Bed Time - Katy, TX

T.,

I have two children, ages 6 and 8. I have always been strict about the bedtime ritual, which included making sure THEY were responsible with getting their shower done, THEY were responsible for brushing thier teeth, making sure the bathroom and their bedroom were tidy before they go to bed.

Once they are in bed, I kiss them good night, cover them, and they each choose a short book to read. They understand after I am done reading, that is it for me. They are only to get up to go to the bathroom or get a drink. When they do, they are to cover themselves up, because I will not play the game of tending to them every time they decide to stall sleep.

I also let them pick out a night light, which both prefer to have on.

Because I have not waivered and allowed them to make me part of the stalling process, I have rarely had any problems. The nights they have decided to see if I will waiver, has only resulted in them finding out I am great at ignoring them. Do not reinforce bad behavior.

In the case of your son though, sit down and talk with him too to see why he is uncomfortable with sleeping alone. It may be something as simple as a night light or he thinks there is a ghost or monster in his room. Let him know the facts and like with my son, because that was an issue, we would look in the closet together and close the closet doors, so he understood there were no monsters in his room.

I hope this helps.

A.

I believe I saw this on the Nanny. Do this over maybe a week or so. You sit in a chair by his bed facing away from him. (With your back to him,read a book or something.) But you don't have eye contact or don't talk to him. If he gets out of bed put him back without looking or talking to him. Stay until he falls asleep. Each night have the chair farther away from his bed. Until eventually you are out the door and out of sight. Then that should be the end of it. It worked on that show. good luck.
Lonie

That is a tough situation. I know because I apparently SUCK at bedtime. LOL I still lay with my son till he falls asleep. I am hoping to change this in the new year.
We got a turtle nightlight that puts stars on the ceiling and gives good light. This is helping.
I can't wait to read the advice... AND thank you for asking!

Well, it's obvious the change of the move caused him some grief but yeah, I agree with you it's time for it to stop. 6 years old is ... well, old to be acting like that. I think you're doing the right thing.

A lot of kids will do things for attention - be it good or bad - because it's attention. Apparently something has thrown his little life for a loop.

My kiddo do this but he was 4 when we moved. I sat down with him... we went over all the different things in his room (it was kind of scary for him because it was new and dark) and I gave him a flashlight that he could use when he got up to go to the bathroom, etc.

I think you're doing the right thing and would just hope that after a while, he would know it's not going to work to get your attention.

Maybe, perhaps, you can set up a schedule and let him know that after you leave... you promise to come back to check on him -- but only if he's quiet and asleep... just to make sure he's okay and that's the ONLY way you'll go back in there.

I'd be frustrated beyond words - so good luck to you! ;)

I had a young son who cried at night also when we left him with his older brother to babysit. I found that by keeping a fun nite light on, plus letting the door open just a little it became a workable situation. Hope this helps

We had the same problem with our son. Our first child, a girl, was a piece of cake, but our son was a different story. I talked to my pediatrican about it and she referred us to a book. I forget the name of it, but the system goes.

Night one and two, put your son to bed. Leave the room, let him cry for 5 minutes before you go in and consult him. If after 5 minutes he is still crying, go in and let him know that you are still there and he is okay, leave and wait 5 more minutes before going back again.

Night three and four, put him to bed. Same routine, but wait 10 minutes.

Keep going, adding 5 minutes every other night.

No guarantee it will work, but for us, before the end of the week, my son was sleeping through the night and still does.

Yes, it is hard to listen to him cry, but if it works for you like it did us, the end result is so very worth it.

I think 6 years old is old enough to understand when it's bedtime. I know I used all of the tricks in the book when I was a kid to stall my mom and to try to stay up later (I need a drink, I need to go to the bathroom, etc.). I think this is his way of stalling.

If his room is dark, put in a nightlight. Let him pick one out if he wants...I think they have some fun ones for kids nowadays. You could also get him a flashlight so that he has control over it if that would make him feel better.

I think you need to tell him before he goes to bed that you will not be coming back. Tell him that it is bedtime and that is the end of it. Then, you have to stick to your guns and do not go back in there. Have you tried talking to him about why he gets so upset? At his age, he should be able to verbalize what the problem is. Maybe ask him what, if anything, you could put in his room that would make him feel more "at home" like he felt in his old room. 14 months seems like a long time to still be adjusting to new surroundings, so I really feel like he is just looking for attention. I think if you just let him know that you aren't coming back in and stick with it, he'll stop eventually because he will figure out that it won't get him what he wants. If he is really strong willed, then you're probably just gonna have to learn to tune him out. As long as you know he is not in danger, then there is no reason to continue to cater to his behavior. Best of luck to you!