I told myself that I wouldn't be one of "those" parents... The parents that get anxiety over leaving their kids with a babysitter. I LOVE it when family members can take Oliver for a few hours (Or overnight) so that hubby and I can have a date night or just a night at home to ourselves. In fact, he's spending the night at my parent's house right now. And I got to have a nice relaxing bubble bath without him on the other side of the door asking me every 5 minutes if I'm done yet. Lol
But, he's only ever been with family members. We have never had a person who wasn't family watch him. And soon I am starting my first full time job where I won't be able to bring him to work with me (I used to be a nanny/babysitter so he was able to come to work with me), and all of my family members are either working or in school full time. So, for the first time, we will have to leave him with someone who isn't family... And I'm FREAKING OUT!!!
We are going to have someone come into our home instead of sending him to daycare (It's the best option for us), and I start interviewing nannies/babysitters next week. This is through care.com, so they have all had background checks and are CPR certified and what-not. I'm sure that my mommy instincts will help me find the one that is right for us, and I know that Oliver is going to have a blast with his babysitter because he LOVES new people... But I can't stop feeling weird about this whole thing.
Urg... Someone slap some sense into me and tell me that I'm not the only one who has felt like this. Please?
well good luck-but id invest in a nanny cam-better to be safe than sorry
Updated
well good luck-but id invest in a nanny cam-better to be safe than sorry
I would not babysit if there were a nanny cam. But then again, I am a professional and probably would never nanny. Who wants to work under surveillance all day?
Go to work and call every other hour. Find a middle aged experienced mom, not a young person or an ESL second person. You do not want to have a language breakdown due to someone not understanding English.
Get a few well placed nanny cams-then you will know exactly how your son is being treated. I didn't trust anybody with my children-no paycheck is worth it.
Many people feel this way. Many people have the initial anxiety, I think there is a little bit of "Fear of the unknown" going on for you. Create a game plan, have questions ready, think back on your experience being a nanny and use it here. Take a deep breath, calm down and trust yourself.
At his age I think a center would be a great option if you can. It would involve more interaction with kids his age and you have more monitoring. Centers are more accountable and with more people to keep an eye on your child. I love that all the teachers know who my kids are, and my kids know all the teachers which makes them feel safe. We have no family around so it's our only option but many of these people have become our family. Look at references and go with your gut.
I never have left my kids with a babysitter whom I haven't used as a "mothers helper" first, ie I stayed at home doing work around the house or some other pretext. It gives you a real sense of the person, in addition to checking on background checks and training, etc.
Get a nannycam so that you can feel comfortable. Remember that she doesn't have to be just like you and he can be nannied differently than parented. Having been a nanny yourself, you know what is right and what is wrong, what is a good work ethic and what isn't.
Good luck!
You are totally not the only one, My kids are 6.5 and 4.5 and we have only left them with a non-family babysitter a handful of times for only an hour or two. I have been lucky to stay at home with them for this long and it would freak me out to have to leave them with someone else every day. I don't mind it for the occasional night ( with a good friend's very reliable teenager) out or weekend away ( with a grandma or aunt) but I think every day would be to much for me at this point.
Goodl luck!
Leaving baby at home while you return to work will likely be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. Prepare for the emotions that come with this transition: grief, sadness, and guilt for leaving your baby and your home; excitement and apprehension about returning to your job; a sense of being stressed and overwhelmed by it all. Accept your emotions as valid and normal. Reason through what you can to decompress on your negative emotions as much as possible. Focus on the positive. Find solutions to any concerns that can reasonably be addressed.
Talk about what you are going through with a good listener. Ideally, your listener will be someone who has had a similar experience in her life and thus can relate to your experience.
During this transition back to work, keep other things in your life as consistent as possible. This is not the time to redecorate your living room, assume an additional civic responsibility, etc.
Acknowledge that it’s ok to cry. You probably don’t want to cry in front of your co-workers, but you can allow yourself to experience your emotions in private moments. These are moments of healthy emotional release.
Ask for help. If you think you are Wonder Woman and can do it all by yourself, you are likely mistaken. Therefore, rely on your chosen nanny at home.
Nannies4hire.com
Short and sweet: it is GOOD for our kids to have other, non-family adults to rely on, who are responsive to their needs and who care about them, whether it is a preschool teacher or in-home care. It helps them later when they are in kindergarten; they have learned to be comfortable asking for what they need and develop a reasonable expectation that the adults/teachers are around to help them, not scary strangers.
I had great luck in having familiar folks providing care for my son up until he went to K, which was when I thought "oh, no! I have to rely on a stranger!" I got over it pretty quickly, though, and remembered that this was important for his development (as well as mine as a parent) to trust this new person. And he did wonderfully with her. Good luck!
