Baby Shower - Bring a Book Instead of a Card - Tacky?

Bring a book instead of a gift....not instead of a card. The way it is stated, the parents to be are basically asking guests to provide two gifts which is a bit rude no matter how cute the rhyming verse is.

I think she ask for it to be a "book shower", like a "diaper shower", where that is all that she gets. But I think it's really tacky to ask for a gift and a book. That's technically 2 gifts.
I think that if you agree with that, you'd be doing her a favor to tell her. She may not be thinking about it that way.

I think this is a great idea. It is practical, meaningful and environmentally friendly. I hate buying cards that are just going to be thrown away, but I love buying books that children will love for years to come. I see lots of people spend $5 on Hallmark cards that go into the trash, yet I am looking at my kids Scholastics order form and I am seeing dozens of excellent titles for as little as $1.99. As the books are for mom and baby to read they don't need to be hardcover or board book, soft cover is fine for building a library.

I've tweeked your wording just a bit. See if you like it:

One Lil Request ... It Shouldn't Be Hard,
Please Bring A Book; No need for a card.

____ and ____wish to read each night,
Before they kiss their sweet ___ and turn out the light.

Any children's book that you love should be what you choose,
Be it brand new or gently used
Just remember to sign inside a special message from you.

Thank you for helping their library grow,
They really appreciate it, just so you know!

You could definitely request a book instead of a gift. But I don't see that you can ask for two gifts (the regular gift plus another one instead of a card).

This idea has become quite popular. Here are some variations I found online. The first poem is very similar to the one used at my first baby shower (in 2005).

Honestly, books aren't much more than cards these days. Target had those chubby Dr. Seuss books (The Foot Book, Are You My Mother, etc.) for $3.50 a few weeks ago. Cards can easily run $2.99-$4.99.

Great idea--not tacky at all!!!!

*****************************************

A card is something very nice,
But maybe read only once or twice.
So instead, think of sharing a book you see
And M. and daddy will read it to me.
Please sign your name and add a note too,
So I know this storybook was from you.
I'm tiny now, just a sweet little tot
But someday I'll thank you with all my heart.

One small request that won't be too hard
Please bring a book instead of a card
Whether Cat in the Hat or Winnie the Pooh
You can sign the inside cover with a note from you
Baby will become very smart, if my advice you do heed
If we begin early, he'll soon love to read

New or used, it doesn't matter,
Instead of a card, please bring a book.
Sign the inside with wishes and love.
Let's help Nolan build his reading nook!

I was invited to a shower like that for my cousin. I forget the exact wording on the invitation, but it said to bring a "well-loved" (i.e. used) book. The poem said something about books that friends and family had already loved were the best kind... anyway, I thought that was the cutest idea! Not tacky at all (especially since it was free for us - gave me the chance to recycle some of our oldies but goodies to a new generation). Obviously, the people who didn't have young kids bought books (but were free to do so at a secondhand store if they wanted).

i don't think i understand. does she want a book instead of a card AND another gift as well?
that's pretty controlling, isn't it?
my niece asked for everyone's favorite childhood books with a message on the flyleaf AS her baby shower gift. i loved that idea!
but to demand a book instead of a card, but no used books, and still want a gift too, indicates exactly the sort of person who causes me to loathe showers.
khairete
S.

If she's asking for a book instead of a gift, great idea! If she's asking for a book *in addition to* a gift, that's tacky. I'm with you…books cost way more than a card.

Make it optional. "We would love to get the babies started off with a library of favorites, so if you would like, please bring your favorite children's book inscribed with a message for the babies."

I think your rhyme is cute, but too long. KISS.

I'm torn on it honestly. One part of me thinks reading is very important and it's an awesome way to bond with your kids and I personally don't care either way. But another part of me knows there are people out there who will either A. Not show up to a shower that requests that or B. get just a book. Like previous posters said...you basically asking for two gifts and yes..that is kinda rude.

Overall, my opinion...YOUR the one planning the baby shower. Not her. This is in favor for her and she should just suck it up and appreciate what she does receive. If you find it to be tacky then you don't have to do it.

I've done this for 2 baby showers I helped host, & it was a HUGE hit!

I think that if you have close friends/family coming to the baby shower, they won't mind in the least. Most people tend to go over & above to get cutesy little things for the baby, and to be able to shop for a book, that they can sign & make special, is all the more fun.

One baby shower I did this for was my own sister, & she still reads the books to my niece - in fact some of them were for older kids (3+) so she is just starting to read them to her now.

