Bad Habit to Nurse to Sleep?

4 months old? I'd keep doing what you're doing. He's still an infant. At 6-7 mos., you can make some changes if you need to. Here's a link to a really helpful book.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified...

sounds like you're maternal instincts are effective. keep up the good work. here's a site that might help explain the sleep and feeding needs

http://drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

I'm sorry, but I have to strongly disagree with the moms who say nursing to sleep is a great idea. It's a good idea as long as you will never ever need or want anyone else to put your baby to sleep. Is that what you want? Why start a habit that you will just have to break later on? The absolute best advice I ever got regarding babies was, "Start as you mean to go on."

By all means, nurse your baby before bed. But when you see him getting drowsy, put him in his crib and let him fall asleep on his own. Believe me, you will be doing both of you a huge favor. You will build his confidence and your freedom. Everybody wins!

As for the sleeping, sounds like you're doing a fantastic job. And kudos to you for nursing - it's one of the best things you can do for your precious little guy.

Best of luck to you!!

Hi F.,
He sounds like a great sleeper! Babies typically nurse at least once during the nite at this age. I think he should probably go to bed earlier at 4 months though. Babies at this age should go to bed no later than 8:00 pm. Try bumping his bedtime up by 15 minutes each day. You can do a dream feed right before you go to bed if you are concerned that he will wake up more if he goes to bed earlier.

Regarding nursing to sleep, it's a hard habit to break especially if you want your baby to eventually learn to soothe himself to sleep. Once your baby is 4 months and 14 lbs, you can teach him to soothe himself to sleep. When you are ready to do this, I highly recommend the book "The Sleep Easy Solution" by Jill Spivak.

good luck.

I have seen lots of controversy on this website regarding babies and sleep habits and parental involvement. When my first baby was born, I did a lot of reading about different parenting styles, including methods and history (where these philosophies came from). As the mommy, you get to choose your own style. You can nurse your baby to sleep if you want to. Or you can let him learn to soothe himself to sleep. As a new mom, I never did like that advice to "follow your instincts." I literally did not feel like I had any instincts with my first baby and I was so completely overwhelmed by the new responsibilities of parenthood. As I became more experienced, I felt like I gained some "instincts" (but I think it falls more under the category of "experience"). I don't know if that applies to you, but that was me (and I think I am a bit of a mutant!:)

After getting myself educated on the topic, I felt it was better to let my babies learn to soothe themselves to sleep. I have never regretted it, either. I now have two toddlers, 3 and 2 years old, who have been going to bed happily and sleeping through the night (and naps) since they were infants (with the exception of illness, of course). Critics of those who choose to train their babies to sleep on their own may say that your child will feel insecure because you are not responding to his needs. I have never ignored my babies' needs. And my children are very secure and confident in my love for them.

If you are interested in researching different parenting philosophies, you could start by looking at the two opposite extremes, "On Becoming Babywise" by Ezzo/Bucknam (you will see a lot of criticism about this, but most seem to be from people who never read it. I read it and don't see what all the fuss is about. I found it quite helpful) and on the other end is "Attachment Parenting" (you can find information easily on the web). There are lots of other books and programs out there that deal with babies and sleep and I think most fall somewhere in the middle between the two "extremes."

If you just want to "go with your own flow," you can! (like I said, I didn't have a "flow" so I couldn't go with it!).
As for the sleep duration. Sounds pretty good to me. I prefer earlier bedtime for my own kids, but then they wake up earlier, of course. So it depends on your preference, but I believe most babies/kids need 10-12 hours of sleep each night for the first several years. A couple of naps during the day are good, too, maybe three, depending on how long he sleeps. I believe babies that age need about 14-16 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period (but it's been a while since I looked it up, so don't quote me on it!:)

One thing I think all moms agree on: enjoy your baby!

F.,

Your son sleeps great! My daughter did not sleep that long when she was your sons age. I have heard it is not the best for a nursing child to go to sleep nursing because they will expect it to go to sleep. In otherwords, they will not learn how to get themselves to and back to sleep without it.

My daughter was going to bed about 9 pm until she was almost 6 months old and then she miraculously began to go to bed around 7:30 pm. I don't think it's that uncommon for infants to go to bed around 9 pm. I think because they sleep so much that it's what their bodies are telling them to do. Lastly, if he is sleeping for the recommended time throughout the day you should be fine. If he isn't that's maybe when you may want rethink the schedule so he can sleep for the recommended time. I went to babycenter.com and go the info on how long babies should be sleeping at different ages from there.

M. P

I nursed my daughter to sleep until she was around a year and a half. I think it is a personal decision and you should do what suits your needs as well as your babies. I did not have the difficulties weaning her from that (Almost everyone told me I was starting a terrible habit) but it worked fine for us and when I stopped she did well, I just replaced nursing with something else, cuddly time and a sippy cup and had no problems at all.

