Baby Tosses and Turns

Updated on November 29, 2009
A.S. asks from Portland, OR
12 answers

My 12 week old baby tosses and turns a lot at night. We swaddle him in a tight fleece/velcro swaddle so his hands don't startle him. He still kicks a lot (last night he not only got his legs out of the swaddle but through the snaps in his footed jammies). I don't think he is ready to give up the swaddle yet because his hands knock his pacifier out and he isn't quite ready yet to self-soothe with his fingers (he can get them to his mouth but not consistently). His tossing and turning keeps both of us awake a lot of the night. I had him in bed with us but now he is in a co-sleeper next to me because I got tired of being kicked! Will this go away on its own (and soon!)? What do you think is causing it? He is a very active boy during the day (he already rolls from his back to front) but I want him to get peaceful sleep at night.

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L.M.

answers from Seattle on

I lose the swaddle. Babies need to learn how to move around and they change positions at night when sleeping too. He can learn to self soothe...either sucking on hands on eventually finding his pacifier and putting it back in his mouth. My son hated the swaddle and always kicked and wanted out. I'd try a sleep sack instead. And if he is keeping you from sleeping due to noises or kicks, I'd move him into his own room. You both need to get lots of good rest.

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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

Unless he's waking up, there's no problem with your baby boy tossing and turning. He's dreaming and growing. Blanket sleepers will keep him warm, Dr. Denton or Carters. Very few people sleep in one position all night long. Swaddling may not be needed any longer to give a sense of security, so let him call the shots here as long as it's not detrimental to his sleep. Take good care!!! Happy Thanksgiving, such an awesome time of year with kids. Much to be thankful for!!!

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M.F.

answers from Seattle on

Take off the swaddle and at night if he wakes up just put your hand on him firmly and shush/pat. This worked wonders for my daughter until I got tired and started down another path. Just be consitant in his night time and listen to the other mothers advice on sleeping and you will be sleeping soon! What ever you do, do not choose something that you are not willing to do long term- co-sleep, nurse to sleep, rock to sleep, etc. as yoru son will want that for a long time. my daughter just sleep last night for the first full night since birth! 7:30 pm to 6 am and it was my fault for not teaching her earlier. Listen to the moms they know how to do it right!!
what I do know is that he also may never settle completly. when I put my daughter down last night on her back she instantly rolled to her tummy and stuck her butt in the air! I can still hear her on the monitor rolling around in her crib.
Good luck and enjoy they grow up to quick!

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R.C.

answers from Portland on

Standard recommendations are to not swaddle the legs anymore, because binding them up can inhibit physical development in the hips. If you think he's calmer with his legs swaddled, just do it briefly, for naps, etc.

Other than that I agree with the other recommendations, to try not swaddling and see what happens. My son didn't have much response to swaddling. We did the blanket sleepers, too. Also, are you breastfeeding? All night seems like a long time to need a pacifier. Babies have sucking needs, but the best way to meet the normal sucking need is nursing, which is also meeting their comfort/bonding/human needs. At 12 weeks, it's natural for a baby to wake up every few hours and need something.

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B.C.

answers from Seattle on

I agree with using a blanket sleeper and letting him kick (for muscle development). His active personality doesn't change just because it's night, and won't necessarily "stop" at any certain age. I also thought co-sleeping was important (and easier with frequent nursing and diaper changes at night). But if YOU need peacefulness to sleep, and his movements are keeping you awake, then maybe it's time to move him to his own bedroom (with a monitor so you can easily hear if he really needs you at night, but not every little sound). You will really be a better parent if you get your night's sleep, and at this age your son will be napping twice (or more) during the day anyway.
You can find other times to cuddle your son so he feels the closeness he would with co-sleeping.

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L.G.

answers from Eugene on

He likes to feel free and move freely at night. Don't swaddle him. He's not the type for it. He's a thumb sucker why keep him from doing so. I let my children suck their thumbs and it was a great deal healthier than those easy to lose pacifiers which are forever dropping on the floor in strange places.
You and your husband love this little boy and so you are learning who he is as he develops.

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P.H.

answers from Portland on

I agree with the non-swaddle. Most babies outgrow the need at around 4 weeks. As far as kicking through the snaps, they do make zip up sleeping sacks. I don't remember what they're called but it's a cross between a blanket sleeper and a sleeping bag. Keeps them warm and lets them kick without losing their blanket.

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B.O.

answers from Portland on

In my opinion, he is letting you know that he does not like being swaddled:) Also, if he can self-pacify with his fingers some of the time, then he needs the opportunity to be able to do it all the time;)

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J.B.

answers from Yakima on

It sounds like he doesn't want to be swaddled. I have five children and of those five only two liked to be swaddled from day one. The only way he will consistently find his fingers is by practice, practice, practice. It is never too early to learn to self-sooth. You have to be patient and let him cry a few minutes to see if he can figure out how to help himself sooth himself. Go an extra minute each night and see if that works. It takes time. The longer you wait to help him self-sooth the harder it will be.

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A.D.

answers from Portland on

Both my boys were kickers, the first one worse than the second. I ended up cosleeping with both because they got limbs caught in the crib slats and the piercing screams in the middle of the night are not worth it. No bumper would stop it. With my second boy, who did not like being swaddled, I actually physically held his arms away from his face while he slept--we did this for 4 months! Seriously, I just put both his wrists in my hand and held them gently down, from about 4 A. to 7 A. every single morning. It sucked. But it was the only way to keep him from punching himself. I'm not a fan of CIO for little babies. Mine don't "fuss" for a bit, like all the books and other moms say; mine WAIL. Until they puke. Not worth it. I actually learned to semi-sleep while keeping the baby's hands away from himself. Once he started consistently sleeping on his stomach it was over and we could both sleep better. Good luck.

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K.C.

answers from Medford on

My dd was a kicker from day 1, and three years later, still is. My son, just six weeks old, is much less active with his limbs at night. Kids are just different.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I agree with the idea that he's trying to get free. I'd try not swaddling him for several nights and see if he stops so much kicking. How can he learn to self-soothe with his fingers if they're not available to him? Also, he might just learn how to find his pacifier again or even figure out to not knock it out. Most babies knock out their pacifier. If you don't put it back in they will learn how to deal with it.

He will most likely be fussy or even cry out loud for the first few nights. But he will adapt and you will be further ahead than if you kept protecting him from losing his pacifier and kept insisting he be swaddled even tho his is trying his best to get out. You can put off making this change but you'll eventually have to do it.

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