Bath Time - Abbotsford,WI

Updated on April 26, 2012
L.H. asks from Abbotsford, WI
27 answers

I take care of my 3 yr old grandson and he hates having a bath.He starts to whimper as soon as he knows it is bath time. He says "No Grandma No!" and just keeps repeating it until he starts to cry which is when I wash him. When I wash his hair he screams and shakes his hands by his head. He seems terrified ! It is awful for him and his mom doesn't like to bathe him. He will not lay down so he has to have water poured on his head. I try to get him to tip his head back but all he will do is put it down forward. His mom says he used to like having a bath but that changed and she doesn't know why. He will not lay down in the tub either as that would make hair washing easier. When he liked to bathe he wasn't fond of having his hair washed but he would just get abit upset and not cry. His mom and Dad are the only ones that have ever bathed him so it is not like he had a negative experience with someone else. His mom said that he was ok with his bath until they moved in this house about 10 months ago. I am concerned his fear is becomming worse and I would like to try and find a way to make it a positive for him. I also am not enjoying his bath time and getting to the point where I don't want to bathe him anymore at least not like this. His bath has to be fast all the time and he doesn't even want his toys even want his toys or even his wash cloth to be in the tub. I made him a boat and went to put it in the tub and that couldn\t even go in.

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J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hmmm have you asked him why he doesn't like the bath? If he is speaking maybe you can get an answer from him. My daughter has always been a water baby, she cries when I DON'T give her a bath on demand (which would be like five a day). But when she does have something she doesn't want to do, when it comes time to do that thing I act super super excited. Like a lunatic, Oh Yay it's almost bath time! I can't wait for bath time! Wow look at this cool bath toy!!" A lot of times that works, if you are dreading it he might to. Otherwise you might try a reward system, you know,"If you are a good boy a take a quick bath afterwards then we can have a cookie."

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L.R.

answers from Madison on

This may be silly, but maybe he is afraid of the drain. Let him know that he and his toys are too big to go down.

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J.G.

answers from Springfield on

My boys screamed when I rinsed their hair! My oldest understands and tilts his head back, but my 2 year old still screams. I bought a foam visor:

http://www.amazon.com/Sassy-Visor-Bathing-Sunblock-Soccer...

It velcroes in the back. That did the trick! The water just falls to the sides or over the tip of the visor. They thought it was really cool!

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

My son went on a serious bathtime freak out when he was about 2 or so. Bad experience at a hotel pool, I'm pretty sure.

What we did:
bath in the kitchen sink. We think the tub felt too big for him. You wouldn't believe how long a kid can go without a bath and still be mostly clean.:) We did it very infrequently, but it was okay. Sponge baths, 'standing up baths' (where he stood in the tub and we used a pot of warm water to rinse him) worked well for us.

In regard to hair washing, (because it's scary to have water dumped on one's head at this age) we do the 'beauty parlor' method of clearing the kitchen counter, cushioning my son's neck on a rolled-up towel, and having him lay on counter with his head in the sink, facing upward. This has worked like a charm for us, and we do it twice a week without too much fuss or tears. Not everyone is as relaxed about this stuff, but in this case, I believe that working with my son to find solutions will help him relax. He now, by the way, enjoys baths in the big tub. He just had to come round to it when he was ready.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Maybe he would like a shower instead. Worth a try.

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A.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

My 4 year old went through this because he hated having the water poured on his head. We also tried everything and just had to push through that part of the bath. He eventually learned that laying down or putting his head back would eliminate the water going in his face and now at 4 1/2 he doesn't have any issues with the water, goes underwater in the pool and bath. We also tried the shower, which he liked after a few times, so it's worth a try.

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J.B.

answers from Rapid City on

I would look at it as any other type of anxiety. I would try to make it a more positve experience for him, in any way possible. Maybe play in the tub during the day without water. Take snacks or a special treat in there. Let him pick out a special new bath toy or bath colors or something that he would enjoy. Maybe try less water in the tub. I've also seen tub "visors", that kids can wear and the water then is directed to go down their back instead of over their face when you wash their hair. Another thing to consider is that kids don't need to be bathed as much as adults typically, so maybe reduce the number of baths. I'd also try a sponge bath with him, just wiping him off with a warm washcloth, getting in the folds and stinky feet. Gradually reintroduce him to the tub and make it fun and positive! This, too, shall pass.

