My 7 year old son came home in floods of tears after being desciplined in school (has never been in that situation till now) - I want to know whether it was a bit over the top - I have only heard the story from him - will talk to the teacher tomorrow.
Basically he says he was made to apologise for 'spitting' at his friend when stnding in line after lunch time, returning to his class room. He siad he said sorry and that he will not do it again and also wrote an apology letter to his friend.
From what he told me - it seemed more like 'blowing raspberries' rather than 'spitting' ! He was in shock that his teachers told him off and was basically very upset that he had done something really wrong.
By nature, he is a bit shy and not out going - but he is trying to come out of his shell a bit these days - he also sees his younger brother who is 3 years doing this 'spitting' and may be he thought it was funny!
I dont mind the disciplining but I dont want this to knock his confidence when he is just trying to may be come out of his shell.....or am i over reacting??
Thanks everyone. That is all very reassuring. As some of you have put it I knew in the bottom of my heart to back the teacher. As it was the first time I didn't want to be complacent - I had a chat with my son and told him it was unacceptable and he felt really sorry about the whole thing. He couldn't wait to tell me what had happened but was fine after he had cried and told me everything. I am all for disciplining!! Thanks all.
You are overreacting. Spitting is a health hazard. Nip that behavior in the bud. It's not cute. The teacher reacted appropriately.
You are overreacting. Calling it by a cute name doesn't make a less rude act or any less spitty. It was wholly appropriate.
Yes, I feel you are over reacting. I would not be contacting the teacher to discuss the poor behavior either. Your son didn't get sent to the office. You didn't get a phone call home. He isn't suspended.....the teacher handled it appropriately. Your son wrote a letter of apology. If you feel you need to contact the teacher, I would suggest a simple email stating your son came home and told you of the situation. If this poor behavior continues to please let you know.
Kids make good choices and sometimes bad choices. It's how they learn.
You are way overreacting, as is your son... He SPIT on another child!!!! Call it what you want, but no form of that is cute, okay, or acceptable. He was made to apologize and was verbally reprimanded as he should have been, it's not like they caned him. Geez, I hope you're not REALLY gonna contact his teacher??? Tell him not to do it again, ever, case closed.
Why would anyone want their kid confident he can spit on people? Confidence comes from knowing how to behave, being told he was wrong is a step in that direction.
I do not get involved in these little events at school. if there is a big problem.. the school calls the parent and talks about it. I do not need to be involved in every little thing that happens on a normal day at school. the teachers are professionals and they discipline as they see fit in the moment in their classroom.. I may not agree totally all the time..
I have only once had the school call me .. and then only cause the discipline rose the level of the principal... sometimes the child has to cry and feel bad to learn the lesson that it is not acceptable to be silly funny goofy... at school .. and each grade he goes up the behavior standard is stricter..last year he might have gotten away with blowing raspberries.. this year not so much... let it go.. let the teacher do their job.
I agree with those below -- overreaction.
Please re-read your own post. You mention that he "has never been [disciplined by a teacher] until now." You say that he was "very upset that he had done something really wrong."
This is his first experience of being told he's wrong and he doesn't quite get why, and he feels (as any young kid would) that the entire universe saw it and is frowning at him. It feels like the end of his world, hence the "floods of tears" that are making you, mom, feel like he's been put upon. But he's just reacting to the fact he has never before been singled out negatively like this. Every single kid has this experience at some point; there's a first time, even for the very best behaved kids, when the child is called out by a teacher. It's also YOUR first experience of this, and the post gives a feeling that you think he's been handled too roughly.
Please let this go. This will not send him back into his shell, which I suspect is what you fear. You know that this isn't a way to be the popular, funny guy in class, right? And that the teacher was right to call him out on it? You know those things in your gut (I hope) and if you can set aside your own understandable hurt at his first instance of being disciplined -- that will be best for both you and him too.
If he senses that mom does not back up his teacher, or that mom feels he didn't deserve what he got (which frankly wasn't much -- an apology note is a pretty easy consequence), he too will feel he didn't deserve it and is in the right to feel wounded. He was wrong and it's over and he shouldn't do it again. Lesson learned. Don't rehash it with him, do back up the teacher, and don't talk to her about it or say you fear he will go all shy because of this.
He only wrote a letter and apologized. He needs to learn to be able to handle doing those things.
He was goofing around and it wasn't tolerated. I understand he's shy and coming out of his shell, but there are still boundaries. I would just explain to him why the behavior was unacceptable (he still may not completely understand) and then just let it go.
it's splitting hairs to try and say that blowing raspberries isn't spitting. if you were the mom of the kid being spat upon i don't think you'd appreciate the nuance.
it's actually great that your son took the discipline so much to heart. it proves that you are raising a nice boy who isn't used to getting into trouble and doesn't like it.
just stay calm and back the teacher. help your son understand her reasoning, and not to over-dramatize it.
this isn't really 'bad' behavior, just a nice boy being momentarily naughty and being called on it. no biggie.
khairete
S.
Sorry.. I'm with the teacher and the others on this point...
Spitting should NOT be accepted as "funny behavior" .... maybe you need to look at what the 3 year old is also doing, if his big brother is starting to imitate his behavior?
And yes, you are overreacting, if you think the teacher was wrong in disciplining him this way.
I know what you mean when you have a shy child who never misbehaves and then does one thing they maybe didn't even realize was wrong or against the rules and they're kind of squashed. But teachers are pretty overloaded and have to be consistent. And you weren't there to really know. I would talk to him and explain that the teacher has to make sure kids don't start spitting. Assure him it doesn't mean the teacher doesn't like him or he needs to never try to have fun. I wouldn't say anything to the teacher. Just reassure him and he'll forget quickly.
What's the difference in blowing raspberries and spitting?
You think it was over the top for him to apologize and write a note of apology to the person he spit on?
What am I missing?
It's disgusting to spit on someone. He is 7,not 3. He KNOWS better, and if he doesn't....he should.
The teacher isn't trying to knock his confidence, she is stopping him from doing something gross.
Pretty standard punishment for the behaviour you described.
'blowing raspberries' = spitting
Spin it however you want, but your child's saliva hit another kid and that's not okay.
The teacher handled the situation appropriately. I'm sorry your kiddo had a rough day, but you need to back the teacher on this one.
You are overreacting. IF it was something like this where his bodily fluids were actually going on someone else. That's how flu and other illnesses are spread. It's not a good thing to do nowadays.
If he is not a routine troublemaker he is likely embarrassed and worried.
I would reinforce what the teacher said (spitting on your friends or anyone is not OK) then remind him that even though he made a mistake, everyone makes mistakes and his teacher still knows he's a good kid, as do you.
Then move on.
Teacher was right. Your son spit on another raspberry or not. Its gross and he needs to know he can't do that. Now he does.
I'm surprised the school didn't send a note home or called. I know it's hard seeing your child cry and be so upset, but I don't think the teacher was out of line at all. I too, have a shy son, and he's gotten in trouble for doing some things at school, he does not like attention at all on him. However, we talk about what happened and how he cannot do those things.
I know I'm guilty of; "Oh my child wouldn't do that" and my child would do that, and got caught doing that.
He'll remember this and never spit again at someone at school.
