My friend's SIL is 6 months pregnant and has been put on bed rest. She is high risk and the doctors say they may have to take the baby early via c-section. Understandably, it's a scary prospect. Would it be appropriate to throw her a shower at this point or is it better to wait until after the baby is born? She doesn't want the event to go unrecognized, but given the situation what is the best way to handle this. Thanks in advance for your input.
Ask her before assuming. No one threw a shower for us because my baby was born almost 4 months early. It was too early to plan one and our situation was a bit rough, but in the end he came home healthy. We ended up scrambling for things that we needed and it really put a dent on the wallet. Plus, in a weird way, it made me feel like no one was excited about his birth. Maybe a shower can be thrown after the delivery.
In my opinion, a baby's birth is time to celebrate; BUT, if your friend is supposed to be on bed rest, it means, rest, rest, REST... and no stress! So, in due respect, that would be what she NEEDS! Tell her that there is going to be a shower, but, she needs to follow doctor's orders. That is what her and her baby needs, most, right now.
Hi L.!
I think it best to talk to your friend and work out what is best for her family. I was on bed rest for my first son and my Mom came over and we made a list or everything and she went out and did the registry. She called back and forth, wrote down questions, took pictures, etc which made it very time consuming for her but she wanted my husband and I to make all the decisions (he was working more due to the bed rest). The day of the shower (after double checking at the dr's) I had a special rocking chair with a foot stool and my girlfriend and Mom made sure I didn't get out of the chair! 100% no mingling and people underdtood and came to me!
It was a different approach to a shower and I did feel a little guilty but in the end it worked out and baby did benefit by staying put longer!
Best Wishes!
OMG, I'm supposed to attend a shower today for my friend that is in the hospital and is due to come out today and be on bed rest. Again, the shower IS today. She is also considered high risk. Could this be the same person? Lol.
I have the gifts and was planning on going, but to be honest I'm worried that we will be jinxing it (so to speak) at this point.
After suffering two first trimester miscarriages, I can't imagine how hard it would be in this situation. In the event that something does happen, I feel it would be more difficult to have all the unopened items around my house as a reminder. So, IMHO, if the shower hasn't been planned, I say to hold off.
In my situation, her Mom has planned for this and probably has ordered food, etc for about 30 people.
It's a tough call and I hope to see some other responses this morning before I'm supposed to go!
I would totally wait... and her is why... if the baby comes earlier there is a lot more things she will need than if the baby is on time or should i say different things. Having it after too might be better because she will be up to it. Being on bed rest is tough and she would probably want to get out but she NEEDS to be on bed rest to keep that baby in as long as possible. My second was born 4 weeks early and had to be in the NICU for 8 days and it is the worst thing as a mother I ever had to go through. If the baby comes early she will need a lot of support and having a shower afterwards would be good.
I really think someone needs to talk to her and see how she feels. She may really want a baby shower now and it may help to cheer her up and keep her remaining positive. Or, she may not want one and would like to have one once the baby is here and doing well. Maybe have her mom or husband or a family member sit down with her and see how she really feels. She may be upset if she doesn't get one before the baby comes, you just never know. Given the situation, I think it is totally appropriate to get her thoughts.
I was bleeding an placed on bedrest at 22 weeks. I had several more episodes of bleeding and was sectioned at 35 weeks. Nobody threw me a shower because the situation was so precarious. As someone who has been there, I would say go for it. I really miss not having the memories of a shower and really had to scramble with online shopping in order to get what we needed before the baby came.
Another idea is to get everyone together while she is in the hospital having the c-section and put together the baby's room for her so everything is ready to go when she comes home. Having a c-section is really painful and it would be really nice for her to be able to rest and recover - not having to worry about stocking a nursery.
All the best to you and her!