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M.C.

answers from Omaha on

My youngest was the same. We think it was a form of claustrophobia because he was fine in the pool and in the pool shower room but not in the shower or bath that had doors on it. I guess he grew out of it because he's in with the doors shut now. We also got him the foam visor.

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L.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

you've gotten some good advice! How about letting him sit in the tub and play before trying to do any washing - then give him a washcloth to wash himself first, then Grandma can "help." if you want him to look up, i'd give him something to look for! My kids liked "how to train your dragon" so I'd tell my daughter to look up and tell me which dragons she could see or ask if the moon was out or "look up high where the airplanes fly!" Also, I often gave my daughter a dry washcloth to hold over her eyes while I rinsed her hair when she'd really freak out, now I have an extra dry one out for after I rinse her hair and she waits for it. The bathtub crayons are fun too - skip the markers, they don't work - a good distraction, same with bubbles, both a bubble bath or the kind you blow - We also have various spray bottles and cups that the kids enjoy playing with (he can use a spray bottle to try to pop the bubbles!) My kids also like to get their own hair wet for me before I wash their hair.

Main thing is to stay calm, smile and reassure him throughout it. Good Luck!

M.L.

answers from Houston on

maybe get some of those bathtub crayons and let him sit in there and play with him when it isn't bath time. Or, you could do just a quick shower for him.

I make my kids baths fast... I don't even allow the water to rise, it's unplugged the whole time. I pretty much let them sit in the tub and get wet, splash a bit, then make them stand up, I soap them down with a puffy loofah (use the same loofah on their hair), pour water on them with a big cup and they dry them off. Less than 5 mins for 2 boys.

For their eyes, they look down too, I just say, "Close your eyes, the water's coming" and they do.

All I know, is I wish you all luck! Dr. Sears has some advice for this, it's meant for a younger child, but some of the tips may help;

http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-sudden-fear...

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

there are all kinds of cool bath toys - i like to mix ours up pretty regularly because my son doesn't always enjoy his bath either, so the more interesting/exciting i can keep it, the better. maybe if he went with mom to check out all the cool bath stuff (in health and beauty section, and the baby section) at walmart, and picked something out, he might be more interested. i would also ask him if he would like to pour the water over his head himself. i have also let him take a shower (with supervision of course) and he gets to feel very grown up, like a big boy. also we have a removable shower head, so sometimes i have allowed him to play with it just a little, spraying the walls, then i use it to wash his hair. we have tried all sorts of things, to get over this bump. i think all kids go through this phase. just stay patient. there are lots of little tricks that can make it more bearable, as long as the grownup stays calm. also i noticed my son likes it better if i am sitting right next to him - not just within sight. he is probably feeling insecure because of the move. kids regress in all kinds of ways when major things like that happen. good luck!

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

The foam visor someone else suggested really helped us with hair washing when my oldest son went through the same phase. I like the shower idea too, especially in a shower with one of the hand held shower heads. Just a heads up on the bath crayons that someone suggested--my oldest son had really sensitive skin and the bath paints (although fun) caused a rash. That was several years ago so maybe they've improved the bath crayons/paints since then. There also used to be reusable bath stickers that you could put on the tub wall/tiles. They were made of a foam-like material. My boys liked those too.

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D.R.

answers from New York on

my kids like showers, it gives him more control, he can move in and out of the water as he likes. but my 3 year old still cries when i rinse his head, i give him a little towel to hold on his face and that helps. . those bathtub crayons are a favorite, he might like them, its a good distraction.