The other baby shower was for friends of mine who adopted, & took place after they got their baby. We sent "bring a book" invitations to the family members that were invited, & "wishing well" invitations to friends. (The Wishing Well was set up for necessities, like diapers, wipes, etc. & we asked everyone to bring one thing from a list of 6 items to help fill the well)

Like I said, HUGE hit, no one complained about having to "buy more". We made up normal invitations, & then made a "bookmark" with the poem on it as an insert.

And, I know in some regions things are different, but my friends baby shower was in Milwaukee, & my sisters baby shower was in Chicago.

One thing you can do to make it fun, is to have a little 1-2 shelf bookcase that you can put the books on as they are opened, & then a photo of Mom-to-be, & all the guests, with the filled bookcase in front. Include a copy of the picture in the thank-you cards.

Have a blessed event! T.

Great idea if she wants a book shower but tacky to expect a book and a gift.

Tacky to expect a gift and a book. Either it's a book shower or a normal shower.

I think it's tacky as I feel it's asking for two gifts. A book instead of a gift is fine.

So she wants a book and a gift? To me, it would be one or the other. Book shower or gift shower.

I love this idea! Starting baby library...some cards cost as much as books. You can suggest to bring gently used baby book they don't use anymore.

Looks like you already decided not to do it, but we just got an invite with this request as well. At the bottom of the invite, it read "If you wish, instead of a card with your gift, please bring a signed book for baby." I thought it was a great idea and very tactful. No big deal, just a simple message. Why spend $4 on a crappy card when you can spend $7 on a nice book they will keep for years? Plus you can spend the same amount on the total gift. I don't think it's asking people to increase their spending, and personally would rather give something I know they will use. My mom (64) was also invited and liked the idea too.

The gold standard is...no reference should ever be made to gifts on an invitation. No matter how great the concept, it is rude. Not everyone cares about etiquette, for sure, but if you want to go by The Rules, definitely no. A more correct way to achieve the same thing would be to make the shower book themed. People should get the idea from the theme. As the hostess, you aer permitted to talk with guests who have questions about gifts. Sally calls you and asks where Mom is registered. You say- she is registered at Babies R Us, but I know she would love a book for their growing library with a personal note inside! If people ask, you can tell :) I do love the concept, though, I hope it works out!

Yes...tacky.
NEVER refer to specific gifts in an invitation!
If she's like a book shower--then fine. But, no, do not specify "book instead of a card!

I read this earlier and was thinking about it, not sure how I'd feel about being asked to "buy" a second gift.

Then while I was walking around Walmart I thought about how some cards nowadays are $4 or $5. That a cheap card is a buck at the dollar store/shop. I found a bunch of Golden Books, stage 1 books, baby library books, Susan Boynton soft books, and more through out the store and not many of them were more than a nice card would be.

So, after thinking about it I think that I like this idea. WoW! I didn't think I did but now, I do think it's awesome.

I do like the wording in the response below, they were very well thought out.

A children's book is one of my go-to gifts for a new baby. If I want to give a book and can't afford the new price, I check out second-hand bookstores, thrift stores, garage sales. So what if it's not brand new? The STORY is what's important.
But the book IS the gift, not a substitute for a card.

I think it is a cute idea, and I would not think twice about getting a book and bringing it to the shower.

not at all tacky!! i love bringing a book instead of a card and never feel that it's an inappropriate request. all those wonderful books with the inscriptions is a great way to start off a nursery. most books are inexpensive and can be bought right along with the registry gift. if i did have a problem with it, i would simply politely decline. have fun!!! :-) S.

I won't do it. Have gotten a few of those invites. Gets to be too much "give me, give me." I am sure these women are not talking about a book from the dollar aisle in Target. I get gift and a card.

The wording is cute and clever, however you are requesting 2 gifts and that is tacky. Although I do agree some books can be bought for less than the price of a card! How about a book themed baby shower or once the baby comes, to host a sip-n-see. One sip-n-see I went to was diaper themed. Brilliant.

I think it's sweet, because books are fantastic. And cards are useless.

But I might frame the request slightly differently.

Send all kinds of hints, like having invitations shaped like books, or pictures of babies reading books, or pictures of beloved children's books, like Goodnight Moon. If people ask you what she wants, tell them "something small, plus a book." She can also do an Amazon registry and include a lot of books.

That'll add up to a million books, but with a different tone.

I don't like being told what gift to bring. A big "no" from me. I'm pretty sure Emily Post would agree.

I like the idea and there are a wide range of books and prices. I did like the idea one mentioned of adding in gently used- could even be a book they own that their kids liked.

Why not have a wish list of children's books set up on Amazon as a registry option?

My sister did this for my baby shower and I still have all the books (the baby books are in storage). It is up to each person to bring what they liked as a child or what they can afford (they can bring a dollar store baby book) and they can write a little note in the book (some notes that I got were on separate paper).

