Bad Behavior in 2 Yr Old

Hi J.,
I'm so glad you said you are trying not to yell. It never does work, it only hardens their hearts against yours. I also wouldn't care if it hurt his feet. That would actually be a blessing because of the message it would send him (yes, it hurts to behave this way!). I guess I would ask you how you will handle other discipline issues as he gets bigger? Are you going to just let him do whatever and ignore it until he gets bored with it? I know some people have suggested that method. I think it is setting you up for a major struggle with your son, one that will embitter both of you towards each other. Do you have friends in real life who have obedient, joyful children? Do you know anyone with older children who you want your son to grow up to be like? If you know anyone like that, go to them and ask for counsel. You have no idea what the ladies on this list are like in the parenting department. We may all offer all sorts of counsel, but you don't know if the person advising has a child screaming in the background, drawing with sharpie markers all over the carpet, the house a disaster, the children unkempt, etc. Go to those you know are doing well in this area for counsel. I know, it sort of defeats the purpose of this list in some ways, but this particular issue is way too important to leave to an anonymous advisor. BTW, for what it is worth, I would not let him continue kicking. I would not yell, I would not use time-outs (we never use time outs). Yelling belittles your authority. Time-outs (and restrictions) teach the children to get along without fellowship with the parents or other family members, gives them a format to stew in their anger instead of dealing with the issue, seeking and receiving forgiveness quickly, and restoring relationships. Be proactive in your discipline methods, not reactive. Develop a plan based on the counsel of others you know, and stick to it. If you want a book to refer to, I recommend Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. Blessings to you!

put music on in his room. When you leave the room, tell him you expect him to stay in bed. Of course, he won't, and he'll go kick the door. You're just gonna have to ignore it! He's 2 -- so he's not strong enough to break it. He is doing that to get your attention, and it is working. If you think it won't start the cycle over again, when he FINALLY stops. go back in to check on him and thank him for not kicking your door, and re-assure how much you love him.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all about punishment when its appropriate, but here, he is not trying to mis-behave he just wants you attention at a time that is not appropriate for you to give it to him, bed time. So, you have to send the message that this is time to be in bed and you will not, for any reason be in there with him.

He needs your attention. Maybe you could stay with him until he falls asleep. Read stories, maybe rub or tickle his back if he likes that, sing him a lullaby. When he's really sleepy or asleep, then leave. If nothing else, it's a nicer way to spend that little bit of time than kicking the door. He's only 2.

Remove the door. Counter extreme behavior with extreme action. No door, you'll also be able to monitor him better. Good luck! Our oldest is extremely strong-willed (ADHD), so I understand what kind of struggle this must be. (Our son's bedroom door is also riddled with holes from where he threw things and kicked in starting around age three ... young kids truly can ruin doors.)

Put him back in his crib (or at least threaten to! :))

You can replace the door if you have to. And he might bruise his feet/legs, but I think that I'd just let him do it, and ignore it. If need be, put in earplugs. He's doing this to try to get a response to you and/or get out of his responsibilities (ie, going to bed). Once he stops getting a reaction, and gets it into his head that he won't get a reaction, he'll stop (he's stubborn so it will probably take a while).

Have you tried positive discipline incentives?