You should be careful not to nurse to sleep too often. I know it makes it easy to get your little one to sleep and it is sweet to have your little one snuggled up with you. However, it is incredibly bad for the baby's teeth. There is a lot of sugar in milk and can cause cavities in emerging baby teeth. Believe me, you don't want to have your 2 year old strapped down to a dentist chair to have a cavity filled! It was the most horrendous thing I've ever had to do to my little precious girl. I know a lot of moms are all about attachment parenting, but there are other ways to be close to your little one that won't be a harmful in the long run.

You are blessed with a great sleeper - enjoy it! I nurse my kids to sleep too, nothing wrong with it in my opinion.

Here is the deal, when you decide to wean, your baby will learn to go to sleep without nursing, end of story. It was a very simple transition for us. One night of saying, "sorry baby, no nursing tonight, instead we're going to read a few stories and then rock for a bit." The next night, it was forgotten about.

There are zero first graders out there nursing to sleep - enjoy these moments with your baby and just know that this is a phase, and it will soon transition to something new.

I would not worry about the length of sleep. All sleep is a good thing!

But nursing to sleep can be bad-bad for the babies teeth, and a tough habit to break. So, is it going to hurt your child, no, but, in the long run it will make life harder. So, take your pick-tough now or later? good luck

Why resist nature?! Nursing your baby to sleep is the most natural thing... it has been happening since the dawn of humankind! Your baby is sleeping great! Congratulations on doing such a great job as a first time mommy!

Dear Faye,

For heaven's sake he is a baby, not in the Army. He is a perfect baby you are so lucky. That nursing him to sleep is perfect. Can you imagine how in love he is with you ? Feeding him until he goes into a wonderful restful sleep ?

Amen, C. N.

Wow! It sounds like you are both doing great! You may find that if you put him to bed around 6 or 7 he will still sleep until the a.m. Don't fret too much, you have a great little sleeper...count your blessings! :-)

First instinct is to say YES. But then everybody's situation is different, so i don't want to say that what you're doing is wrong. But i would gently suggest that you try other means ALSO. So that when your boy is older...like a few months older...it would be easier on you that he learns to fall asleep through other means..like to self-soothe.
good luck

Aww, quit bragging! If you've got your baby sleeping from 9pm to 6am, I wouldn't change a thing! :)

Hi
I think you should do what works for you and your baby.....my daughter did the same and it hasnt caused any problems. When she got bigger we would start reading bedtime stories and sing and that worked just as well. I think as first time mommy's we worry too much. Just do what works best for the two of you. Enjoy the "baby-time"they grow way too fast =)

S.

Congratulations on having a baby that sleeps through the night! IF you are concerned about him getting enough sleep, one thing you can do is keep a sleep diary so that you can see how many hours a day he is getting (13-16 hrs/day is about right for 4 months old), and just know that it may fluctuate depending on various factors. My daughter sleeps about 14-15 hours a day including naps IF she is at home, but if we're visiting, etc, her naps go out the window!

Nursing to sleep - I just try to be flexible about it. My daughter often falls asleep while nursing but sometimes she doesn't. So I sing or read to her, or just put her in her crib and rub her belly or back. Sometimes she fights her sleepiness and will cry, and then suck her thumb. So I do a combo of self-soothing and nursing to sleep.

For bedtimes - watch your baby's cues. You may find that your son wants to go to bed earlier and it's always good to get them ready for bed before they are overtired. My daughter first started going to bed around 11 pm, then 9:30 pm, and now she gets really cranky if she's not in bed by 8 or 8:30 pm.

Good luck - and it really sounds like you're doing well!

F.,

The only "negative" I see in this is that your baby is going to be super-attached to you, which is GREAT! If he conutinues sleeping like he is you're set, but as he grows, he'll likely need to eat more often. My baby needs to eat every 3 hours on average so it has led to her co-sleeping with us when she wakes up in the middle of the night and I'm too tired to put her back in her own bed, (She actually sleeps better/longer when she's next to me.)

As for how easy it will be to wean him...all babies are different. Some give in easily when denied, others will stage a hunger-strike accompanied by banshee-like wails. My baby is soo attahced ,she often helps herself as often as every half-hour to my breasts! I think she's deffinitely going to put up a fight when I decide to wean her. Luckily for her, her Daddy is willing to work all the overtime necessary so I can stay home with her.

As for his sleep schedule...he's young enough that he doesn't really need a schedule. (Mainly a schedule helps you to keep your sanity. If you can get him to follow one, it could help you run your household better and also your marriage, but it's not likely he'll co-operate.) When he's older, especially getting close to school-age, it will definitely be important for him to have an early bed time, because he'll HAVE to be up early, but for now unless, you get him up at a specific hour, you shouldn't worry about it.

-I.