I got mostly baby books but I also got a few large bedtime story books and older reading books that she can read now. My daughter is 7 and loves to read. My sister also decorated a book case for her room.

I am glad she did this instead of a box full of extra miscellaneous baby stuff, the books will last a lot longer and personal messages are always nice to look back on.

I like:

Thank you for helping their library grow,
They really appreciate it just so you know!

Just include it in the bottom.

You can also say - Book Wishing Well - and have a box decorated to drop books in.

I don't think asking for a book instead of a card is quite the way to go about it. But, I don't have a problem with asking for a book from each person. Just be prepared that some people may only give a book and not have a separate gift (which is perfectly fine in my opinion).

I wouldn't be offended if I saw this on an invitation at all. However, the price of the book would definitely factor into the overall amount I spent on a gift (whereas a card would not).

CUTE!
So are you asking for a book AND a gift? You may want to be clear on that.
Would you accept a used book - one of their favourites or one that they kid has outgrown?
Do you want a bunch of books as gifts or do you want other gifts too?
Is this her first baby?
Does she need other stuff?

Gifts are a touchy subject, people like to give but they don't like to be asked.
Maybe a regular invite and then CALL the people you are close to and let them know her preferences...when she has them figured out.

B.

Cards are somewhat expensive so a book is a good substitute. I would ask her if she would mind books from a second hand or thrift shop. As long as the books are in good shape I wouldn't mind.

I've been invited to several showers that did this, and the wonderful ladies that threw my shower for my first son included this. I've never thought it was tacky, and as a recipient it was a wonderful surprise! We have so many books, and most of our family/friends included messages in the front cover so we know which book came from who. My son loves to read, and it was great to have a little library set up for him before he was even born. It was actually a fun part of the shower, as most people picked books they loved as kids or that their kids loved so there was a lot of reminiscing as I opened each one. To each their own, but this really is a neat thing to do.

I can see what you are saying, but a shower is a way for people to shower the family with gifts. You are not really asking for a new book and many cards are $5. This will be so much better than a card.

I do recall a book request at my shower. I was new to the whole shower thing, but I am happy to have the books with the note inside. Books have lasted a lot longer than a wipe warmer.

I think it's a great idea. The buyers could always drop a few dollars off the gift itself to compensate for the upcharge from card to book.

I love the idea....go with it.

We did this for our baby shower 8 years ago, and I was just invited to another one where they've requested the same thing. I think it's a great idea! Cards end up getting thrown away, but books will last a long time. I can tell you from my experience that each time I open one of the books we received to read to one of our kids, I LOVE reading the little note in the inside cover and get a warm little glow remembering the excitement from the baby shower. It's great for the kids (to have a great library of books to read) and the parents (who inevitably get worn down with kids and can use those little reminders as a pick-me-up when they see it).
I understand your concern about books being expensive, but there are soft-cover books (we LOVE the Little Critter books!) that are much more reasonable - not much more than a nice card, in fact!

I do not think it is tacky at all. I love it and always include books with baby gifts myself. I have been at showers where we discussed it (it wasn't requested at this shower-but myself and the others at my table included books). We all agreed that it's better than cards and the gift giver knows that their boom will last much longer than baby clothes or diapers.

You can buy little board books at the dollar store. I wouldn't worry at all about it being an additional cost.

I think it's like asking for two gifts. We did a diaper raffle at my sister's baby shower in December and that was a big hit. Guests were told for each bag/box of diapers they brought to play the game, they would get a ticket. A grand prize would be provided for the winner. So it was a game, not a gift...but my sister made out on diapers.

Maybe you could do something like that? Books can be cheap, but I bet she'll get a lot of the cheap ones (and repeats) if it's a big shower...

A LOT of women seem to be doing that. My sister-in-law did that at her baby shower. She said that she put all the books that she received away and she pulls a few of them out from time to time to read to her baby, along with the notes inside from family members, she said it's very sweet.

I think getting a small board book instead of a card is an awesome idea. I wish I would have done that at my shower. I also think that the price of baby board books are comparable to the price of card but with a book it's a much better idea because you don't throw the book away like you do the card.

in my area and economic level I have been to several that do this and usually people like it, but it sounds like from your answers it hasn't caught on all over the us, yet.

Wow! What a wonderful idea! The cards get put away and forgotten, but a book will be there and the wishes will be remembered, every time the book is read!

My family did this at my shower, and I loved it! We got so many great books that had personal messages in them, and even now, when I read the books to my 5 year old, she wants me to also read the personal message to here and know who gave it to her Books are not that expensive! You can buy one for $1 at the dollar store. You can always buy a few extra at the dollar store for guests who arrive without books. My guests all brought great books, no cheapies, so no one seemed offended by the request.