlier in the day with movie watching time say 4pm or so. and then leave bedtime rituals more calmer, I say eat,bath,brush teeth,1 book per child you can read altogether on 1 bed and then bed. The earlier a bedtime routine like 6:30 is good because it gives them time to independently do some of these things which you have to alott extra time for. Sounds like your a great mom Hang in there.

used to be a teacher, now SAHM routine is everthing.

I don't have any advice except to say it sounds like you're doing a great job. The reality of it all is that raising three kids is very hard work, especially having to do a lot of it alone. When your children are grown and gone you'll probably miss these days. Try not to stress and be too hard on yourself.

Blessings

Hi R.,
I don't know what it's like yet to have 3 kids to get ready for bed, so I admire all your hard work. My suggestion would be to forego the baths every night. Are the kids really getting that dirty that they need a bath every day? If bathtime is just winding them up, then it is counter-productive. Also, I don't think it is safe to be running from bathroom to bathroom. You need to be in the bathroom the entire time for the 4 year old, and especially the 2 year old. I would recommend doing baths earlier in the day as needed, and keep bedtime more simple. Maybe a snack, pj's, brush teeth, story? Hope that helps!

Don't we all wish we were better at everything. I know how hectic bedtime can be. I too have 3 children (7,6,2) My son is the middle child. My husband, an Army officer and is in a position right now that has him out many a night. So, again I can relate. My first suggestion is that maybe you should not have them in two different bathing locations. That would make anyone crazy. Showers might be a help as it might be a little quicker. I pinned a little gingerbread man in my kids bathroom that showed them all the spots to wash and not forget. That saves me from asking or bugging the kids with tons of questions. I also have a lamp that is set on a timer. It is in my 7 year olds room. She knows that when that light comes on she is supposed to be in her bed. When the light comes on they have 30 minutes to listen to books on tape. I get new ones at the library each week. They love it. When my son is finished he jumps in bed with her just for that 30 minute window. That 30 minutes is when I read to my 2 year old in the bath. When I finsih with her, the book gets turned off, everyone finds their ways to their own beds. The books are a great way to settle down and relax before bed. It also works to "loose" that privilege if they don't keep on track during the day. I hope that helps. It's all trial and error. You and your kids will find something!

bathe the girls put give them thier treatment while u bathe ur son, give him a treatment while u read 2 the girls, and read to him after ur done with the girls. dont go back and forth some thing can happen while ur gone

This is just a thought, could you let your 6 year old bathe alone and then just focus on bathing your 2 and 4 year olds together? That way maybe you could get them nice and clean and just check on your older one verbally as you dry the little ones off. I know with three it will always be a little wild at bath time, but that is the only idea I came up with. Best wishes!! :)

Are they really that dirty every day? I'd skip the daily bath routine and do it every other day. Maybe even rotate the bath schedule to where your daughters get theirs done one night and your son the next. The reading suggestions from the other moms is a really good idea too. Or maybe you can have the girls sit and rub lotion on each other after their bath - a good calming massage might put everyone at ease before bedtime. Good luck!

My thoughts are that perhaps the 6 year old could do things a little later while the little ones are together, or take care of everyone in the same room. I don't think it's that big of a deal for boys and girls to bathe together and dress together when they are siblings. I currently bathe my 3 yo and 1 yo together, and will continue as long as I can! I think having them together will eliminate some time, plus perhaps all the running around will stop. Perhaps, if you don't want to have them together, the 6 and 2 year old can lie down together just looking at a book while you dress the 4 yo. Then i would read to all three of them together in the girls' room, and then take your son to his room. I don't know anything about breathing treatments, though....

I hope you can manage! My husband currently works late 2 - 3 nights a week, and I find it crazy, too. I have a 3 yo, 15 month old, and I'm pg....so I'll be in your shoes soon!

Hi R.,

Parent Coach J. B here with some additional thoughts. I am raising three kids who are close in age like yours. First of all, pat yourself on the back for asking for ideas and for the parts of your routine that do work.

If your husband arrives home before the end of the routine, absolutely engage his help. This gives you a bit of breathing room and gives him the opportunity to interact with the kids before they go down.