F.- first of all congrats on making it through nursing, i know it can be trying the first few months. i wouldnt worry about nursing your son to sleep, we did this until my son just decided he was done nursing at about 12 months. I would recommend putting him down a little earlier if you could. Most sleep books recommend putting babies to sleep no later than 8pm. If you want to try this, I would just push the bedtime back in increments of 15 minutes. The estimate of bedtime sleep length for babies this age is 11-12 hours. Good luck with everything and remember whatever works for you, works for you!

You will get a lot of feedback on this one I'm sure......my son was nursed to sleep for many many months, it was the only way I could get him to go to sleep and stay asleep. At 4 months he was not sleeping that long though so I don't think you should be looking for him to sleep more than 8 or 9 hours at this point. My son would go down at 9 and wake again at midnight, he'd eat and then sleep until 5. Every baby is different though so it's hard to say how much sleep is too much or too little. I know babies brains develop best when they are awake.

I loved putting my baby to sleep after nursing, if you are comfortable doing it then don't change a thing.

I think when he gets older you should try putting him to sleep and let him go to sleep on his own. It's good for them to learn that independence and know they are safe even when you are not there

Hope any of this helps........
A.

I am going to tell you my story, not so much advice. My daughter is high needs, has since birth. She required 30-45m nursing session every 2 hours, yes almost half of my day was nursing her. The point is that she is very breastfeeding demanding kinda girl. She is 2.5 now and still nurses even through a pregnancy, not telling you this to scare you, just trying to show you the kind a daughter/nurser I have. Up until recently she HAD to be put to sleep either nursing or dancing (with daddy). Any other way and she was screaming. and she is not one to give up, persistent lil girl that one is.

well recently she will nurse and then go to her bed and fall asleep. some days are easier than other, but she is learning to put herself to sleep on her own. Something i didnt think she would be able to do until she was 10, Just kidding.

So i went with my instinct and just kept nursing her to sleep.

F.,

It depends on who you ask. I nursed both of mine to sleep until they were 2 years old. For me, this was a small sacrifice on my part.

I followed my gut rather than listened to well meaning friends telling me otherwise. Eventually, I got wise and surrounded myself with likeminded Mommies.

Keep up the great work!
M.

If this is working for you, I say stick with it!! You will eventually have to do away with it, but gosh...THE BOY SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT!!! Don't mess with that!!!! There will be so many changes between now and weaning time, that I would worry about weaning when the time comes. For me, I kept the last feeding and weaned the rest of the feedings during the day. Eventually, I dried up and it took care of itself. Since she wasn't getting anything from me, she no longer needed it to go to sleep. She was weaned completely a few weeks after she turned one.

Make sure that you clean his teeth pretty well. I cleaned my daughter's teeth after bath but not after the last feeding, but we did not have any problems.

Assuming he naps well during the day it sounds like that is probably enough sleep, but I'm no expert on that.

I can tell you my experience with nursing to sleep. It depends on what is OK with you! It will probably form a habit. If you stop in the next couple of months and use some form of sleep training, I have heard others have had great sucess at his age. My twins still nurse to sleep at 20 months! I didn't necessarily mean for it to go on this long, I thought they would grow out of it before now but the truth is it works for us and they sleep well after that so it has just become our special time. They only nurse twice a day, to sleep and then when they wake in the morning. They gave up all of the other nursing times readily on their own so I'm sure this will end all too soon as well. They don't need to nurse down for their nap, only at night as part of their bedtime "ritual."

I guess what I'm saying is that if you don't want to continue to nurse him to sleep for a LONG time then yes, it is a habit forming practice and is probably easier to stop earlier than later. But if you're willing to and/or want to that is OK too. ALL of my friends and family think I'm doing my kids some terrible disservice and making a mistake but it feels right to me and my kids are great sleepers other than that, they are healthy and very happy so I think it's just fine for me. I hope you find what works for you!

My son is 3 months and I also nurse him to sleep. He sleeps almost the exact amount of time your son does, including the 90 mins after he eats.

Great job nursing and don't worry about it being a bad habit, that's nature's BEST thing for your baby, MADE FOR your baby, keep it up. About how much sleep, they need about 12hrs at night and then 2-4 hr nap.

I am responding to Jessica V, who said that nursing to sleep is bad for their teeth, that is untrue when it comes to breastfeeding, it is very true of putting a baby to sleep with a bottle but does very little harm if any when you are breastfeeding "evidence indicates on the other hand, that nursing past a year helps prevent crooked teeth, and possibly sleep apnea, later in life" The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers Jack Newman, M.D.

You will run into people (even "experts") who say it's a terrible idea, but then Mark Weissbluth ("Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child") says it's the most natural thing in the world, and he's been a practicing pediatrician for decades and also runs a pediatric sleep clinic.

