ok i cant bel im going through this and need some support.. im 27yrs old my own family and nice house. my dad is remarried to a woman with 4 kids and i have one real brother so 6 total and my brother still lives at home with our dad and step mom. ok heres the prob. my dad has bad fibromyalgia and takes pain pills..which have this week just went missing. now keep in my mind since they have been married its always been a little of our family against theirs u know . but now everyone is against my brother for taknig these pills after he swears to god he didnt touch them! and now all of her kids are threating my 20yr old brother for sayingit was one of them. i 100% bel my brother . one of her kids has been caught stealing something out of my dads house before! its getting very ugly. i mean ugly. i want to stay out of it but want to help my dad and brother. my brother is becoming very depressed ..he gets blamed for everything and i just feel bad for him cuz hes not that type of kid. i need some advise this is maknig me sick. thanks a lot ..theres obviously more to the story but this is the basic issue right now.
i also heard my step mom might have been thinking about an apt. is that something i tell my dad or stay out of their relationship??????
must mention my dads pills were in a safe someone searched for key.
and i heard from my step moms daughter shes looking for an apartment
Hi, A.:
I believe the family needs a Family Group Conference to resolve this issue.
Call the Good Sheppard's Mediation Program in Philly and
ask if there is someone who can run a conference for you all in the area in which you live.
Good luck.
D.
Your brother needs to move out. Stay out of your dad & stepmom's relationship.
At 20...your brother needs to move out and avoid the drama. It is just that easy. If he weren't there, he couldn't be blamed. He is a big boy and whether it is stealing, communication, bad blood, whatever...this should be a sign that NOW is a great time to cut the cord. At 20...he is not any type of "kid."
Stepmom and dad's relationship...run from that topic!!! It has nothing to do with you, and it sounds like it is already a nasty "us vs. them" scenario.
Both you and your brother need to distance yourself from this very negative dynamic.
There is a lot unsaid here and so it is a little hard to advise fairly.
Start by taking a deep breath. I'm sure you love your family and want to protect them. This is hard.
I don't think there is much you can say to change what is going on, but you can offer your support. What is your brothers situation? Is he working or in school? If so. If he is productive, would you be comfortable offering for him to stay with you temporarily. If this is not something you would be comfortable with then just lend your brother support emotionally. Tell him you believe him and let him vent to you. You cannot control what goes on in someone else's home. It probably will not be helpful to try to intervene either. Your father, and your brother, are old enough to make their own decisions. Your brother is old enough to find alternative living arrangements if he is unhappy there.
I'm trying to tell you that you can't really come in for the rescue.
You say "I also heard my step mom might be thinking about an apt." You leave a lot unsaid. Where did you hear it? Is it a secret? Again, you can't control anything, but are you comfortable supporting your Dad emotionally? Ask him if everything is alright between he and his wife. Let him know you want to support him...... not tell him what to do or put down his wife.
You can't fix it, but you can love your family.
Hope all turns out well.
Stay out of their relationship unless you are prepared to go to war too. Both your Father and Brother are adults and there on their own free will. I am sure if you know of the apartment, so does your Father.
Ok I will be very honest with you here hun. When I was a teenager I had a horrible problem with pain pills, my mom also had FM. Its a long story, but I have been sober for years, thank god.
You need to be 100% positive your brother isn't into that stuff, and if so get him help. It's hell to go down that road, and even harder to get out of it. It's best to remember that these types of situations are stressful on anyone, and you must relax. There is only so much you can do as a daughter for your father, as as a sister for your brother.
Personally, I agree. Stay out of their relationship, and get your brother out of there. You mentioned him being "a kid" but that doesn't say whether he is young but of legal age, or a minor still. I am sorry for this, I have similar issues with my family..and we rarely speak anymore because of this.
Your best bet is to do what you can to get your brother out of there, because obviously the theft won't stop if he's truly the one not doing it and he is gone, and hopefully your father sees the truth.
Good luck.
Sounds like it might be good time for brother to move out on his own, or into your house.
I'd stay out of it, it's not your problem. Your brother is 20 and is an adult and your parents are adults. Let them work it out. Is your brother a full time student, why is he still living at home? If you get involved in anyway you will bring this dysfunction into your home as well. If you and hubby want the drama go ahead and jump in. I dont see any easy answers to any of it tho. Sounds more like a Jerry Springer episode, and those never get solved at the end of the show either.
Sounds like it is time for your bro to get out of there. Can he come and live with you for a little bit while he looks for a place? He should check for people that need roomates. Not sure what his situation is with work or school but at that age there are lots of housing opportunities with kids all living in apartments. If he has to move a little bit away to do this then thats what he should do. Esp if living with your dad and his SW family is depressing him and they are treating him bad.
How does your dad feel? Hopefully he isn't blaming your brother as well.
Well there has to already be an issue in that house if your dad locks his pills in a safe, who does that? That being said, can you put up your bro for a few weeks? Let the dynamic in that house change and see what else goes wrong with him OUT of the house? I would not get involved with your dads and step-M's marriage. You won't win.
Can your brother stay with you? He needs to be out. Someone took the pills. Time will tell who took them.
In differant situations I have always told my father when my step mother says something of importance. I would definately tell him.
I would stay out of their relationship. I would not be happy if your brother is being accused of thing he is not doing. I would let your brother live with you for a while and see what happens. Your stepmom is probably stressed with all that is going on that is why she is talking about an apartment. May be your Dad misplaced his pills. There are other things to take for fibromyalgia like lyrica. Is he taking that also in conjunction with the pain pills? Try to sit back and see what happens but stay out of it.