Your oldest daughter can be a role model for the younger siblings. Talk to her and get her to identify three or four ways she can help. The ideas might be simple such as being the first out of the tub and the first to get dressed. She might then help her brother get dressed or at least guide him to his clothes. Not only are her contributions a help to you, she begins to see herself in the important "helping" role of an older child.

The suggestion to try bathing all three together is a good one. If you don't feel they are that dirty, try alternating bath nights as suggested. We did it for years and the kids did fine.

Make a chart that outlines the simple routine. Use pictures and words to represent the steps to follow. Have the kids help create it and then check it to see what is next. If this is a real sticking point, offer stickers for awhile to help establish the improved routine.

Include expectations for behavior once the routine begins such as no running or jumping after the bath.

Reading to all three is a great transition into bed. If your oldest daughter wants to, allow her to move to her own bed and read to herself after a book or two. This will help turn her into a life long reader.

Anything you can do to cut down on the time for the breathing treatments will also help.

Good luck,
J. B
Parent Coach

First of all, it doesn't have to be perfect....we all strive for it, but it doesn't have to be. Try reading during the breathing treatments.....do you have more than one machine? Maybe try obtaining enough where you could do all three at the same time.....It might be a little pricey but if I have to choose money over sanity, I will pick sanity every time! My son had to have a lot of breathing treatments when he was younger and this is what we did. Though I haven't read them all, you have some great advice here.....I am sure many tips that will help you. Good Luck!

This time of night is just hectic no matter how you try to swing it.

All in all it sounds like you have your routine down pretty well. Just changing simple things like already having pajamas out and everyone in the same room rather than 2 different bathroms will make things a little smoother. Would it be possible to do the breathing treatments will all kids at the same time while sitting on the couch looking at a book? If so, that will save you quite a bit of time. Not only is everyone doing the same thing at the same time, but you get story time out of the way with one story rather than having to do it twice when you change rooms.

Hope some of this helps and I hope you find some peace in your night time routine

I have 7 kids! There is no reason for stress at this time. It is stressful because it is allowed to be. Your children are not old enough to seperate them by sex until they start talking about it and looking. They do need to know the difference of sexes but these are brothers and sisters not friends. Each child should get out of the bath at a different time and since this is relax time it should be just that. When they are done with the bath, sit and look at the book till you get there. The second child will get there before you to and they need to talk about the pictures till you start to read. It is impossible to read the same book to a 6 and 2 year old--they do not think the same yet. Why not put the 2 year old to bed first--he or she is the tiredest anyway. If doing anything with your children is stressful-there is something wrong. Parenting at the ages that you have should be nothing but pure pleasure but it sounds like you are parenting as a single parent. One more thing--kids do not need to take baths every day unless they got dirty.

R. you are doing everything right! This sounds exactly like my bedtime routine right down to the ADD child and the asthma treatments and the late-working husband. Getting everyone in bed by 8:00 is an accomplishment to be proud of! Once they are down pour yourself a glass of wine and watch the news, read the paper or if you're me, clean up the kitchen. This is mommy world :)

Can you use the master bath so that you don't have to run between bathrooms? Can you sign your 4 and 2 y.o. up for swimming lessons at school/daycare so all they need is a rinse off in the shower 1-2 days of the week? Mother of 1 so don't know how you all do it - good luck!

Have you thought about doing baths at a different time? I bathe my kids during the day. Maybe do the 2 and 4 year old in the morning and then your 6 year old at night (I assume she has school?) That will cut out alot of time and running back and forth. Maybe have your 6 year olds jammies already laid out so it is easier for her to follow directions in putting them on.

Good luck!!

Well, I am feeling your pain, girl! I have three myself, and bath and bedtime feels like total chaos to me!! The only suggestion I have is that maybe just try starting a bit earlier!! I know, it takes so long already, but as it sounds like you have it perfected thus far, the only other option I see is to start earlier! Sorry, I know that's not what you are looking for, but that's what I've had to do too! It helped a ton, simply because I felt less rushed, that seemed to make all the difference in the world!