There are two things I would keep in mind... One is that it is useful to have more than one trick in your bag. So nurse to sleep often, but try to use other methods too, or have someone else occasionally soothing baby to bed.

With my daughter, I found that she expected me to breastfeed her to bed, but was perfectly happy being rocked to sleep by Daddy or patted to sleep by Grandma. It was a rare event that I wasn't at home to put her to bed myself, but it was nice to have the option.

The other thing you may eventually have to deal with is weaning. If you just breast feed until your son weans himself, you won't need to worry about it, but I decided to wean my daughter at 21 months. With a new baby on the way, I just didn't want to be nursing both at once, and morning sickness was making it difficult.

I just substituted cuddles and lullabies at bedtime. She asked for "boop", but seemed happy enough to accept a substitute. I just made sure that the substitute met most of the same needs, as breastfeeding wasn't really about hunger at that age.

You are fine nursing to sleep, once he gets teeth however you will want to taper off because it promotes cavities to have milk in his mouth while sleeping.

My pediatrician says that people complain that babies act like the world owes them, but the first 5 months it darn well does. Let him be comforted and happy now so he knows mom is all there for him and as the situation changes, so do the rules.

Everybody has there own point of view, but I nursed both of my babies to sleep at night and have only wonderful memories of this special time with them. Your infant's sleep time seems very reasonable to me. I wouldn't worry about changing it unless either you or he has a problem.

nursing to sleep could be a potential dental problem once your little one has teeth. The milk pools in the mouth and could possibly cause decay and cavaties (from all the sugars in the milk).

Some people think it's a bad habit. Others think it's a healthy thing. I fall into the latter category.

I nursed mine to sleep till they were 3 yrs and 3 months. (They are in their own bed, own room.) I was * hoping * they'd self-wean earlier, did not, so that when I put the breaks on.

You don't have to nurse to sleep that long. If it becomes a problem for you at some point, you can follow Dr. Jay Gordon's nighttime weaning technique.
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

No history of cavities in my family and nursing to sleep (my firstborn son (8) nursed 2-3 hours every night for the first 2-3 years! and my daughter (now 4) slept likes your does - through the night).

You are doing great! And if you need support, go to your local La Leche League breastfeeding support meeting. It's a FREE support group and in meetings you'll hear other problems, suggestions, get support and tips. It's a great resource group. You can find a local chapter on their website.

F.,

If what you are doing is working, keep it up. Sleeping from 9 p.m. to 5 or 6 and then another hour or two? Sounds pretty good to me. Is he happy and feeling good during the day or does he act like he needs more sleep? Is he napping well? If it isn't broken, don't fix it.

As far as nursing to sleep, I'm a big fan of it. I always nursed both my sons to sleep when they were nursing and I loved the quite time with them both. They get so big so fast and it is such a short period of time. A lot of folks think breastfeeding leads to tooth decay but it really doesn't: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-baby/tooth-decay.html as long as you are brushing your baby's teeth and not leaving the sugar from other foods on his teeth, breastmilk by itself shouldn't do any harm.

:-)T.

I would give yourself some the next few months... My son is similar and was sleeping well. a few times, he was well fed, with a clean diaper, and seemed tired. It was time to sleep and although I fed him he didn't fall asleep. So I put him in the crib and turned the mobile on.. he cried himself to sleep.

I have realized that he does need to learn to go to sleep, by himself. it helps to have that as an option. But when he is sick, or when we are in a different place, or when i need him to sleep. It is also nice to be able to nurse him to sleep, as well.

good luck.

Nurse him to sleep! Read all about attachment parenting. It's wonderful!

My son is 10 months old and I still nurse him to sleep. I figure it won't last forever and since I work, it's one of the few times I get to sit and relax with him one-on-one. I haven't figured out what I'm going to do when we decide it's time to quit nursing, but I guess I'll figure it out when we get there. I think it's great and keep up the good work! And congrats on getting him to sleep through like that... it took us 9 months to get to that point :-)

F.,
I don't think it's a bad habit to nurse him to sleep, especially at this age. It's comforting for him and gives him a full tummy for a good night's sleep. I think when it comes to weaning, though, all babies are different. I nursed my baby every night before bed up until the time he started self-weaning, which was at about 9 months. Sometimes he fell asleep nursing and sometimes he didn't, but even when he didn't he was so relaxed he went to sleep pretty easily. I still give him a couple ounces of milk in a bottle before bed and it really helps wind him down. But he also self-soothes and can put himself back to sleep if he wakes up.

As far as whether he's sleeping enough, all babies are different, but it sounds like he's a pretty good sleeper. In fact, your pattern sounds a lot like what my baby did at that age. I gradually started putting him to bed earlier and he still slept through the night. He now sleeps 11 to 12 hours straight, from about 7:30 to 7:00 (he's 10 months).

Sounds like things are just fine!
Good luck,
K.