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H.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

I haven't read the other responses, but went through a similar situation with my daughter. For hair washing I give her a clean wash cloth to put over her eyes. For body washing I let her do it and my husband or I supervise (tell her where she needs to wash and in what order). She also gets to pick her toys to take in with her and we found a fun Sesame street bath time CD.
We also let her take showers. We found a kid size shower head (a shark) @ Home Depot. My husband figured out how to hook it up so our shower head can be on @ the same time so I can shower with her. He might like taking a shower with Daddy. Just a few suggestions. I hope they help. I know how you and his parents feel.

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B.M.

answers from Dallas on

hey sweetie, i haven't read your other posts so you may already have the answer, but anyway, my son's involved w/ECI for speech therapy and i complained of the EXACT SAME PROBLEM as what you're describing. all my friends say how much their kids love bath & mine HATED it...i didn't understand. :(
so my ECI people recommended me to get some crayons for him to color with in the bathtub. that worked SO WELL. we've gone through 2 packs already. i often get in the tub w/him too...about 2x/wk (he's 2 yrs old). ECI lady kinda elluded (sp) that he didn't enjoy bathtime b/c i rushed through it...i said i rush through it b/c he acts like a terd! so, w/me bathing w/him some & coloring w/him, we've had a nice experience, really. :) now it's a freakin' fight to get him out, but much better this way than the other way. also, i'll write shapes, letters, numbers on the wall so it turns into learning & playing time. she advised me to relate to him by thinking of how relaxing a bath can be & how just rushing through it is no fun. that toddlers really need that sensory feeling of water & splashing & playing, etc.
anyway, sorry for the LONG post, but i seriously JUST went through this about 2 wks ago. i REALLY hope this works for you. i know how tiring it is to bathe a battling toddler. i always HATED that time of day b/c of the fight. now, it's a lengthier process but worth it!
hope that helps some. :) good luck grandma! :)

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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

I agree that he could be scared of the drain. I showed my granddaughter that she couldn't fit down the drain.. even her little foot can't go down. I also have color tablets from crayola that changes the color of the water. It is fun and magical. My rule is they have to be washed first. Then we will put in one of the colors (red, blue or yellow) and let the water turn to that, then magically we change it to another color by adding a second tablet of a different color. The kids love it. You can by them at Walmart back where the bubble bath is sold. You might start with letting him have a tablet to drop in the water before getting in and tell him it is magic and will change colors when he is in there. then when you put him in drop one in without his seeing it. Relax and don't dread bathtime because he will pick up on that. We also use bath fingerpaint and bath markers. My four year old granddaughter doesn't like baths at her house but loves them here..lol.

T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

Does he like pools? You might want to try one of those inflatable baby tubs that fit in your tub and let him get in with his swim trunks on. Or you could get one of those bath bubble makers and fill the tub with bubbles. You could also try letting him sit in the tub with a babydoll and baby tub and have him wash the doll, then wash himself.

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L.A.

answers from Lincoln on

If you have a portable DVD player, take it to the bathroom and make it movie time to help him relax. If he doesn't like water in his face, eyes, or having to hold his breath, try swimming goggles or a diving mask for the eyes, a snorkle to continue breathing out of instead of holding his breath. Good luck!

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

I haven't read the other posts.. so I may be repeating...

At 3 he's old enough to take a shower... how about trying that? Something new and maybe it won't frighten him. We have added one of those hand held attachments and that helps tremendously re: getting the soap out of their hair and they like to play w/ it so the experience is a lot of fun... just have lots of towels on the floor :)

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L.M.

answers from Iowa City on

This to shall pass. We had screaming baths when my daughter was 2 and 3. Glad the neighbors didn't turn us in. I found the best way was to let her pick out one of her toys, or something in the kitchen, and let her take it in. We have a turkey baster and soup ladel in our tub! Now that she's 4 she's a lot better but when we do have troubles getting in, I still let her pick a toy and my latest trick is to have her get in while the water is running and she can stick her feet and hands in the water coming out of the faucet. I wouldn't not give a bath as scheduled, I always feared that would make it worse.

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A.S.

answers from San Diego on

Maybe have the Dad take a bath with him and make it a fun experience for him again. I think that might help, either that or have Dad and him take a shower together.