Good luck, you're doing great, and never forget you are not alone!! :)

I totally understand your frustration. You are doing a lot in a short period of time. Do all 3 need breathing treatments? My son has asthma and now he is mostly on an inhaler which is so much easier then the nebulizer. Try this put the girls in a bath together while your son is taking his breathing treatment. Then when is finish give him a bath and give the other child a breathing treatment. Maybe you read to your two year old at this time. Then when the other two are finish breathing treatments read to them while the last is taking her breathing treament. After that brush teeth and put them all to bed. Give an reward to the child who goes to sleep the quickest the next morning. Give an reward if they go to sleep without getting out of bed etc... I hope this helps. You have a lot on your plate during bed time and your tired too! Good luck!

My only thought would be have your older daughter read to your younger daughter instead of running around while you get your son ready. Explain that it is mandatory and they are not to get off the couch or bed. Make it your daughter's responsibility and praise her for your help in reading to your younger sister and how important it is. Plus, your son should be able to get himself dressed fairly easily into pajamas without help. If you give him a smaller towel, he should also be able to dry most of himself off by himself. In my opinion, once they start school, they shouldn't bathe with the opposite sex. I tried it after they turned 2, but it was too hard. So, I changed to once they started school.

I am so right there with you, almost exactly the same except my youngest is 14 months instead of 2. I FEEL your pain, as I have felt every bit of the same frustration, but I do have an idea or two for ya. We do bathtime at night as well, but instead of putting everyone in the tub at the same time, I fill up one tub, put the youngest in first, then wash, and get out, brush teeth and then they play. Then I move on to the next child until they are all clean. After that we all sit on the couch upstairs and read all together. Each child (of my older two) get to choose a book on their assigned days (MWF for my 6yr old, TTHS for my 4 yr old) and we read. Then prayers and off to bed. It works great for us! Good luck.

Well, you have a lot of great suggestions, so you probably don't need more, but here it is anyway. Have the boy take his breathing treatment while you give the girls a bath. Then have the girls have their breathing treatments while he takes a bath. Either read to them together or have the older girl read to the younger while you read to your son and put him to bed and then come back and read to the girls. Good luck!

It's been a while since I've had that age at home, but I would suggest putting a baby monitor in one bathroom while you are helping in the other bathroom. Kids usually sing and even talk to themselves while bathing. Then you can still go in and out of each bathroom, but you may not be so worried. Then, I would pile all the kids in one bed and make the bedtime reading a family event. That would cut your reading time in half also. This was always fun for my children and me. And you can get extra snuggly too :-)

Question... It sounds like you separate them (during bath and during dressing) according to male and female... Why? Maybe I'm behind the times, but I don't recall being separated from seeing my brother naked until much older. Why can't everyone get out of the bath at the same time, towel off and put their PJ's on in the same room? Whoever is dressed and has teeth brushed first can look at books quietly by themselves until you all are ready.

Read books aloud together, each one gets to choose one story. Then everyone get in their bed, give them each a book to look at or read on their own for 5-10 minutes, and then everyone gets the lights out at the same time.

I would definately make a bath time ritual more relaxed for you and then they may be less apt to get wound up.

I ditched daily baths a long time ago. Maybe have bath time for the girls one night and your sone one night so you can focus on one group at a time. Then have the opposite group get read while the other is in the tub in the same bathroom so you can prompt as needed. This is what I do with my boys. They bathe together but one at a time at the sink while the other is doing a different task. That way i can see them both, cue them as needed but they are not together goofing around.

This is what I would do, hope it helps. I would get my 6 yr old to bath herself. She is old enough now but I would make her go last. I would bath the two year old. Get her p.j.'s on. Then in that same bath water I would bath the boy 4. At this age I would let him start bathing himself too with you there to watch and say dont foget your ears type of thing. Then I would let the 6 yr old take a shower while you were checking on her saying be sure to wash your feet and neck. Things she wouldnt think about and switch up what you reminde her about. Even with ADD she can do things and needs to learn to be independent. While 6 yr old is in the shower I would be giving breathing treatments to who ever needs them and have the other one picking out books or in bed with a book or a doll playing quitely...easier said than done - consistancy-. They need to learn this is the time that they are to be quite and restfull. Not out of there means I know they are still little but running around would be a no no. Since the oldest is 6 if she stayed up till 8:30 or 9 it wouldnt be the end of the world and she also can hold her own breathing treatment thing. Good luck. Hope you find the answers your looking for. Being alone at this time can be hard. Were cheering for you!

