How do I get my baby to fall asleep? She can only fall asleep with my breast in her mouth. Or else she'll cry and cry and the crying escalates... She becomes awake. Then after crying it's even harder to get her to settle down. Also I can't stand to hear her cry!!!! I want to avoid the cry it out method by all means.
I don't have a great solution, I've gone through this with all 3 of my children as babies. What I did was just continue to let them fall asleep at the breast until they didn't need it, but I never forced them. They're all happy now and go to sleep without it, so they do grow out of it. Good luck!
There are several ways that I put my baby to sleep. The breast is the "no fail" way, but my husband does this: He uses a recieving blanket to swaddle him, gives him the pacifier and holds him close to his body. The baby is out like a light!! Babies like to be swaddled, and the like body contact, but I would suggest you get someone else to get him used to sleeping without the breast. iIf you try it, she probably won't go for it, because she will smell the milk. Once someone else gets her used to falling asleep without the breast, you'll be able to do it too. Unless my baby is hungry, he will fall asleep when I hold him close and give him his pacifier. Hope this helps!
In the middle of the night, I have the same problem if I pick up my baby. So when I know that he isn't hungry, I have my husband pick him up if he cries. If my husband holds him and gently bounces for a few minutes, he usually falls back to sleep pretty quickly.
How old is your baby? Keep in mind that for the 1st year of life, a baby needs to be fed on demand... this is per our Pediatrician as well.
Next, are you producing enough milk? If a baby is not getting enough intake... they will cry/not be happy/always be hungry.
Next, is your baby latching on properly? Is the entire nipple/areola in her mouth? Do you see your baby swallowing? If a baby is not latching on properly, they will not be getting enough intake either.. .and will not be satisfied and will be hungry.
Next, does you baby have gas? This also makes them uncomfortable.
Also, at certain growth periods/spurts, a baby even "cluster feeds" which means they even feed every hour.. .and need to. If not getting enough intake, they will be hungry because their intake is NOT keeping up with their growing and caloric/nutritional needs.
Have you tried a sleep sack for your baby? Sometimes this helps and makes them feel cozier.
If your baby is older, not a newborn, you could try a pacifier if you are not against it.
If she is a young baby or newborn, I would not have her cry it out....
I've had a couple of friends whose babies were like that... and it turned out that the baby was basically always hungry and not getting enough intake... either because of improper latching (by the baby) or them not producing enough milk.
Good luck,
Susan
Our little guy would cry like that at first until I figured out that he wasn't hungry just wanted to suck on something. He took a pacifier (dirty word to some) and weaned himself off of it at 9 months. Some kids NEED to suck more than others. We also dealt with GERD or reflux so it helped with that. I know pacifiers are a no-no with some, but it worked for us. I also agree with the growth spurt thing where they need to eat more. I would try giving her an alternate to suck on though and see if that helps.
I have learned that if I am not willing to put to my son to sleep at the breast, then I need to give him to somone else (grandpa, daddy, sissy) who can put him to sleep.
Since I am the one with the breast, he won't take any other comfort from me, so I give him to someone he doesn't expect the breast from.
It's worked very well. He'll cry with them for a SHORT while (10 mins or so), and so long as THEY are willing to persevere in rocking or singing him to sleep, then I am happy, even to have to endure his crying for a short while.
Hello K. - I am unable to see the other answers you received in this new format on Mamapedia (gotta figure that out, eh?), so I apologize if what I say is redundant. I also have a hard time with the traditional full-on, cry-it-out method. I do however strongly support teaching the baby to learn to settle herself to sleep. It really is important. And it sounds like you also want to do that since you are trying to get her away from sleeping at your breast.
With my first, who is now 5, we had great success using a more moderate method that involves some crying - it is discussed in Dr. Weissbluth's book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". He calls it the Controlled Crying (Partial Ignoring) approach. My son is now 8 weeks old and we are starting this approach. I say starting because he is still so little, and sometimes needs a lot more soothing before settling down for naps. Around the time he is 3 months old, I will be more consistent with letting him cry a bit more while carefully monitoring and consoling as needed to help him - but the goal is to wean him away from needing my help.
I hate to say it, but I think you answered your own question. If she falls asleep best at the breast, then let her. My oldest didn't start falling asleep well without breast until she was about 18-20 months old or so. My youngest falls asleep without my breast quite easily at 6 months. A couple books that you might like:
nighttime parenting by Dr. Sears
no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (boarders on CIO)
Check out the books "The Baby Whisperer" and "The Baby Whisperer Solves all your Problems." Her methods work, withOUT crying it out (crying it out works too, but at what cost? Recent brain research indicates that crying it out actually can have long term implications on the brain and psychological development of a baby, so I agree with you that it shouldn't be used).
Anyway, the Baby Whisperer stuff requires a plan and some perseverence on your part, but is SO worth it.