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E.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

Does he like to play with water? My sons loves to stand on a stool at the kitchen sink and pour water from one container into another and then another. Maybe you could do that a few times until he is comfortable being around the water and has fun with the containers-we just use plastic bowls and cups that we already have. Then move him to the tub with all of his containers and he could see that it's even more fun.
I wouldn't fight him on tipping his head back either. My son puts his head forward too. We just rinse it like that.
Some people have suggested a shower. I think that's a great idea too. My son loves to take a shower with my husband.
Good luck.

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E.S.

answers from New York on

My son is somewhat like that. He is now 14y old. He has sensory integration disorder. You should research on it. It is a very complex disorder. He senses things in a different way we generally do and also in a different level of intensity. I suggest you look for and Occupational Therapist and that you buy a book called The Out of Sinc Child to understand your grand-son better. I also suggest you to massage his scalp before bath time. One more suggestion that worked for my son for another issue related to the sensory integration disorder, check if the parents agree and have him see a hypnotist.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Try a shower instead.

Its a phase.

My son has had those anti-bath phases off and on. And he is now 4.

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K.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

How frequently is he getting a bath? We have a four year old, two year old, and six month old, and they get baths or showers once or twice a week. And they don't even really need them... they just really love them! Kids don't need to take baths or showers every day. Maybe go to every other day, three times a week, etc. That might help him get less worried about it. Also, we do showers with the kids, and they love them.

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N.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have you tried getting in the tub or shower with him? It may be less terrifying for him if there is someone holding him. Also try a rinse cup. We had a hard time getting our daughter to bath too because she didn't like the water poured into her eyes when we washed her hair. She also didn't let us lean her back because she felt like she was falling. We got a rinse cup and all the stress seemed to dissipate. Here's a link to the one at BABIES R US.
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2793366

I also shower with her sometimes. She feels more secure seeing that we have to take baths/showers too. Good luck!!

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A.C.

answers from Madison on

I went through this exact same problem with my daughter, only she was younger, like in her twos, I think. It got to the point where I couldn't give her a bath unless I took a bath with her. (which probably won't work as well for you, seeing you have a grandson...)

Since I was still working out of the house at the time and couldn't deal with a big struggle, that's what we did, for about a year. I gradually was able to wean myself out of bathing with her, but it took a while. I just replaced baths with a shower--which we still take together, and she's going on 11. Yeah. Well, it's either that or she doesn't/won't take a bath. I figure there are other things to fight about/make a stand on. I also figure at some point--maybe when she hits her teens--she won't want to take a shower with her mom anymore. When we wash her hair--even in the shower--she has to use a handheld towel over her eyes, otherwise I can't rinse her hair (she doesn't like the water in her eyes).

My daughter also has Sensory Processing Disorder, which is a very complicated neurological issue, and I think that has a large part to do with her hating baths. Combing her hair when she was younger was such an ordeal--it hurts just putting a comb through her hair. Washing her hair in the shower can also be a big deal, if her hair has too many tangles in it and I pull her hair/make her head hurt. I usually make her comb her hair before we get in; that usually solves the problem.

When she was young and we took baths together, we also played with toys in the tub. Well, she played and I washed her--body and hair. Still took a while to take a bath, but I had a clean baby. Note that we usually only took 2-3 baths/week. I didn't have all the time in the world! When I was in the tub with her and washing her hair, I'd have her lean back against me, almost lying down but on top of me, and then I'd wash her hair--the water wouldn't get in her eyes that way. When she got a bit older/used to the water again, and I washed her hair in the tub, I gave her a hand-size bath towel (one of those smaller ones that get put out for people to wipe their hands on) to put over her eyes. It got soaked with water, but she at least let me wash her hair.

One thing we also tried that my daughter liked were the wax crayons that can be used in the tub. She could draw with them and then we'd wash off her pictures until next time. She liked that well enough that bathtime wasn't at least dreaded.

Does your grandson have any other issues other than bathtime? The bathtime incident with my daughter occurred at the same time as a variety of other issues, which we finally had confirmed as Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) when she was 5. So you might want to remain alert and observant to any other issues that seem "over the top."

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