Wow, this sounds a lot like me :) I have a 5, 3, and 4 month old. What I have been learning since we had the third is everything requires a lot of planning in order to pull it off with the least amount of chaos. One of the best things that we have ever implemented for bed times as well as mornings is a star chart. At first I just did it for my 4 yr old at the time, but my 2 yr old caught on very quickly as well. They new exactly what it took in order to earn a star. ie brush their teeth with out me asking get dressed, shoes on, bed made etc. They would get a star and I have a prize box that they get to pull a prize out of after they get so many stars. They can also lose stars for bad attitudes and whining. I think when you incorporate this into any routine it will help you because they will be motivated.
One tip....be sure not to make the prizes too big. Little trinkets etc. After a lot of stars a trip to Sprinkles etc.

Good Luck.
T.
By the way, I live in Avery Ranch if you ever want to get together. :)

I'm certain you are great at everything! Why don't you try bathing them all together for now? By the time this would be inappropriate, the 6 year old might be bathing herself. I would bath all 3 and take them out 1 at a time and dress them (let the younger 2 play in the tub while you talk to your older daighter and she dresses herself). Then get the 4 year old out and dressed, and the 2 year old. Line them up and give breathing treatments, and then have the boy go into the girls room for a book all together.

I get very frustrated at bath and bedtime, too, and I only have 2 and don't have to do the treatments, so I totally understand. Hang in there, they will get more independant and it will get easier.

Either slightly stagger their bath times, or have your oldest daughter read to the youngest (she can also make up a story). Tell them that they are to sit still on their beds and can't get up. Running around will result in the loss of 2 toys. To earn them back, they will have to sit still for a night which gives them back 1 toy. They have to be good another night to get the second one back.

If they lose a lot of toys due to lack of reading skills/not very imaginative, you may need to get some books on tape that they can listen to (go to the school library).

Hi, R.!

I'm so glad you get to stay home with your kids! Your bedtime ritual sounds very familiar to me. I have seven kids (2 to 14-years-old) and although the older ones obviously get themselves ready for bed, I still have to get my 2, 4, and sometimes my 6-year-old ready. You are awesome! I can't seem to get mine in bed before 10:00, even if I start early! Do they have to get up early to go to some type of school? I home school so my school-aged kids get up on their own at 8:00 with an alarm clock and I let my younger 2 sleep in. If your kids could stay up later until your husband can come home to help you, that would be great, but it sounds like you're doing everything right...it's just a lot of work, and it will make you tired and frazzeled...that's normal! At least you get to get in bed at a decent hour if your kids are in bed that early! As for the breathing treatments, doesn't that make them hyper? I used to give my daughter treatments and the doc told me it could cause hyperactivity in some children. That also might make it harder for them to go to sleep.

Have fun, and enjoy EVERY second with your kids...they grow up SO fast!
S.

First I may just trying to give a bath every other night. The off night just wipe them down with a wash cloth-something you can do by just lining them up infront of the tv, so maybe no one will run off. Then on bath night do you have a shower in the same bathroom as a bathtub? Put the 6year old in the shower, the two little ones in the tub, that way everyone is in the same place. Bring everything you will needed into the bathroom with you. PJ's, towels, underware, diapers, toothbrush, hair stuff-then lock the door-no one can run off before they are dressed and ready for bed. Then finsih your normal bed time stuff-stories/breathing treatments.

Good luck

First of all, give yourself a pat on the back because you are an amazing mom and woman! I honestly don't know how you muster enough energy to even get on the internet!
I only have one child, so I can't really tell you much. The only advice I might have is maybe thinking about not giving every child a bath every single night. Depending on how important you think it is to bath the children every single night, you might consider alternating nights. I give my daughter a bath every other night because her pediatric dermatologist told us that it is better for her skin. Bathing daily strips the skin of its natural oils and doesn't have time to replace them if they are washed off every 24 hrs. I realize some people find it hard to not bathe their children every night and use it as a calming down mechanism as well. But it might cut your bedtime routine in half! Your boy one night get a bath, while you read and tuck in the girls and vice versa. It might be nice for them to have "their bath night" even. THis is just a simple suggestion. I hope you can work something out, you need to preserve your sanity!!
Best of luck to you all!
M. Pinilla