Hi all. My dad will be 90 in January and has a plethora of issues - COPD, Congestive Heart Failure, Emphesema, age-related diabetes (mild), high blood pressure (has to watch sodium). He recently went into the hospital for surprise pneumonia, which happend because he aspirated food or liquid because his esophagus muscles aren't strong enough. The muscles weren't starting the swalling motion until just as they got to the epiglotis so it wasn't closing in time to keep particles from going into his lungs. No warning, just boom - sick. He was in for 6 days and is now home. He's weaker, but getting his strenght back.
The visiting nurses suggested the "mini" bar to give him support to get in/out of bed - kinda like the things they use for tubs/showers. He HAS the tub/shower thing - said OK to that. But was a huge NO WAY on the bed rail.
I totally get why, because it's a major visual reminder of his declining health. But if he falls and breaks a hip, he's screwed. He lives with my sister, and she's dealing with all of this.
Any suggestions on how to jury rig something, or what you've used in place of the medical-looking thing that would give him the grip to get up/down easily, but not make him feel like he's being defeated (more than he already does) by age?
Thanks!
"Dad, we love you and don't want you to fall getting in and out of bed. If you want to continue living at home, the bed rail is non-negotiable."
Look on Amazon for examples/products. Search for "safety bed rails for elderly."
Also Google Search "Home safety products for elderly."
Your Dad is in very poor health, in conjunction with his age. Each of his medical issues, demands certain products for safety. For his safety. Thankfully he has visiting Nurses to the home.
And his eating dangers, is something that has to always be watched. He already aspirated. It can happen, AGAIN. Know that.
And some elderly, do not recover from Pneumonia. So your Dad's eating has to be, watched. Or knowing what foods/textures, he can or cannot have. I had to do that with my Dad, too. I TOLD the Doctors, I went with him to his Doctor appointments. He could only have and eat, certain textures. Your Dad has esophagus muscles that aren't strong enough nor coordinated enough per swallowing. This is a big concern, per his eating. This has to be looked into.
My Dad was very ill before he passed. We had to install things in our home, because of his conditions and per his safety. We did not wait, until he felt like it. We just did it. It is for his SAFETY. It had to be, done. My Dad was frail. Due to all of his health conditions. And yes, he could have fallen out of his bed. We had the bed rails too. For him.
Many elderly, once they get a broken hip, their health declines. They do not heal, nor heal well from it. So know that. And, well at least for my Dad, because his health was so frail, he could NOT endure, any type of surgery. He was too weak, to handle a surgery. Of any kind.
One night, my Dad woke up to go to the bathroom. He fell on the way there. Why? Because, he had a stroke. And he never recovered from it, never getting back to "normal."
No one, could predict that that would happen.
And when someone has a stroke and falls because of it, they CANNOT call out, for help. They cannot get up. They cannot, get help. They cannot speak. My Mom, was sleeping. She did not know my Dad fell and had a stroke. She was sleeping. It was the middle of the night. My Dad was on the floor for hours.
Scenarios like that, can happen, at any time.
Your Sister, since your Dad is in her home... HAS TO, get her home all geared up and safety proofed. She should also get him one of those "alert" button things, like this for example: http://www.safetylinemedicalalertsystems.com/
Google search things like this.
Sure, the person can have a hard time, realizing that their health is declining and that they CANNOT do, things anymore. They have to, be more careful. And your sister has to be more careful too.
My Dad, could not even drive anymore. I had to tell him NO. You cannot drive! You cannot have the keys! You all, have to.... do whatever is necessary, to protect your Dad. And make things safe.
You either go and give in to him, or you protect him and make things safe.
My Dad, even had to use a walker. Those folding metal walkers that you push along in front of you. My Dad didn't want to use it. But he HAD to. He was not, stable on his feet.
You and your sister, have to do, what you need to do, per the safety of your Dad and installing what needs to be installed.
The bed rail, needs to be, gotten.
In addition to getting rails or grab bars for the house/bathroom, the tub or shower also has to have anti-slip type "stickers" put on the tub/shower flooring. An elderly person can slip and fall. In the bathroom. And the toilet area, also sometimes needs a grab bar next to it, because some frail elderly people cannot even get up from the toilet. It is not just grab bars, but safety things for the flooring too. That you need. Elderly can slip and fall or trip, in the bathroom/shower or tub areas.
With my Dad, I also had to make sure that there was no area rugs or mats on the floors etc. that could cause him to trip and fall.
Many things, have to be thought of.
And, per my Dad's case and lessened mobility/coordination... I would never, put a chair next to him to grab onto. Why? Because, it can topple over and they can trip on it or over it. It is not safe.
Also, we had to consider the heights of furniture for my Dad as well. Why? Because, he did not have the mobility or coordination or muscular strength, to sit in or get up from, certain chairs or sofas, that were of an awkward height for him. And we had to assist, him.
Many things to think of.
Poor guy, I get that he is feeling defeated but I would try to keep explaining to him that his health (don't say safety) is more important & trumps what he "sees" in his room.
Acceptance won't happen over night but poss in time.
What you can do in the mean time is put his bed in the corner against a wall of his bedroom to kind of keep one side safe.
Then see if you can order a bed rail (like for a kid's bed) that slips in between the mattress to keep secure. It does come up the side.
You can always order a hospital bed from your health plan if he won't object.
Other helpful things to have at the house: wheelchair, walker, recliner and one of those recliners that that actually mechanically push up to a standing position. These are all aids & don't have to be used every day all the time. But it's ideal to have them at the house when you want them.
If you don't have a good health plan or don't have one at all, you can call & inquire about Medical etc. (Last ditch effort....you can find some of these things at thrift stores. Just be sure they are safe.).
How about a sturdy wood chair with arms. Set right next to the bed, if might double as a bedrail.
Best to you, your dad and your sister.
F. B.
Would it be enough to have a walker or cane near the bed but a high backed chair right next to it instead of a rail? Or would there be a day bed type bed that would suit his needs if you put it backwards?
I also found http://www.colonialmedical.com/bedside-support-rail-P-912... andhttp://www.easycomforts.com/buy-adult-bed-rail-339400&...
The first one looks like a cane and the second one holds things like remotes and is more of a pocket holder than a simple rail. Maybe that would appeal to him.
they also make portable ones: http://www.parentgiving.com/shop/portable-bed-rails-500/c/
oh geez, you're striking a chill into my heart. my in-laws and dad are in their 80s, and becoming both more unable to cope and more stubborn about how to work within their restrictions all the time.
i find it worrisome and endlessly frustrating. it's hard to keep a game face on, but what choice do we have?
you have to pick your battles, but sometimes you have to be lovingly insistent. try a chair, or keeping a sturdy walker next to the bed, but if he's still wobbly with them, you and your sister will have to be firm in a not-condescending sort of way and just get a rail installed.
{{{{{}}}}}}
khairete
S.
Get a hospital bed and put the bed down low to the floor, so if he fell out he would only be about 6 inches from the floor.
Do not rely on a chair that could topple over.
Hang a grab bar or ladder type bars on the wall near the bed. make them a nice wood decorative looking?
A good chair,should serve the purpose. You don't say how old he is? Sorry missed that. 90 wow. God Bless Him. Try the chairr. Maybe a can to lean on. They have these three pronged one that might work. You can decorate it. Same with a walker. You can disguise it.
